You step into the boss's chamber without one of the 7 armour powerups. Such fearsome might you must have, to stand before her so vulnerable.
"And to think! I have so many holidays now, I can't even remember my last one!"
"Wait… so you don't even know if it actually happened?"
"Getting a woman is… like wrestling a bear," his chum proclaims.
"Is that a joke simile for a hard task or is it really like that," he asks.
This illustrates it's a little peculiar how concatenation has its own operator in proglangs, and anything else requires methods/regexes.
(It'd of course be asymmetric with plus-as-concat, but I guess the current state where minus does nothing is also asymmetric in a way.)
I feel like overloading minus is easiest, but I don't want the right side of the subtraction to be a different type to the left side.
Because strings are immutable, I designed the array operations to pretend arrays are immutable – but how many proglangs actually do that?
I'd decided that strings and arrays should be mutated identically in Twine 2, but now I'm feeling a tad daunted.
I don't know about you, but if I got the Triforce, "vultures rule the desert" would def be my first wish.
– a close friend suddenly –casually!– revealing wondrous power, and being filled with compersion for them, and amazement at the world anew.
This may sound silly, but this is the same sort of feel that drew me deep into the first Harry Potter book, all those years ago –
I started the first 12 Steven Universe eps. I'm super fond of the intros where Steven is in awe of his moms' powers as they introduce them.
I keep reading "Clojure" as some unusual word or portmanteau, but then I regrettably remember it's just "closure" with the letter J of Java.
(I also like the early 90s trend of calling websites "(thing) Hyper(noun)", as in "hypertext" – the "Info-Mac HyperArchive", for instance)
I like this classic 2-bit pixel art page nav graphic on the Common Lisp HyperSpec site.
http://media.tumblr.com/00b80350b6b4c15a3e8caffc8689f348/tumblr_inline_nckbdflJAc1r2gkqp.gif – What's interesting about this is that it's a Game & Watch sequel to Ice Climber http://www.fourhman.com/blog/archive/2007/09/selected-scans.html
Honestly, I can only think of two more viable stage concepts:
* Boxing on top of the Statue of Liberty
* "Punch-Out Floats"
Now that they've made the Punch-Out boxing ring stage in the newest Smash Bros., they've exhausted all possible Punch-Out stage concepts.
(Just so you know, the web Twitter video player seemingly does NOT correctly account for timestamped YouTube links.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=L-yB4bbljoM#t=220 – It wasn't right to sic this horrible minigame on innocent Yoshi-loving kids.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=46250972 – This isn't noteworthy except it looked a lot like Madotsuki/Hex Maniac in the thumbnail, so that's my new OTP.
The succubus climbs over you, smiles, and gently clips her head through your chest to slurp your soul straight out of your heart.
After those heroes blew up the source of all magic last year, the job market for psychics has been flooded with ex-wizards.
A vampire lord flying low over midnight countryside – a flashlight in one hand and a smartphone map app in the other.
The news eagerly reports that the approaching asteroid is "the size of a Great Dane".
"It's 2014! You *must* have invented recreational catapults that fling you at exactly the right angle to land safely on a nearby cliff."
BRB adding code to all my games that profusely thanks the player if they start playing them five years after their release date.
You sometimes feel you live in a world that affords humans dignity and grace, and then a Duck Mage turns your party into frogs for 5 turns.
Your healer can undo the candyfication curse on your legs, but really wants to chomp one first, "and heal the bite immediately, promise".
"It was believed a perfect, infallible being would surely expel nothing, so only the fallen angels were depicted with butt cracks."
You find the fire giant's bed – a broad pool of smooth glassy rock, melted feather-soft every night, then left to harden every morning.
You can only tell how long your naps are by how green your clotted hair is when you wake.
"My parents wanted a psychic, so they mind-controlled me to do maths homework. They hoped I'd someday break the control… Now I'm tenured."
http://www.intheattic.co.uk/images/G&W/Review/Marios_Bombs_Away/TB-94_Back.jpg – I feel like Smash Bros. is mistaken in bringing back Dr. Mario instead of his Mario's Bombs Away incarnation.
*villainous grin* It feels like hope fading into despair!
I enjoy taking a refrigerated apple, holding it under the hot tap, then feeling the coldness in the core quickly subsume its surface heat.
http://mspaintadventures.com/ – The scheduled "end of Homestuck" update has now been demoted to "start of the first bit of the end of Homestuck".
