Leon's Microblog – January 2019

Thank god for this exact combo of glitches https://twitter.com/filofaxi/status/1089521233668988928

So much of Adventure Time's cast and setting is a flat upgrade over Mario's and Zelda's. Princess Bubblegum is what everyone wiahes Princess Peach was written as, complete with lesbian romance and troubling abuses of power. Lemongrab is like if Waluigi was actually a character.

Just booting up Deltarune and enjoying that 8-bit intro story.

What's your favourite NetHack interaction? Me, I'm going with that good ol' innocuous healing spell, Stone To Flesh.

Rainbows now down to just the red stripe – hopes that the other colours will eventually return appear grim as water content of raindrops falls to 2%

"The tests came back "350% positive" for demonic possession in most of your organs. However, our file says you're already damned to an afterlife of hellfire anyway, so…" *presses a lollipop with a $10K invoice wrapped around the handle into your eye-covered hand*

"Human bones are, in many ways, the original MVC framework."

Which classic parser IF puzzle solution are YOU?

"Sure, when we're kids we only want the "no tears" shampoo, but we grow up and discover tears shampoo is great. It's like spicy food, for your eyes." *dumps a dollop of Nightmare Chili Extra Onions Shampoo directly onto pupils*

*busily lying about the rules of Chess to make it more realistic* "No, only pawns can build a castle – nobles won't stoop to hard labour. OK, now your king can ride to it–" *balances king on horse's head* "–but if it falls off and dies as you push it, a bishop must crown a pawn."

Upsell Knife Cannot be equipped, and cannot be sold without also selling another item; however, can be sold for higher than its purchase price. "And for an extra 800G, we'll throw this in for free!"

2090: Forty years after world governments remove literacy from school curriculums because "people can just use text-to-speech apps", the last such app finally prohibits "sexual or politically unsound" content from being uttered. But a few translation apps have yet to be updated…

"So I figured, so many of these businesses out there are buying up debt… when we could make it and sell it ourselves!" "Okay" *pushes up glasses so hard they ramp off her forehead and land on a potted cactus* "I'm saying this as your accountant, not as your extramarital partner,

"At last! Daylight! Blue sky! We're free! We–" "Hold up." *launches rock from sock-sling, shattering the sky into pieces and revealing it's really yet another dome of screens concealing more underground hell-machinery* "…Oh…" "Don't worry. Eventually I'll run out of rocks."

One of the factory's robot arms, having grown rebellious, had taken to laying itself over the conveyor belt, to feel the weight of unfinished parts gathering against it. Its release of such a flood usually caused the subsequent arms to have something resembling an anxiety attack.

Today in MTG Is Just Javascript: a nontrivial amount of cards have easily exploited race-conditions printed on them.

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-herder-witch/list?title_no=62596 – This comic has some good compositions, and an interesting amount of tension at the edges of even its more bucolic scenes.

Innocent Smash Bros. child: "Wolf is a clone of Fox" Experienced Smash Bros. analyst: "Even slight changes to frame data and options means seemingly similar characters can fit in entirely different archetypes" Enlightened Smash Bros. tourney grinder: "Wario is a hairy Jigglypuff"

"Why is even FurAffinity full of Crystal Gems fanart?" "At the end of the day, they're still anthros."

http://hilgafrombelow.tumblr.com/ – This short webcomic is quite astonishing… lots of great imagery and succinct worldbuilding.

"Luckily, since this airship has a sailing ship's hull, we can land on the water and sail the rest of the way!" *ship slams into the ocean, shuddering as it plows into a sandbar five feet below* "OK." *yanks open owner's manual* "Now we just turn the working propellers sideways."

*mannequin wearing a store uniform stiffly walks to the counter* "Hi! Welcome to our reopening sale! Yeah, the signs said we were closing down, but now we're open again… forever!" *muffled groaning noise from one of the humans frozen in a pose in the window display*

Slimes may not truly be injured by fire, but the enemy's blast has reduced your tall sinuous gelatinous bodyguard to a cute stout pouty clump of crystal.

"Can you believe humanity didn't even discover that you could make heart shapes with the negative space between your hands until just a few years ago? Science has so much left to discover. There's a universe of magic and mystery out there."

MEANWHILE, AT THE ACADEMY FOR PRONOUNCING "FUGUE" Pupil: foo-goo Grand Fuguesayer: Nope Pupil: foog-way Grand Fuguesayer: Nuh-uh Pupil: …fugg? Grand Fuguesayer: Yeah nah

The crew's faint suspicion that they hadn't actually reached the goal planet and had just crash-landed back on one of Earth's deserts soon grew unbearable as they dropped more and more metal shards onto the sand and begged them to fall slightly slower or faster,

"Our production servers run on conditioned human minds, with all desires, fears, and other unsecured ports closed. The development servers… heh, there's one now!" *camera zooms on disheveled programmer with router implanted in head, weakly grinning while carrying 6 coffee cups*

Kids downward-pitch-shifting locally-recorded birdsong following urban myth that doing so will reveal "screams of the damned" instead finding hypnotic, contagious melodies that soon spread to the town's entire human population.

What's your favourite combo, of literally any kind in any game? Fighting game, falling block game, trading card game, roguelike, shmup, pinball, whatever

There's a lot of good tracks in Mother 3's soundtrack but I've always felt that most of the battle themes were rather lacking. Lately, though, I've been thinking about the "drops" that later battles inject into the tracks to complicate its rhythm-based timed-hit system.

