Leon's Microblog – June 2009

And it seems that this civilisation just gave up, accepted their collective mortality, and built their buildings and monuments pre-ruined!
Does the wind know that it tears up the plans of the clouds? That their every attempt to unite and civilise is dashed by each of its gusts?
The river was afflicted with backwards aging: warm brine on the mountaintop, and a glacier down by the ocean!
Arson through vegetable vampirism: infect a tree in the dead of night, and it will burst into flames as the dawn sunlight hits it.
Living in a castle of the air meant that, after rain, her home left a trail of airborne mud, dirtying the clean blue. She felt like a snail.
He sat down at the table and ate the brussels sprouts, which he had prepared himself. At last, I have become everything that I hate.
There's a lady who lives on the hill who walks and moves backwards, and in slow motion. I think she's "time-traveling by foot."
This device vacuums wounds and injuries off of allies, stores them in liquid form, and sprays them at foes... with gruesome results!
He had on the wall an elegant painting of a modern art gallery interior, its patrons gazing up at us as we, in turn, gazed down upon them.
For one minute, light escaped the black hole, revealing to the universe the tiny world of imprisoned castaways at its centre. But it passed.
Every few years or so, there comes a "gag minute" where, for 60 seconds, gravity is weakened and everyone's voices are high-pitched.
I gaze upon the droplets on the ceiling. They quiver with anticipation, longing to lose their grip on life and in one sweet moment F A L L.
Don't use mass teleportation to build a golf course, lest sea turtles emerge from your sand-traps and squat in front of the hole.
(But, of course, to the learned eye all forms of ecological injury are grave aesthetic tragedies.)
Coral bleaching: aesthetic insult heaped upon ecological injury!
Who else has pointed a torch into the night sky, sending forth photons into the darkness, to travel forever or to land on who-knows-where?
Most all axolotls are actually crying on the inside.
It's the noblest, most challenging Olympic sport of them all: the three-legged egg-and-spoon sackrace marathon!
The ocean rose over the island. Now only manmade structures emerge from the waves. People will think it an entirely manufactured landmark.
The winds and waters carry me farther and farther from home. Her letters take longer and longer to reach me.
The bottommost inch of a writing pencil is filled with hidden faerie gold, but nobody ever sharpens that far down.
I now have a personal home page. http://l.j-factor.com/ - where all of my disparite Internet identities cataclysmically collide.
A vampire's strength is purely supernatural, imposed on their weak, malnourished forms from without. For them to learn karate is ludicrous!
I just saw some raindrops that were very clearly wearing tiny parachutes. Wimps!
His UFO swooped down, knocked out the teens standing on the patch of grass where he'd got his first kiss, lifted the patch up, and flew off.
We've shifted to the geologic timescale, my boy! Behold with your unadorned eyes the dance of the continental plates!
The floaters in my left eye are tragically in love with the ones in my right. Little do they know that I see them together, united at last.
The 64th square would have more rice on it than the entire kingdom. But the "foolish" king let most of the grains tumble off the board. Ha!
Wild celery. Celery in the wild. The mere idea excites and confounds me.
Do dolphins ever peek out from below the surface, just to gaze at the stars?
When a coin dies, its soul is 'unflipped', and it watches as all of the good or bad decisions made by people flipping it are undone.
Idea: a precognitive videogame that forsees how many seconds you will play, and picks a song that is exactly that long as background music.
Today, give greetings to roofsharpeners, those fine fellows who sharpen skyscraper roofs so that they may scrape the skies more cleanly.
He released a boxful of snails onto the canvas, and their silvery trails were his brushstrokes.
July 12, 2121: the last blade of grass dies.
His most audacious hobby was to drive limousines off the top floor of his skyscraper, and catch them with a swooping military helicopter.
"What're you in for?" he mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. His new companion quietly replied: "Botany".
What is going on, she shouted, as roses poured from the giant planes, blasting apart the houses as they landed. How is this happening?!
No! Don't blow that dandelion clock! ...Great, now the entire hillside's on fire.