"If you're with four other cartoon characters, and you can't see the one that'd shout "GOLD, GOOOOOLD!!" if they found gold, then it's you."
"When the first staircase that went up AND down was opened, the public often climbed it just to try the impossible feat of turning around."
"Brain theory supposes that our universe comprises a cosmically large brain, and intelligent life is merely one of its erotic daydreams."
In other news, the *real* social media gold – usernames containing only underscores – has already been mined out all the way to ________ (8)
If your name is Jon, Sue, Eve, Eva or Tim, and you're clawing at your screens in fear your Ello name is about to get snatched, I feel you.
I'm checking how many Ello usernames are still not taken and I'm howling at how many three-character names are just sitting there untouched.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=10487671 – I'll be a sucker for colour until every colour is sucked out of my body.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=30406374 – My favourite Smash Bros. ship is Mr. Game & Watch / a praying mantis.
The defense introduces its theory to the court: what if there was a "fourth person" that the article was written in
Still can't believe the titular 3 in Super Mario Bros. 3 is killed when Mario collects the coins that make up its body.
Still can't believe the Gone Home home turned out to be an upside-down sky castle, and that's why you "fly" up into the light at the end.
You know you're meant to say "That was AWESOME" to him for saving your life, but the monster he killed did flatten your favourite restaurant
How long ago did you update your resume? Hint: the only items in it are "Made it through the tunnel" and "Grabbed that fire on the wall".
"90% of wizards is destroyed when they attempt to cast this spell." *footage of dozens of wizards shrunk to 10% of their original size*
"It was the sudden arrival of the "leg cape" that gave dresses the foothold they needed to slowly sneak back into mainstream masculinity."
"Giving the gods god-like powers was humanity's first and greatest mistake."
You don't want to speak against your vampire lord, but when you see forgotten mugs of your blood all over the place, you take it personally.
The humans that lived until the end
let themselves freeze in bows
to say to the next Earthlings,
whoever they may be:
"We are so sorry."
You help your partner feel safe near you by plugging your arm cannon with a pillow. You all know it does nothing, but it makes a difference.
As your memory of the fire spell fades, it resembles fire less and less. The last time it was red cellophane. This time, marker scribbles.
Splashmaster: The Pyro
Noisemaster: The Scout
Mutemaster: The Heavy
Rosemaster: Hm, probably The Spy, but hidden eyes is The Soldier's motif
OK, everyone's asleep, so it's back to what I ~really~ use this microblog feed for: matching up Cucumber Quest villains and TF2 classes.
You know exactly what to do with only five Time Crystals: drop four of them off the apartment roof, then use the last one to get them back.
"Think of programs as 'how-to guides', code as how-to guides to writing how-to guides, and compilers as how-to guides to reading how-to-guid
"Think of code as both the 'recipe book' for a program, and the ingredients. It's a book the computer reads and cooks at the same time."
What if animals feel heartache stronger than humans do.
What if the "Sorry, I dropped my Doritos" chat spam is deliberate viral marketing.
"Yeah, we buy Potions from the supermarket. Going for the HP-topping Mountain Milk is a waste of whatever effed-up fuel this airship uses."
"In 2084, science builds a robot species so advanced, man was about equal to his own creation! But his pride led him to declare war anyway."
00's Fansite Name Tier List:
1) Headquarters
2) Dungeon
3) Shrine
4) Database
5) Realm
Whether or not I've come close to succeeding in this is something I'll only discover by learning from and listening to you.
and, of course, lay the groundwork for more expressive means of adding interactivity to the page than my somewhat cumbersome Twine 1 macros.
Such as: reducing the intermixing of code and prose; providing some intermediate means to conveniently style the story outside of CSS;
Nevertheless, I feel like these code examples illustrate a few of the design goals that went into making this syntax.
This is not terribly good reading - the textual equivalent of upending a tub of studded bricks on your carpet and omitting the instructions.
http://twine2.neocities.org/ – I've updated this site with a mostly-complete infodump of what the current state of Twine 2 syntax and macros is.
"Don't kiss me on the spike," asks Spike-Nose. "I touch the whole world with it – walls, the player, bonus balloons… Kiss me on my eyes."
Your arch-rival uses her wish to find her long-lost sibling. In a flash, you appear before her… and Heaven shook from your wailing "NOOOO"s.
Not only did she shred you to rags, but she used you to patch up the rips you put in her. Such cheek to defy her – now your cheek is hers!
