For decades, shmup nerds have said autofire is too good, and that "mashing is a skill". Well, I played the new ChoRenSha 68K update with autofire on, and in 9 minutes I got a 2-ALL. That settles it once, and for all: it's time to ban Minecraft Steve in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Funny thing about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate having 86 characters is that the matchup grids look like this
Watching some Smash Bros.
Watching some Smash Bros.
Watching some Smash Bros.
Watching some Smash Bros.
Funniest thing about the new Smash Bros. Ultimate tier list, apart from Bayonetta going up 15 spaces, is Power Suit Samus being higher than Zero Suit Samus for the first time in series history. The way things should be. Zebes is healing.
Very darkly ironic that Bayonetta in Smash Bros. finally became competitively relevant again only after Bayonetta 3 killed almost all interest in the character.
*in the middle of lying about knowing about competitive Smash Bros.* Yeah no Brawl Rosalina was obscene. She could have 2 Lumas out at once
Watching some Smash Bros.
Watching some Smash Bros.
There exists a world where Nintendo allowed Smash Bros. to stay at EVO and everyone's watching it now. Unfortunately, grand finals consists of Minecraft Steve building walls while Sonic the Hedgehog spins into them over and over, so it's not unambiguously the better world…
Watching some Smash Bros.
WHICH SMASH BROS. GAME DID THEY ORIGINATE IN
a guide by Leon
Barely resembles the game they're from: 64
Heavily uses a wacky projectile: Brawl
Has a bunch of authentic sound effects + a meter: Smash 4
Has 7+ other entirely unique mechanics: Ultimate
Is a Zelda character: Melee
Watching some Smash Bros.
Zelda fans when Smash Bros. 6 finally revises Ganondorf to use a moveset from the actual games, only to discover it's entirely based off TotK and is thus basically the same as before:
I want Arle in Smash, but only if she uses Madou Monogatari's gimmick where, instead of a % number on the bottom of the screen, it's just her face getting gloomier.
Pochi & Nyaa is the Smash Bros. of versus puzzlers:
• Not obvious whether any attack is enough to KO
• If you aren't KO'd by a hit, then you can definitely recover
• At high percents ("Hurry Up" x4 or more) it devolves into frantically spamming down tilts and neutral airs
*thinks about how the Super Smash Bros. localisers couldn't localise PK Fire or PK Thunder the way they were in EarthBound because they didn't want to redo two of Ness's voice lines, but /could/ localise PSI Magnet because it didn't have a line* Ahh, fate is a fickle mistress
Puyo Puyo's relationship to Madou Monogatari is like Super Smash Bros's relationship to Captain Falcon and the Ice Climbers
I find it funny how Super Smash Bros. has such strange and not particularly intuitive basic mechanics, but since basically everyone owns a copy somewhere, more people would implicitly understand competitive footage of it than they would for traditional fighters.
5 days ago: the first Smash Ultimate tier list is released.
Now: the Smash Ultimate community is in turmoil.
Let this be a lesson once and for all: tires don exits
I feel so sad, for Smash Bros. comp players. They don't deserve these pains.
It seems today is Ken Versus Pyra Sunday (Ken is not a particularly popular Smash Ultimate character despite probably being high tier)
I can't bear this. I need to detox. *tunes into a stream to watch Ken getting demolished by Pyra from Xenoblade while the Animal Crossing villagers gaze boredly* Ahh… back to the way things should be…
(By which I mean, he still has that move to this day in Ultimate, but since then it's been more usefully documented in the game's text itself.)
Thinking of how funny and underrated it is that Ness in Smash 64 had an up-B move that was so ridiculously counterintuitive that the only way to figure out how to use it properly was to watch the CPU players use it.
My favourite Smash Bros. main? Gotta be good old Fox. Loved that li'l rascal in Tunic. *places cursor on Toon Link*
Watching top tier Smash Bros. play