Oh, and she had dyed cyan hair. ...Cyan? It's a colour that only those under 30 can see.
I'm afraid that the toaster they use as a server is currently caught in an infinite loop - the launched toast lands right back in the slot.
Like a wave of ice, unending stillness spread across the planet. Things lost their motivation. Motion suddenly seemed ridiculous, frivolous.
Very few attempts have been made, conversely, to build a perpetual stillness machine. But just think, my boy, just think of the benefits!
It is a terrifying monstrosity that brings hayfever instead of hellfire. It is... the flower volcano! (Beware the petalclasmic flow.)
Current activity: listening to this - http://bit.ly/mo7WS - and appraising its worth.
An entire clockwork jungle, made from varnished wood and gears! One hundred and sixty-eight birds of paradise to herald each hour in a week!
Do clouds worship nebulas?
Have any of you ever seen a star getting struck by lightning?
Some of the stars tried to soar down and slip beneath the clouds, so that they could still shine upon Earth during the thunderstorm.
Scene: an eagle lands on an immense mountain and pecks it once. The mountain instantly disintegrates. Title: DAY ONE OF ETERNITY BEGINS NOW!
Coming up: one man's cunning plan to live to 100 by getting the world to switch from decimal to octal.
And then they sliced the planet Earth into cross-sections and spread them between two slices of hyper-bread.
Bees pollinate fire flowers, but they are set alight when they do so. The nectar lets them survive until their flight blows the fire out.
The previously mentioned work-in-progress technical demonstration has just been refined somewhat: http://bit.ly/ehZIM
An orb circling an orb circling an orb. Then he gently incremented a variable deep within them, and they drew wondrous patterns in the air.
As he rolled the fireball sprite between his fingers, he continued to be amazed, against his own rationality, that it did not burn him.
His player sprite suddenly appeared over the trees. It was all he could do to stop himself grabbing and repositioning it with his own hands.
"These hitboxes", he said, "are far too large and coarse!" And so they were sent tumbling to the floor with the screech of a sawtooth wave.
"You fool!" cried the Elder Game Maker. "You've made an unbreakable loop!" The river of pixels continued to flow from the television screen.
What is X? he thought. What is Y, and why is it 128? Someday he would learn all of these secrets. Someday, he would be a Game Maker.
My ceiling has influenza. It's covered in perspiration.
To make a perfect pair of scissors, one must find two steel blades that are deeply, truly in love with each other.
This is a work-in-progress technical demonstration of something or other: http://bit.ly/ehZIM (It obeys arrows and Z.)
In the dark waterless future, people put plastic fish in their glasses to maintain the illusion that it isn't a toxic abiotic substitute.
Weister Island: a coral atoll in the Pacific on which it is impossible to grow hair. A suitable prison for those with Samson-like powers?
Horatio: a white mouse whose body is completely indestructible. Can only be used during 1972-1981, his natural lifespan. #MagicalArtifact
The Repulsive Brolly: all Newtonian fluids that land on its surface are launched away at the same speed at which they hit. #MagicalArtifact
Perhaps if I set my clock forward, I'd go to bed earlier. Yes. Openly and knowingly lying to myself is the answer to self-control.
If all other communication systems fail, the space station will jettison to Earth one of two tin cans tied by a 350km long string.
In this modern day, genies can still be released by rubbing their imprisoning lamps, provided you defeat the attached retinal scanner first.
Stomped a parachuting alien pilot, only to be brought low by its mere common cold, against which I was helpless. #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
Using psycho-powers, I absorbed her mortal wounds into my body. So that she would live, I went to my final rest. #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
Tried to do a spin attack with my cape. Wrong videogame?! #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
Bit a gold scarab to check if it was really gold. But wait, they're poisonous? #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
The sticky bomb got stuck to my fingers. #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
Threw a rope, not noticing that it was tangled around my leg. #EmbarassingSpelunkyDeaths
Backdrop for a Game Maker game, again: http://bit.ly/4xikb #pixelsundays #foreshadowing
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