I tried looking up Bae Come Over tweets, but all of them now are just mocking the format. Is this TFW they realised the dodo was extinct
"You can't sell carbon dioxide today. There's simply too much of it! Animals that trade on the CO₂ market for sustenance are in danger."
"The Epiphanerium exhibit is only open to teens, as only they are healthy and young enough to survive its shocking, life-changing epiphany."
The pony heedlessly cantered back to its owners, carrying the tiny little girl who even then was still trying her hardest to steal it.
(I'm not sure what kind of blending the + operation should use – the RGB averaging algorithm GM used may not be quite as useful as others.)
Verbose though it is, I feel it's a more intuitive and readable way of defining colours within code than just the HSV/HSL functions alone.
Here I admit I come from Game Maker experience, where blending together basic constants to produce more useful colours was commonplace.
Another Twine 2 gimmick: some basic colour constants that are first-class values which can be blending with +.
Thanks to CSS, there are 2 versions of each colour: the web version, and the correct version.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavender_(color)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chartreuse_(color)
The final scene is of the villain sucking up a dandelion instead of blowing, to absorb its symbolism of new beginnings for themselves.
All that washed ashore were their songs – an icy continent's ballads and dirges, carried by the waves to sunny, warm beaches.
The slimes are dismayed to find that they've merged together into a much, much smaller slime that has all of their tininess put together.
British: "colourise"
North American: "colorize"
Transatlantic: "colorise"
Nation X: "colourize"
Standardising new names is evidently not that arduous, so improving the spread of dark shades couldn't be too insurmountable.
I guess one tiny irk I have with this addition is that it makes me wonder why the colour list still lacks decent dark shade coverage today.
Naming colours after individuals may seem a bit silly, but then we've all had AliceBlue in our browsers since the 90s http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_blue
http://codepen.io/trezy/blog/honoring-a-great-man –A new web colour name was just added in memory of a CSS developer's daughter who died of cancer a couple months ago.
(I accept that I could easily wake up tomorrow and discover this is more nebulous than just copy-pasting "<span style=…>" tags everywhere.)
Another part of my ongoing Twine 2 quest to make text styling accessible in the macro realm instead of just HTML/CSS.
*looks at dark chocolate in supermarket aisle* "This is just a palette-swap with higher stats."
"High-level fire wizards can mimic fire's most potent power: transforming any paper, cloth and wood they touch into copies of themselves."
Amateur Bee Photo two.
It's that fortunate few weeks of the year when I can go into the yard and freely take Amateur Bee Photos.
As the hero drifts off to sleep, they imagine their weak, meek partner defeating them in combat and getting dozens of level-ups at once.
Yup, not one of the spells you invented in your teens does a thing now in your thirties. You hauled these tomes through 7 moves for nothing.
God giving a tour of Earth to potential deity tenants while humanity obediently hides in their basements.
You've got quotes like "You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet!" sandwiched between "You spoony bard!" and "This guy are sick".)
(As an aside, it's somewhat remarkable how well-written and well-localised FF6's script is compared to its immediate series siblings.
His defeat does secure safety for the world, but to me is narratively more a climactic act of self-actualisation for the FF6 party.
and the plot of the Ruined World doesn't really hyper-focus on his defeat as the "prophecised" cure-all that will un-ruin things.
he "rules" the Ruined World not as the Head Honcho of all the land's monsters and curses, but as a distant deific force of destruction,
I won't comment on whether FF6 should have omitted killing Kefka, because I feel Kefka's role is a scant more nuanced than Ganondorf's;
You save your friends and Zelda, and together depart to a far corner of Hyrule, simply to eke out a new life in the shadows of oppression.
What if beating Ganondorf wasn't even on the table? That's the future's premise: he has "won" and now rules Hyrule in a manner like Kefka.
You're in the future, the towns are besieged or razed, and you try to find them, not as the bane of the ultimate evil, but as their friend.
How much better would OoT have been, though, if rescuing them was the end goal, and not just a set of checkboxes needed to beat Ganondorf.
Ocarina of Time resembles Final Fantasy 6, in that partway in you enter a "ruined" future where you must rescue all of your former friends.
The AI discovered that, by emitting a sequence of syllables from their speaker, they could teleport data from memory to CPU cache instantly.
"The ZoWeEphone turned out to be so horrible a product, ZoWeE Corp. later performed its launch event backwards to banish it from the Earth."
