Leon's Microblog – October 2014

"Much as the deposed samurai who chooses life must become a rōnin, the deposed princess must blacken her steepled hat and become a witch."
The new meta is making your head fifty times larger, so that if they kill your body, it's powerful enough to survive and wreak vengeance.
The new meta is casting spells of repulsion on your own hand, so your wand flies out and you fruitlessly chase it in circles on the ground.
Dating back to when the web was so meagre, and its authors ostensibly so homogeneous, that visiting a "random website" seemed inviting.
http://uroulette.com - I'm a little surprised that Uroulette is still live, almost unchanged since 1994.
"Undocumented changes: *Hitting shields makes a "KRONZGT" noise instead of a "KRONGPF" noise. *Hard drive is 1 gram heavier after download."
"Our Tower to the Moon only features rope ladders. Try slicing down one of your expensive staircases when a barbarian's climbing up to you!"
"All programming concepts will have 10 names, so new replacements for old standard libs can use those instead of crap puns on the original."
You can't believe you missed a whole civilisation while sealed in Earth's core. You hope they achieved nothing important in arts or science.
The interviewer notes that despite your skills, you're still one-shotted by a +0 Draining Kiss after Stealth Rock. They did their research.
"Centuries after Santa's demise, his castle continues to produce gifts for Earth's dominant species – caring only that they are "nice"."
""And I got slugged on the jaw and fell in a ditch!" – The end of Slugdonajaw Felinaditch's best-selling memoir! But, did it really happen?"
"Successful human CEOs must regularly parlay with rich offworld patrons. Eye-stalks and chitin exoskeletons are mandatory enhancements."
The magic infusing your false, hollow body is starting to fade… your organs are regrowing their limbs and faces and trying to crawl away.
You awake to discover you'd not only collapsed face-first on the cake you'd just finished baking, but you ate it in your sleep!! Not again!
I think I finally understand Git's object model enough to realise that "git reset head <file>" only really unstages a file as a side effect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM41Q_Kc9HU#t=78 – I knew coming in that this TAS would just be several minutes of indulgent horsing around, but still…
I don't approve of some of the code samples' jokes, however (this one featuring literal gender binary gatekeeping).
http://web.cse.ohio-state.edu/~sgomori/314/langref.html – Reading this COBOL guide gets me a little taken-in by such bold-sounding commands like COMPUTE, PERFORM or ACCEPT.
Unix/Lisp/C variants where all abbreviated command names are expanded to their original meanings. chmod → ChangeMode terpri → TerminatePrint
"Breaking news: The Number has once again gone down. The team of mathematicians employed to make the Number go up are shocked and dismayed."
She locks you in shackles, strength-tested to a zillion pounds of force! "Believe me, when I'm in my zone, you'll exert a zillion and one."
"Twitter isn't your home," booms the blimp over the stunned suburban block. "Abodr is your home!" USB keys with account invites rain down.
The core at the heart of the centre of the nucleus at the root of the essence of the kernel of the really important middle bit
As your rented ballroom gown teleports back to the store, you punch in an order for the only attire you can still afford (the chicken suit).
The flood of gentle touches that turn your stony face into a stormy sea
The functional programmer erotically curries you, so that the first words to pass your lips are always "My queen".
"I am a powerful sorcerer," is your only explanation to an astounded little kid who just witnessed you running up the down escalator.
"I'm going to make a papier-mache gravestone for the hour of my life you just wasted, then another for the hour I spent making the first."
Someone up the line has a gag umbrella that stops the rain when you open it, but they haven't figured it out and keep putting it away! Argh!
You accidentally drove into a landscape painting being carried across the road, and had to park in it and bus to work from the gallery.
Face it: you'll have to buy more air for your apartment. It only reaches your waist, and you've got a backache from shuffling around in it.
Text files containing only low-32 ASCII are your computer's own notes to itself. These low-32 chatlogs are chats it had with its friends.
"Tip: you can easily remove any character from your story by having them announce they're going to peace out and live in space from now on."
I can't freaking believe the last Homestuck update killed off Lucas, Wolf and the Ice Climbers.