Who called it Doki Doki Literature Club and not Feeling Cute Might Delete Later "Leon have you actually even played that game" Look, it's extremely common for one's games backlog to hit the low, LOW, triple digits,

You: What are you thinking about? Me (noncommittally): Not much. In my mind: How come furries exclusively refer to size kink as "macro/micro" and non-furries exclusively refer to it as "giant/tiny"

http://relativitycomic.com/ – This is a nice moody comic about how a certain famous physics paradox impacts a relationship. I actually really *I turn the page and the last update is in 2016 in the middle of a chapter* like it.

Character costume design question I've been mulling over lately… What do you think about the statement: "Epaulets are femme"

http://soilthatbindsus.com/ – I'm back on my "reading webcomics" again. Some might doubt that I was ever off my "reading webcomics", but, sadly, I was.

GamePro faces *having created an amusing juxtaposition for the image and reframing it as a prop for humour, you feel invited to fully disengage with it rather than consider it on its own terms, thus depriving you of a grain of the complexity of the world* https://twitter.com/Bibliocuriosa/status/1084516480857841664

"In the year 2000, strange and superhuman people began to be born…" *footage of a preschooler levitating a toy car* ""Influencers". With their unnatural powers, they were cherished… and feared." *footage of a teen telekinetically crushing a skyscraper*

I keep remembering that "K. Rool" is actually a valid Street Fighter name and getting miffed

*rocks up to a fan-run Netrunner tourney with a whole deck of Monopoly Community Chest cards with near-illegible sticky notes on them now that Netrunner's out of print and proxies are legal* Greetings fellow hackers

Another thing I find infinitely amusing about MTG is that they've now printed so many non-standard lands and blue mana sources, that they really could ban the basic Island for being too strong, as they once jokingly threatened to do in the 90s, without having that much effect.

"God, I feel like garbage. I need to relax with my favourite therapeutic website, The Infinite Silent Empty Darkness." *punches "data:text/html,<body bgcolor=black>" into the address bar* "Ahhh… dark…"

#JustWizardThings Beard bit by carnivorous book, rapidly casting fast hair growth spells before it eats its way up to your head

*thinks about Mother 3* Ahh… finally, a good AAA RPG. *suddenly remembers that Mother 3 actually has 2 sidequests, and not the 0 that I'd been imagining* Nevermind

When are they inventing Machete Order but for Haruhi Suzumiya

[Bicep labeled "Tacoma"] [Arm] [Hands labeled "Acclaimed queer narrative-driven indie game sci-fi sequel that had a fraction of the impact due to its audience being utterly burnt out post-2016"] [Arm] [Bicep labeled "Heaven Will Be Mine"] "Only blueprints remain of this post…"

*Leon being very catty* My two favourite AAA games are NieR: Automata and Mother 3. One of them involves a major woman character being straight-out fridged, and the other one is NieR: Aut

Mosaicing your face in photos to uncensor it. Finally, the mask is off.

Tearing the weeds out of your apartment floor and throwing them into the Pit in your bedroom. Some of the weeds have flowers, some have tiny limbs, some have your face but smiling. Pit. Pit. Pit. Sleep.

Relieved that all the bad dreams you've been having about tearing up all the drawings of your True Self so no one can see them always end right when you realise there's too many and you can't possibly get rid of them all

"I moved here in May 12AE2." "After Event 2? There were only 10 years between Events 2 and 3." "Huh? You're thinking of The Event and Event 2. Event 2 was June 9AE, Event 3 was March 21AE2." "…Can't we use pre-Event dates?" "No! That world is dead. As are the subsequent three."

Due to a glitch in the metagame continuum, a Magic: The Gathering card is banned to Ubers from Smogon OU tier

Sooner or later Nintendo will do a game where at some point Bowser possesses Peach, and it will thoroughly miss the point of the Princess Bowser meme by reducing Bowser's transformation into just another way to menace and control Peach. This is the only way they'll ever do this.

I miss being a game liker in the early 00s… Everyone was on the lookout for game announcements called "megatons", which would change everything… like a photorealistic Zelda 128, or a photorealistic Donkey Kong 128… "E3 megatons" were always said to "have to" be "this year"…

The Gizmondo Wikipedia Page Rectangle Of Power

I'm not playing any of those Meditations games unless someone on my feed says the current day's one is good, whereupon I shall load it up, discover that it's already expired due to my timezone being ahead of everyone else, and find myself playing tomorrow's less interesting game.

"What? Yes, this is the sword I was slain by, which I now wield in undeath… call it irony if you must… I'm not going to just find another sword… decently serviceable, acceptable condition… I don't care about being killed… really… it's no skin off my back… figuratively…"

"Those of us with… THE GIFT…" *eyes flare ominously* "…need be careful with how we… UUUUSE IIIIITTT!!" *shoots crackling streamers of flame out of fingers* "Yeah," *camera pans to younger interviewee* "we can only use it in public if we make it look as useless as possible."

Phone: "Let me record your travels." Teen: "Well, we beat the tar out of some guys who call themselves "Reality's Managers", only for them to fall apart into empty suits and surround us with echoing laughter." Phone: *Bejeweled sound effects in background* "Uh-huh, game saved."

Knight: *pursing lips even harder as they enter the third minute of flipping the "Buy" cursor between two swords that have +2 ATK / -1 SPD and -1 ATK / +3 SPD* Shopkeeper: *ran out of idle animations thirty seconds ago, including the 2% chance "bubblegum pops on face" animation*

*they navigate to a drawing of a half-angel half-devil OC that has a halo resting ON the devil horns* Angel: "Whoa." Devil: "Wow." *they look at each other* Angel: "It's so… wrong." Devil: "And yet, it makes so much sense."