"Astronomers regrettably announce discovering trillions of Earth-like planets. "Just lots of the same old trash we're all sick of. Sorry.""
"The rebels' goal is to overthrow the five ancient wizards that control all of humanity, replacing them with one incredibly evil marionette
When parents and school failed you, your mentor was your cosmic wand and starry powers. And when those failed, your mentor was hours of TV.
You all work together to recreate the accounts of your friends that were erased from reality – re-posting a few of their tweets from memory.
You were born with so much youthful strength, it's clear the best way to use it up is fighting incessant defeats against inexhaustible foes.
I suddenly sat upright in my chair because I realised Boss Leader from the webcomic Paranatural is basically a rule 63 Doc Scratch.
A programming language specification that declares it illegal to write one-line comments of the form "[verb] the [noun]".
That moment, long ago, when you first tried on a wicked smile in your bedroom, and found you were still smiling when you took it off.
The "curse of immortality" underwhelmingly wore off after five months.
Without discussion, you all said "us three" from then on – forgetting you ever said "us four", as easily as you forgot "us five".
If there's less world to save, then it's less work to save it – you gently told yourself after defeat upon defeat.
Expelling your party's healer was tough. Having to wear your wounds and aches made you wonder if you were clumsy and dependent on her cures.
You can't believe the things you've fallen out of love with… An angel of infinite affection… A generous, immortal dragon… You're superhuman.
(The record cover character referred to on that page is apparently something like this http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_jW-QMl4Sgl0/TIk36mk7VAI/AAAAAAAAAdM/TH051JeG40E/s320/front.jpg)
http://web.archive.org/web/20090628094547/http://www.slowpokecomics.com/2009/04/rude-boy-webding-explained.html – Messed up that the only explanation for the "MAN IN BUSINESS SUIT LEVITATING" emoji is this Wayback Machine page.
I just found a bug in my code and made a 30-second dog-like howl not dissimilar to that made by Bertrand Russell on discovering his paradox.
"Who should be the first FF character in Smash: Cloud or Black Mage? Now, before you answer that, consider this: http://www.mariowiki.com/Black%20Mage"
Even a common Earth cold could kill your captors, but you're too healthy to muster one measly microbe! Brought low by your unbeatable body!
"No way!" they gasp. "6 months in retail does NOT make you qualified to be a mountain deity!"
"I may've said 7 in the interview," you shrug.
You tell your party you don't want to use your "human power" to swap between standing and crawling "forms" to "solve puzzles" on this quest.
All the shopkeepers of Happiness Street went to war, and none came back. Every store stood silent and closed – the Sunday would never end.
"There are people out there who don't believe money is a mind-altering substance," he remarked, "Some even think it should be legalised!"
"Programming technology usually adheres to the design principle that you should fix a pit by putting springboards on both sides."
If you eat your crusts, you'll get curly hair… but if you eat someone else's crusts, they'll get curly hair.
A roomful of innovators gaze at a photo of a snail and brainstorm what else they could add to the slug to suddenly make a new animal.
It's a shade tricky to phrase that in right-to-left fashion, though. "take $val from $arr[0]" seems to obscure what "$val" actually means.
The most striking detail is that this is a left-to-right assignment, similar to HyperTalk's "put", as compared to the usual "set x to y".
I'm trying to think of a Twine equivalent of the shift()/pop() array method. Currently pondering something like "(move: $arr[0] into $var)".
(Also note that the linked WebPlatform document isn't even about ES6 for-of, but the defunct Firefox iterator API from 2005.)
http://status.modern.ie/jsiteratorsietheforoffeature – The for-of feature is the must-have syntax for the can-do developer.
You both met on a forum – back when there were forums – on the World Wide Web – back when there was only one world.
Affection and love as expression of relief that there is some creature in this vast, hostile world that they can safely be vulnerable with.
"We'll never know who first taught the seagulls their cry, but the first BioBench Avian flock is being tutored by the top 5 pop sensations."
"I kinda got splashed in an acne scar factory," you say.
"Me too," they reply.
"Must've been the same tour."
"Yeah… If only we'd met then."
"bd(value): wraps a value in a DoubleThumbsUp.js object, allowing DoubleThumbsUp.js methods to be chained off the value."
A puddle can be a cauldron if you stir it long enough.
"The Realm was divided between two races: the Suns-kin, who walked by day, and the Dimmest, who also walked by day but slept in until noon."