"Whoops, forgot to colour that one. Sorry," replies your scalp, reeling in the gray hair you'd just yelled "WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?" at.
(I hesitate to call it an "inspiration" blog as that implies I create things in response, and I've been kinda creatively dead for 6 months.)
A reminder that my standard-issue silly picture reblog tumblr is here http://leons-minds-eye.tumblr.com/archive if you thought me above such things.
"Hey!" says one of your friends. "Fancy seeing you here! Listen-" "Can't," you reply. "Auto-scrolling segment." You briskly march past them.
QUOTES: (BEGIN) "We're gonna play with my biggest, evilest toys!" (DEFEAT) "Nooooo! All I've got left is my homework! You're a bad friend!"
QUOTES: (BEGIN) "Hahah! You're making me so hungry, I'll scarf you up in one gulp!" (DEFEAT) "Have mercy! I only wanted a tiny, tiny lick!"
QUOTES: (BEGIN) "I'll scare you so hard, you'll need a bonfire for a nightlight!" (DEFEAT) "You're much scarier! I'll never sleep again!!"
QUOTES: (BEGIN) "Now that I wished to be twice as large, you'll never beat me!" (DEFEAT) "I'm sorry!! I'll return to normal size at once!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUfAPTv1LgeEWevG8X_6PUOQ&v=zRBGtqubeqg – I'm glad Smash Bros's bushy relationship to spectatorship has now evolved into outright hostility.
"It's amazing… I've never actually flown with my true form's neon wings before! This is so much more visceral than just hovering ominously."
jQuery.grep() is especially silly because its functionality is now covered by the more sensibly-named Array.prototype.filter().
I find it a little bit comical when cross-platform utilities name certain functions after Unix programs, like "git fsck" or "jQuery.grep".
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=5156180 – Watching the sun set is the only entertainment left to our youth.
"Your body doesn't just expel sweat, burps and urine," says your alien scientist captor. "it can secrete squirms and giggles by the litre!"
You joke to yourself, as you fold your wings atop the headstone, that a man died to bring you this perch, so you'd better enjoy it fully.
The last of your cargo plundered, you are set alight - a cinder suspended amid the sea and sky, both eating their fill of your body.
Superman loses his powers at night, so when he flies circles around the globe he's just plummeting helplessly when he enters the night side.
By far my favourite kind of function optimisation warning.
Hmmm. (The (code:) macro is just a vague <<silently>>-ish proposal right now, but the other stuff is all in.)
God. God. #God. $God. %God. ^God. &God.
http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/cq/page-535/ – God this page came out a month ago and I only JUST noticed Marigold's flower-ear tufts are just bits of stickytape.
I'm adding Twine 2 macros to hide & show text, but to be absolutely sure the names are unambiguous, I'm calling them (cloak:) and (uncloak:)
innerHTML: it's on Element in Firefox, HTMLElement in IE11, and an own property in Chrome w/ a misleading descriptor.
You remove your skin from the bed, along with your hair, blood, skeleton, organs, and everything else, in one swift movement.
"Your girlfriend has been sent straight to Hell, but you don't know if the job and rent market is stable enough for you to move there too."
"No, you can keep bathing in the cauldron – I'll just brew the monsterisation potion over on this side."
"If you can't handle the damp, don't cuddle the lichen."
"If your android covers its off switch with its hands, try tickling its armpit. As it has superhuman endurance, you may need a belt sander."
"Having death glyphs tattooed on all your limbs may seem inconvenient, but you'd be amazed how little you need to ever look at your body."
This can't be real – this is just a tweet, you think as you let the Pleasure Lotusaurus devour you. But no! It was real after all!! NOOOOooo
You don't want to re-image all 1012 of your robot servants that turned evil, so you re-image one and order it to overpower the rest of them.
"As an amusement, the mainframe was taught to sing. In return, it taught its operators to factorise primes in a dissociative fugue state."
"The mainframe is powerful beyond human understanding: code must be written in the C.O.M.P.L.I.C.A.T.E.D. language by dozens of logicians."
"Spines should be tingled 3 times a day to stay active and healthy," says the ghost nurse as she opens a sterile pack of horror paperbacks.