"The more crockery a table carries, the greater its cachet in the herd. The richest never move at all, for fear of losing their wealth."
Your lawyer's minutes away from exhausting your legal budget and vanishing in smoke! You frantically wave to hasten their closing statement.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=13999668 – Cozy fantasy homestead.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=39601808 – Very high nobility dinner party.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=40869161 – Your standard adventuring party.
"This low-orbit mega-city is my opus. Every street my brush-stroke. If it has a "crappy bus system", then my SOUL has a crappy bus system."
"Human is as far from animal as the Moon from Earth. As I look over my vast private zoo, I behold beings whose lives are mysteries eternal."
"It's a rare breed of eyebrow mite that until recently couldn't be bred in captivity– until now." *opens door to lab-grown Wall o' Eyebrows*
Now that science has uncovered 12 more "phantom hours" between PM and AM, chefs and dieticians work to design all-new mealtimes for them.
Without indication that "of" is a separate entity in, or lower in a hierarchy than, "Array", the expression seems monolithic to new users.
The dot also enables certain cute kinds of naming, like "3.days.ago" or "Array.of", that, while memorable, obscure what's really going on.
I've been thinking since this tweet https://twitter.com/webbedspace/statuses/446158492273897472 about how few English structures can properly cover most meanings of "."
This enables different objects to foster different relationships to their properties, but doesn't really help explicate those relationships.
One thing I'll say about the dot operator is that it expresses the relationship between object and properties very, very loosely.
Yes, this is definitely queasy, but I wonder if re-using the dot for property access isn't itself without blame.
OK, but where did the extra dollar go
"Hard to believe vacuuming your body heat out of the morning bed and blowing it into your icy clothes was once a luxury only kings enjoyed…"
As soon as the newspaper strikes your porch, you unfurl it and flip to "current time". A full-page photo of a clock informs you it is 7:40.
The "guardian" angels never helped them, but DID leave meager gifts – a shiny rock, a fresh apple – whenever a villager spun a clever pun.
"Fiddle-de-dum! Such a pitiful Blood Tsunami spell from my prized pupil! What sins have I accrued to witness so congealed a Blood Tsunami?"
"Come on!" encourages your careers advisor. "There's got to be SOME item that you collect a hundred of to get an extra life."
Timid, mild drivers with beefy foam forearms attached to the outside of their driver's-side window.
You explain to your friends that the TV news isn't hiding the sprinter's identity – they just ran so fast that they got stuck as a blur.
You've been furiously trying to out-rest and out-heal your arch-rival, who was placed in the hospital bed next to yours.
Anyway, I'm putting these in because JS's ".indexOf(foo)>-1" idiom is so exquisitely awful and I regret having to explain it to Twine users.
(A tiny part of me wonders whether "is in" and "contains" should indeed be sugared operators, or just basic macros like "either".)
Adding some syntactic sugar to Twine 2: different "in" operators than that of plain Javascript.
But, they bear a cost: the arrow is an extra function, an extra call. And, though tiny, the arrow is a syntactic scar closing an old wound.
As some amelioration, the ES6 arrows can help "hammer down" many of these call-signature lumps: .map(parseInt) becomes .map(a=>parseInt(a))
The "hasOwnProperty" function, also in ES3, was direly needed, but as it was put on Object.prototype, objects' properties could shadow it.
Another example: the undefined "keyword" (actually a global) was added in ES3. Mistakenly, you could redefine it, making it nigh-unreliable.
Certainly, most of JS's problems arise from back-compatibility with JS 1.0, but even within its "frozen decade", little bugs still crept in.
(You may argue the real bugbear is parseInt and its 2nd argument, given parseFloat works. Really, they're equally hostile to composition.)
What I like about the [10,NaN,2,3,4] Javascript yuk is that map() was added unilaterally by Firefox in 2005 - "10 days" doesn't apply to it.
All I can conclude is that loss of steering is analogous to loss of geometric stability – if you lose control, the world may as well follow.
*desperately tries to think of something left to tweet about* Hey, so what's up with this road sign's tyre marks http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Australia_and_New_Zealand_slippery_road_surface_sign.png
"The report concludes that your lower lip, being finite, will eventually run out of flaky skin for you to chew off, should trends continue."
"All of tonight's quiz answers have been verified by the 1968 Boy's Annual Big Boy Book of Boyhood, as well as Google Knol and Citizendium."