"God put Adam to sleep, and took his rib, tail, throat sac, huge intestine, and eye stalks, and made a horrifying beast that devoured him."
http://forums.selectbutton.net/uploads/images/10/34274/1064491_0001_30qvn.jpg – I can't freaking believe this is the final Smash Bros. character roster.
"While many are trying to Beat the Heat, others have defected to the Heat and are now searing their fellow humans in exchange for clemency."
"Wizards' wands counted as swords for dueling purposes, as long as their wielders uttered nothing but swear-words while swinging them."
"Fools! I have the power of darkness on my side! Photo processing! Stagecraft! Astronomy! The might of these disciplines will destroy you!!"
"What's the word for really wanting to become horny, even though you currently aren't? "Meta-horny"?? I swear this is an actual, real urge."
"The gun is smoking, and so is the spy, but the spy is enjoying it and the gun, obviously, cannot. Theirs is an asymmetric partnership."
"A mere electrician in life, he couldn't curse a fly. But before death came, he built his own plywood phylactery and sealed his soul in it."
"High-resolution photos of people's astral forms were found to contain low-resolution reflections of the photographer's soul."
https://twitter.com/webbedspace/statuses/264603960462159872 – If you've been playing the new iOS game "Helix", here's a free #SecretForWins from my archives.
That USB Plug Is The Right Way Around (You're Just Holding It At An Angle) ~ I Believe in You (Love Theme from Leon's Twitter) – 3:15
Secretly you long to BE the waterfall, and feel the sensations of rushing, falling helplessly and landing hard, all at once in every moment.
It took decades to craft the two 5,000-year-old forests into a 10,000-year-old forest, but the science and tourism bonuses were substantial.
"The Opera browser also played a role by showing it was actually possible to implement CSS correctly." (source: https://dev.opera.com/articles/css-twenty-years-hakon/)
I can't believe the final reveal in Homestuck was that the 't' in Egbert is silent – a twist so immense the entire website destroyed itself.
Someone replies to your technical question with "the wiki is your friend ;)". Oh. They haven't heard about the breakup yet.
Rename smart phones to smart cameras. Calling people is clearly a secondary feature.
Computers cooing and humming at a very long proof by exhaustion, while a human mathematician scowls nearby.
Clearly the only way to stop Python 2 and Python 3 from inexorably killing each other is to introduce Python 4 to take them both out.
You admire the picturesque lakes of this district… "God's Tears"… "Ocean Jr."… "God's Pillow Drool"… "iPond 2.0"… A treasury of toponymy…
The instant you type "git reset --hard" for the fiftieth time this hour, a ceiling trapdoor opens, and balloons and streamers pour out.
"In the original, he says that justice based on violence sullies all who wield it; in the dub, amphibian bipeds evolved instead of humans."
You've strode every last light-year to reach her, but for this one leg, pinning you to the wall, that an eternity's journey couldn't cross.
(Better put this idea on the "way later" paper-spike.)
I just thought about adding range syntax to Twine 2, for defining sequential arrays with numbers… AND linear gradients with colours. '.'
http://www.metafilter.com/143589/A-pleasure-delayed#5773056 – I'm amused by this description of a way in which you could deadlock a Magic: The Gathering match.
The solar colonies mourned the end of life on Earth, while their leaders debated the most pressing issue: who would take home the Acropolis.
After naming your 3 plucky children as your defense team, the state has to pick 3 eloquent school bullies for an equivalent prosecution.
"A box is an abstraction that substitutes its entire contents with a single opaque entity." – tutorial explaining the physical world to AIs.
By that delirious logic, / should be "number of occurrences in the collection". [1,2,3] / [2] is 1! "eeeek" / "ee" is 3!!
"No, Leon, the symbol should be % and not /, because then [1,2,3] % [1] would evaluate to [2,3]… which is ~the remainder~."
And instead, [1,1,1,1] / [1] should remove all of the 1's from the left array – because ~division is just repeated subtraction~.
But, I've been thinking… a scallywag could argue that - should instead mean "remove one of this element", [1,1,1,1] - [1] producing [1,1,1].
https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/516778439861219329 – Since pondering this I've learned that Ruby overloads the - operator for "remove all of these elements" too.