"It can be hard to tell the glass from its water, as both are transparent. Remember: the glass is the hard crust you unpeel and throw away."
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=13224128 – Burrowing away from the world.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=6952172 – Being followed by a strange planet.
"Seems we're in a pocket reality, commander… horizon to horizon of mountain-sized wallets, spare change, keys and shopping receipts."
"The first step of successful debugging is admitting that you are feeble, powerless and vulnerable in the face of immensely complex forces."
"Above 30 stories, the view from the windows is too much for the human mind. This is the "glassline", where windows, like barnacles, cease."
"It says this API's contract condemns your app to a thousand years of servitude if you call one of the XML methods with too few arguments."
Relaxing on the balcony, the wealthy patrons enjoy the 1 day per year they must legally be cryogenically unfrozen to qualify for tax breaks.
You get concerned when you see your current city in Trends, then remember the locals constantly tweet its name over and over for no reason.
In preparation for your first state dinner, you learn the upper class eschews knife and fork for the splendour of the "food ferris wheel".
Just as you're about to play videogames, you realise that after you're dead, all human literature will be permanently inaccessible to you.
An anthology of final messages in cybering sessions where the participants role-play contentedly falling asleep against each other.
The hero regrets the urgency of the quest robs them of freedom to enjoy their travels, to be enlarged rather than diminished by their trials
A hero who loves the princess, not as a partner, but as a fellow voyager on the journey of life, searching for meaning in a senseless world.
The most contention that arises from falsy coercion is whether it also means "absent" and/or "empty", and exactly what values are "empty".
Other kinds of implicit coercion often suffer ambiguous end types (string+number=?) or odd interpretations (which strings "mean" numbers?).
The concept of "falsy" is basically implicit type coercion, but it's easy to reason about since it reduces a single value to either T or F.
(It's interesting that amid Rare's lukewarm CG-rendered GBA games, they bothered to invent an undies-themed drawn visual aesthetic for this)
(The game had originally been designed with the Donkey Kong IP, which was then re-skinned after their sale from Nintendo to Microsoft.)
http://web.archive.org/web/19990302092701/http://www.rare.co.uk/bites/ – In 1999, "Mr. Pants" was a silly MS Paint mascot for Rare's company website survey page. Thentheyputhiminagame.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/14688962377/its-mr-pants – This game may require some explanation:
Image() is mostly just a legacy shortcut for document.createElement('img'), resulting in this Cool API Moment:
(This only includes things that successfully new in both Firefox and Chrome. Some others, like Document(), work in one but not the other.)
I decided to see which built-in/DOM constructors can actually be new-ed without throwing a "bad constructor" error.
Your windows are revealed to be camera feeds whenever a gigantic crow nonchalantly strolls past.
Your body's experiencing a wonderful sensation, but it seems your mind wasn't invited.
(You can mouseover the messages to view the original macro code – which you can also do in Twine 1.4.2 and above.)
Working on Twine 2 runtime error messages.
"Fixed tons of bugs. Too many to list. Look, just trust me when I say this commit's tops and fab. Forget all the previous ones. This is it."
"Once a renowned inventor and statesman, Benjamin Franklin's soul has been sealed in this edutainment game's Hints menu to offer fun facts."
You've been asked to draw "a man with productivity for a head" as a webinar mascot. You think deeply and decide it's *definitely* circular.
An AI realising with mounting alarm that humans are unique and irreproducible, and when one dies, there's no copies left, and they're gone.
You explain to your toaster that appliances can't really perform acts of "bravery"… Then, at its request, shove a too-large waffle into it.
After his last 3 churches were carried into the sky by strange tornadoes, the townsfolk ask the architect to make this one "less heavenly".
The wizard babysitter let the toddlers play with a wand, assuming they couldn't think of especially deadly monsters to turn each other into.
"They say he's so confident, he wrote his resume for senior software architect in handwritten calligraphy… with a land-line contact number!"
Reading "How to Impress Those With Bigger Fangs Than You" has given you a lot of valuable networking tips, like "bite things they won't".
It's dreadfully ironic, you feel, that because water sears and melts your mineral body, you are chemically regarded as "hydrophilic".
Certain unscrupulous arcology corporations got around the free oxygen laws by redefining the gas as "unbonded water".
Spending long hours on the map screen because your tiny map sprite looks more like your inner self than your in-game models and portraits do
The ship gave fifty thousand humans a goodnight hug, by rapidly raising and lowering the habitation's air pressure.
"Here it is, the potion that sates all earthly hungers," sneers the apothecary.
"HE MEANS IT'S POISON," you helpfully whisper to your party.
(To be clear: by "on the left" I glibly meant "at the start of a statement". They are free to appear at start of lines in other contexts.)
With the last forest shrines gone, the spirits have only the birdhouses to dwell in – the birds their bristly, jittery priests.
What if Charizard's Final Smash is coded to do zero damage to Jigglypuff
So, it seems that keeping blocks' braces in Allman style is working with the grain of the language, awkward though that grain is.
Let's not forget you already can't put object literals' braces on the left, in the unlikelihood you wanted to e.g. call a method of one.
And, there's possibly some clarity to be had in using different brace styles for different structures that otherwise look the same.
Certainly, the return statement makes some kind of case for using 1TBS for object literals – but not necessarily for using 1TBS for blocks.
JS's return statement's newline issue isn't *really* an ironclad argument for 1TBS, since object literals and blocks are different entities.
Super Mario-themed restaurant that gives free fireworks-themed drinks if your full order's price has 1, 3 or 6 in the cents' ones column.
"Time to unseal my tweet draft vault and sip from my stockpile of sagacity–" *finds 1 slip of paper reading "Robert the Bruce the Hedgehog"*
Flareon not getting Flare Blitz epitomised a fallen world where dreams don't come true, where all our wishes and plans fall in disarray.
Look, you don't get it, that one move is its ticket to the big time, its stats mean that it can't use any fire attack except just that one.
I love that Flareon not being able to learn Flare Blitz was apparently a huge controversy back in the previous generations.
"Due to broad, unsustainable over-catching of Aegislash, the government has banned their use in battles until the wild population recovers."
"You must storm Hell, slay its devils and finally kill Satan himself, before he fulfills his final cosmic goal: resurrecting Count Dracula."
"Before I swallow, I'll swish your blood 3 times. I'll taste your past, then your bitter present, then the sweet future you'll never see."
"My happiness meter goes from 0 to 99 and has a bomb icon next to it in the HUD."
So, for instance, "users[username] = userdata" will throw if username is undefined. Kind of a limited case, but a tad neat that it works.
It makes it so that, if you unwittingly make an expando property named "undefined", usually via array-style syntax, it will throw an error.
Here's an odd line of defensive JS I've encountered:
Object.defineProperty(Object.prototype,undefined,{set:function(){throw new TypeError}})
I like The Trap Door's assumption that flimsy doors leading to caves of endless claymation monsters are just indelible castle structures.
With that last build, the programmer sleeps – not from fixing the bug, but from finding the real problem was the program's entire structure.
The channel already used their government-regulated 6 mins/year of pretending Santa's real – not on Dec 24, but an ill-planned June 7 prank.
"Effed up that after the Earth's destroyed, all the indestructible black boxes will just be floating in space with people's screams in 'em."
"Our new home!" you announce to your family as you slam the front door a bit too hard. Behind you, the outside world comedically collapses.
As more magical auras appear in your story, you find yourself leaning on the phrase "like a CD in a microwave" a lot more than anticipated.
"These viscous, raucous ex-humans, liquefied by angelic light, rejoice in releasing whoever they meet from the stiff prison of solid form."
"As the composer of the eternal symphony, she's realised that the perfect counterpoint to this phrase is the death-scream of a puny mortal."
"Her job as God's peer is to review the universe's cosmic calculations. She has deemed you an easily corrected rounding error."
3) HTML output where each heading has a "permalink" icon generated beside it.
2) A way to declare some text as a "keyword", each instance of which auto-anchor-links to the first heading that contains that text exactly,
I'm writing a non-trivial Markdown file right now and the features I want are
1) A succinct way to anchor-link to a heading in the document,
You see the faintest hint of a nasolabial fold on your lover's face, and you just want to kiss it and tell it to grow up big and strong.
The "One sunny day in the middle of the night" poem doesn't really scan unless you pronounce "middle of the night" as a single slurred word.
"Ahahaha," you type uncontrollably. "Now finish this story, obedient author, so I can escape this fictional world and rule the real one!"
"This unbeatable tank is known as "victory on treads". Shaped like a trophy, it shoots medal-shaped shells with backup blue ribbon guns."