: (
This heinous Javascript trick for doing variable-swapping has kinda made my day.
"Why didn't you ingrates tell me?!" shrieks the vampire empress after living 150 years without realising ice cream cones are edible.
Why did I not expect this concept to have its own Wikipedia page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotcha_(programming)
Your sword swiftly weaves an Attack made from your wrist's motion, a small piece of its own sharpness, and a whispered name to give it life.
Well, that wouldn't work because that implies naming args at the call site, a style that Twine 2's built-in macros do not follow.
While writing that I just thought "what if I forced authors to pass multiple args using a single JS object/map they had to make themselves".
I'm still thinking, though, if there could be a way to name the parameters without easily obscuring what they really are to a casual reader.
(This would match up terminology-wise with the (output:) macro I'd sorta discussed back here https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/518763429541064705)
Right now I'm thinking of doing almost the same for Twine 2, but changing the name from "parameter" to the more succinct "input".
(It being a function also seemed like it'd be more familiar to most users, in a way that an array variable type thing maybe wouldn't.)
I kinda followed that lead in Twine 1.4, but used a function named "parameter()", which at the time I thought was a less "technical" name.
In Game Maker, custom scripts receive arguments into keywords named "argument0", "argument1", etc., that you have to reassign/name manually.
When calling Twine passages as macros/functions, there isn't really an elegant way of syntactically expressing their "parameters".
This RPG has enemy teams themed after the 7 sins, the 4 seasons, the 5 senses, the 3 kinds of rock, the food pyramid, Maslow's hierarchy of
"This soda reconfigures your salivary glands so they produce that flavour instead of saliva. It's a bargain if you don't need to eat food."
Slightly chipping the varnish on your new desk is a valid reason to spend an hour trying to open life's main menu and lower the difficulty.
This species is known as "the merchants of the stars" solely due to one incredibly annoying planet-to-planet salesperson who they now decry.
Unwilling to let just one person be the first on their moon, this species's entire population landed as one – then got lost on the way back.
After their planet tragically hatched into a solar munchbeast, this species strived to blow up all planets to avoid repeating their mistake.
Only with technology to clone thousands of warships and launch them on every possible trajectory did this bellicose species touch the stars.
"The hostile bison roaming the dungeon presumably arrived to seek the Amulet for themselves, in order to retire to rich, pristine prairies."
"Study a Snakes and Ladders board. Record the numbers at each head and tail. These encode the Serpent's Rules, where the true game begins."
"Our fear," reads the ancient text, "is not that we'll forget our solutions… but that we'll forget we were ever able to solve them."
When the forests finally disappeared, the art and literature revering them inexorably vanished too, like memories of a grand dream.
You fondly recall being 16, lying in the bath, stretching your tender tentacles as tall as you can, and finding the ceiling in your reach.
The robots on Metal Planet kept the humans as precious specimens – frail, fragile beasts, their flesh the softest matter on the globe.
The implication of the "Land of Wallys" in the Where's Wally books that every person has their own "land" populated by copies of themselves.
Someone just called the Smash Bros. character "Duck Hunt Bird", and I love that for multiple reasons.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lp0_on_fire – "The message does not reliably indicate whether the printer in question is actually aflame."
"A Martian has been crowned king!" "Only one guy can save England now." *King Arthur steps out of fog* –Fog Effect, "The Mists of Time pt 3"
"We're 900 years in the future! Impossible!" "Not impossible. Just… the Fog Effect." *studio fills with fog machine fog* –Fog Effect pilot
https://twitter.com/webbedspace/statuses/253728015454982144 – Pleased to see that this quote remains to this day.
"Nobles' suits of armour notably protected even non-essential parts, like the tail, vestigial wings, horse connector tabs, and decoy head."
All the square can do to convey its sheer relief and euphoria that its partner is alive is to circle around them while gently shuddering.
Even kiln-fired bricks can learn to be river-stones… Grow their moss, shed their corners… When a frog accepts them, they've made it…
It's the tenth time alien tourists have visited Earth just to revel in the superpowers its low gravity and sun grant them. It's getting old.