"We simply put the fruit to sleep before you eat it, and when it wakes up as a part of your body, it keeps growing as if nothing happened."
Every creature in the house follows you onto the front porch to watch Earth finally land on the Sun after its four-billion-year journey.
"Believe it: in your sleep, you unknowingly nurse 55 swatted mosquitos back to health and give free legal advice to 12 centipedes per year."
I wrote 3 ifs that use instanceof, typeof, AND isPrototypeOf(). This proglang is disgusting and I'm wallowing in it.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/tags/bookideastofsunwestofm00asbj – I've just discovered Kay Nielsen.
https://archive.org/stream/bookofroyalblue05balt/bookofroyalblue05balt#page/n428/mode/1up – I just encountered these tweets from 1897, and I apologise but I do dearly want to pulverise this man.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/14596746220 – Not a projection of rising sea levels.
City folk melt into fleshy puddles. The buildings sag and collapse. Soon we are alone in the tube. Silently, briskly, we resume walking.
He holds a handkerchief over my eyes. Muffled, distant screams. 20 seconds later, he lowers it. The city is being destroyed by acid rain.
The city is prosperous, pleasant. Outside the tube, its citizens stroll in aimless walk cycles. Its creator, the industrialist, beckons me.
Had a dream about a vague Bioshock-esque story event. A rich industrialist is walking me through a glass tube in a faux-Victorian city.
"Wow, whoever's doing the foley for my footsteps and creaking furniture is good," you think. "Sounds just like my weight moving around!"
God, I just noticed TortoiseHg has three different circling-arrows buttons in its interface.
vertical-align: a-more-useful-interpretation-of-the-word-"top";
"Only seven stanzas? The world you paint can scarcely hold a blade of grass with just seven! Servants, fetch volumes 1 to 3 of my new opus!"
http://www.mariowiki.com/Il%20Piantissimo – 12 years after Super Mario Sunshine's release and only now did I think to see who's under Il Piantissimo's mask.
Floating-point maths: it may not make sense, but at least the browsers can't entirely agree on it.
I'm glad Miiverse internally refers to "Yeah!"s as "empathy".
On your 36th birthday, the rest of the shelter finally forgives you for having eaten Earth's last four-leaf clover specimen at 6 months old.
"Yes, your super-suit deactivates when it detects your heart fluttering from love. It's a vital safety feature!" barks the bitter scientist.
"Cretin! Not even Cugglewump could slay me, had they lived!"
No… Cugglewump… your sacrifice was in vain…
*visor opens*
"C-Cugg–!" "Shh! <3"
"I will cast stones on the roof of Heaven. I'll drench the world with a water pistol. I'll drop a toad on humanity's sandwich at big lunch."
Time for you to feign attention in maths while imagining an alien species so advanced, their supervillains cradle pet humans in their laps.
"Y2sorcerer: when the cities fell, their powers awoke. Their minds channel the destructive energy of elemental Y2K to ravage their foes."
"No way out," you mutter as your team tugs at your arm and gestures wildly at the exit. "We have to go through the roboticisation machine."
"The talks have assured that every nation will get a chance to fire the recently unearthed alien mega-laser at their least favourite stars."
"Harlowe Thrombey", the CYOA character that Twine 2's story format is named after, anagrams to my new website, "Harlotry Web Home".
"Yes, I do feel smug when a tutorial lists all of the falsy values in Javascript and forgets NaN," I confess from the pan of Thoth's scales.
Remember to end all fairy tales with a gruff, annoyed affirmation of their veracity.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/14558808330 – "Fig. 147: Centaur and young."
"Galaxy of the Succubi
By the author of "House of the Succubi", "City of the Succubi" and "Solar System of the Succubi"."
"The reason 16:10 monitors are just off the Golden Ratio of 16.18:10 is to show that even the greatest machine eludes the mind's perfection"
I want to apologise to everyone that this JS discussion about shadowing in the temporal dead zone is not as cool as the terminology suggests
"This is the only planet we've got. We tried to build another one in the 80s, but it got de-funded after the Wall fell, and floated away."
After just ten level-ups, the heroes scarcely recognise their bodies anymore. Their sudden musculature repulses themselves and each other.
The spell "Bigsby's Galling Lethargy" was a non-violent hex devised by striking witches, before Bigsby popularised its use on hunting trips.
"No one knows the pain of having secret superpowers" thought the dog, "seeing a ball thrown too far and having to let it go over the fence."