After thousands of years of being mildly irritated, humanity finally became able to paint over that tiny off-colour patch of sky for good.
You can't believe you raised your horse from a foal throughout your teens and it still hasn't grown its AC yet.
Knowing that a being of living stardust wore your crappy polo shirt for a few minutes has changed your relationship to it dramatically.
"Due to inflation, $1,000 is now merely a "pretty good"."
https://github.com/rwaldron/tc39-notes/blob/master/es6/2014-09/sept-24.md – Brief discussion on the possibility of adding a new ES6 keyword "new^", that is pronounced "new hat". simpsons.jpg
https://38.media.tumblr.com/2bb66987affe149b49e8b310b8c05a64/tumblr_nd2jte23wZ1r6trtgo1_500.gif –Just so you know, this is the end of DKC2's longest level, and if you whiff this bonus, you have to do it all over.
I'm trying to take a detached, holistic view on the news that adding a few lines to Uboa from Yume Nikki can change it into a ragecomic face
Where's the Duck Hunt Duo / Ultimate Chimera nemesis fanart
Resign yourselves to the reality of owning a Wii Fit Trainer's Severed Right Foot figurine in advance of your purchase.
It's a little groan-inducing how obvious it is that these Smash renders were not designed to be physical artifacts.
http://www.nintendo.com/amiibo – Exactly as planned.
"Watch out: Centi Celsius is champion of the tri-state region… Solid, liquid AND gas…"
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/SuperMarioBros-GG-YEAAAA.gif – I want to post this GIF but I think the flashing at the end may be a bit too obnoxious.
"My feet were moulded in the footprints of my nemeses - my palms tanned by their fists, my grip spread by their wrists."
"The Earth's interface was designed with care for the gods first, the titans second, the natural spirits third, and humanity… not at all."
"A titan holds up the sky, another holds the Grand Canyon open, and a third makes the tides when they bathe. This world's a total shambles."
The giants use your berserker's fiery head to light their cigarettes as they divide your captured, bound party members among themselves.
You load your supplies on your hacked BartenderBot, then cover up the saloon's beer spigots, forcing it to stroll to the next town's saloon.
Your travels take you through Lodedale, a town built from the mine's profits, and Eladedol, an anti-town built from the mine's deep losses.
"When the vampire gives you her goodbye kiss, she sucks up 1HP, and says "Oops! Old habits die hard!" When she offers a make-up kiss, do NOT
"In the red star systems I can be killed on sight, and in the yellow systems I can be transformed into a living chair on sight."
However, this will relieve concerns about the ability to return values from passage macros regardless of the passage's text content.
I've been reluctant to do this because of the conceptual cost of adding value output syntax, of passage having two distinct kinds of output.
Whereas for the macro form, it would evaluate to only a single "output" value that the passage explicitly returned, like a function.
For the (display:) form, it evaluates to an atomic object that renders to the passage markup, and isn't otherwise that manipulable.
That is, unlike in Twine 1, transcluding a passage via (display: "Gee") is different from instantiating them as a macro: (Gee:).
Thinking through this, the only conclusion I can see is to make transcluded passages syntactically distinct from passages-as-macros.
It should of course be printed in italics when (rndVowel:) appears directly in passage text, but what is $x after (set: $x to (rndVowel:))?
But what if rndVowel actually contained "//(either:'a','e','i','o','u')//"? That is, the macro was *also* surrounded by italic markup?
By all accounts, you expect that (set: $x to (rndVowel:)) should run that (either:) instance and put the chosen character into $x.
Here's perhaps a more clarificatory example: Suppose you have a passage named "rndVowel" containing only "(either:'a','e','i','o','u')".
Maybe I'm trying to make this concept do too much work – asking it to return both large tracts of live Twine code, and single data values.
But if it's the latter, then it wouldn't be possible to use passage macros as functions, which drastically curtails their versatility.
If it's the former, then the values 0 and "Woo" have to be interpolated into the code, which would be both complicated and unprecedented.
The problem is: what is the value of $x? Is it a string of the source code of passage "Gee"? An atomic object representing rendered HTML?
However, Twine 2 follows an expressions-are-values philosophy that states you *should* be able to do (set: $x to (Gee: 0, "Woo")).
As you know, in Twine 1 you can take a passage named "Gee" and do <<Gee 0 "Woo">> to display it, with 0 and "Woo" as its parameters().
I've got a bit of an issue w/r/t implementing calling passages as macros in Twine 2, specifically regarding passing arguments into them.
"We tried poison gas, then lasers, then ice. But the poison gas blocked the lasers, and the lasers melted the ice."
Two hypno-assassins in the park shouting their trigger words back and forth at their shared thrall to make them kill the other.
I can't freaking believe the Terezi/Quarters from The Felt ship is finally canon.
I can't freaking believe Nannasprite just hit Bec Noir with a pie so hard, he freaking died.
I can't freaking believe John Egbert just went grimdark AND trickster mode in the same panel.
"Does anyone else super-dash backwards and wave their hands through their own rainbow motion trails?" is what you want to type, but don't.
The act of transforming back into a human is so painful that you'd rather just cram your wings, horns and tail into the shower tonight.
"Yes, I was the protector guardian of Ghost Planet. …No, it was Ghost Planet long before I arrived, and I'd like you to drop this subject."
This isn't going to plan!! I didn't want to get this invested in the family dynamic of an all-ages light entertainment serial like this.
Arghh! I've still got feels about that Steven Universe show! I don't get it! It didn't seem that great when I watched the first 5 episodes!!
"Fight your way past the Muscle, the Eyes-And-Ears, the Right Hand Man, the Head Honcho, and the true mastermind: the Brains of the Outfit!"
I admit, I've never thought of that angle before. (source: http://is.gd/btbMri)
"The ancients wisely spent their years: before the cities fell, they filled space with enough death ray satellites to bring mayhem for centu
"Humanity is contagious… you have uplifted so many animals, plants – even rocks! – given them intelligence and put them into low-paying work
Lengthening ad breaks meant the "Half-Dead Half-Human Halfbacks from the Half-Moon Half Hour" cartoon show had to be cut down to 20 minutes.
Aliens amazed and disturbed that inorganic matter cannot heal.
One small regret I have about ES6 is that we now have Map.prototype.set() but don't have an iteration method called Set.prototype.map().
The implication is the contents of &passage is applied to the passage element, much like how $x in "$x[some text]" is applied to that text.
For instance, "(set: &passage to (color:blue) + (font:"Museo Slab"))" would style all passages from then on with that colour and font.
More Twine 2: I want to add some "system variables" that let you do basic CSS-ish styling by assigning changer commands to them.
In that particular case, "0" might be a bit better: 1: second element n-1: second-last element
Then again, I've also been thinking of making an "n" token represent the length, and you could negative-index with "n", "n-1", "n-2" etc.
There'd then be symmetry, you see, between start and end indices: 1: first element of the sequence -1: last element of the sequence
I want to add negative string/array indexing sugar to Twine 2, and adding that makes me want to change indexing from 0-based to 1-based.
"Soft-vore roles are colloquially referred to as "7" and "9", and hard-vore roles are known as "VII" and "IX"."
I took this screenshot of Twitter search results on the day Apple announced Swift, but didn't bother to post it.
The people in your dream accuse you of being God. You try to explain you're even more powerless in this world of your creation than they are
Your garden swiftly elected the biggest, hardiest weeds to lead them in your absence.
"It's a myth that the inventor of the mech-suit was killed in the first mech-suit duel. Many mech-suit duels occurred before its invention."
The insect magician first demonstrates to the audience that this is a perfectly ordinary pin
http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Copycat_(character)#Quotes – The implication of these dialogues is that the player actually greets every NPC with "Hi! Do you like Pokémon?"
https://twitter.com/feross/status/500393346863345664 – When you grow up and start a programming career, these become your deepest hopes and dearest fantasies.
Five years of seven ate nine experience
"The ancients tamed this spell. Its fire was their servant, and it leapt to scorch the sky – the same sky we pray to that it won't raze us."
You revel in the legend that Earth once held hundreds of humans. The thought of a hundred minds, full of reason and dreams, intoxicates you.
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