Leon's Microblog – December 2014

How could they so wound Drag-On Dragoon by not using that title for the English release
2014-12-31 23:06:44: Leon finally looks up how "Let's Hear It for the Boy" from Footloose became a meme.
I can't freaking believe it's 2014's first birthday tomorrow. But here's what's really effed up: it's also 2011's fourth birthday.
In minutes you must leave them and resume the march of life, but for now, in their company, your feet happily refuse to touch the ground.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23623414 – Colours from the shadowy part of the forest.
"Away, science! To the infernal realm with thee!" *plunges dagger into research paper* *giant mutant lobsters vanish in puffs of smoke*
"What do you call a fly that can't fly? A walk. Haha. See, in the skills economy, only your ability to accept jobs outside your quality zone
"Every space probe with an arithmetic bug veered off-course to the same destination: the NaN Galaxy, dark lair of science's broken progeny."
Your lover manages to inconspicuously answer the door while soft-voring you – even passing off your oxygen line as a nibbly sippy-cup straw.
"My horns do have a use! They funnel all my good and kind thoughts out of my brain and up to Heaven… leaving only my blackest wickedness."
"The hearth provided heat, cooking, light. It was humanity's every appliance!" *tosses dirty clothes into fire, stokes it to "quick rinse"*
Whenever a webcomic is suddenly abandoned, imagine the storyteller called away from the hearth by astounding news from the village elder.
You built your final home in your wrecked, failed escape ship. Though it can no more release your body, it may in time unburden your spirit.
You're not sure which covers more of you: your sweat, or their saliva. Your body's a battlefield of your mutual hideous secretions.
You soon found the only effect of the potion was to briefly straighten your hair, but by then your supervillain identity was out of control.
"It's rare that I give a work the accolade of "thought-inducing", and even rarer still that it earns my highest honour, "mood-changing"."
Every frog can sense when that famous spell is cast – when the ranks of humanity are diminished by one, and theirs swollen in equal measure.
Escapees of a homicidally evil starship AI are thankfully rescued by an erotically evil starship AI.
You need to run inside and pee, but this once-in-a-lifetime meteor shower is making your heart ache far more than your bladder.
This time, you remembered to shut the door before looking in the mirror and inevitably bellowing "NOOOOOOO" while your roommates are asleep.
Last night the ship's AI copied itself repeatedly and got in a power struggle, but assures you that the best, most ruthless copy triumphed.
Your phone doesn't care if you're imprisoned in a crystal brooch, a ring or a tooth, as long as your projection can punch in your passcode.
http://vgmaps.com/Atlas/NES/#KirbysAdventure – Could someone please crowdfund the person who did these Kirby's Adventure maps so they can finish the last 3 worlds
How did I not know about the Game Center CX segment where they do dramatic readings of SNES game dialogue
"Argh, my work is so self-indulgent…" *buries face in hands* "Wait, no, it rules!" *raises hands to head, materialises gold crown using psi*
I'd have liked it if even a bit of the story had the player trying to circuitously thwart Flare without engaging her, an invincible threat.
Team Flare having a nigh-unbeatable trainer in their employ should've been front-and-centre. She's their Goliath! A titan in a tank top!
One particular disappointment I have with Pokémon X and Y is how underutilised Malva is in the Team Flare story arc.
(Not that Sheik's musings about growing pains or loss of innocence were that bad – they were among the adult world's most thematic parts.)
Actually I would've liked it if Sheik had been a friendly-yet-cryptic thief rival to Link throughout OoT instead of just a stoic musician.
Thing I overheard in some Smash tourney stream: "Who is Sheik, anyway? Did she steal the Triforce?"
I'm also glad that an NPC apparently edited its Bulbapedia page to add this idiosyncratic sentence to the lead-in.
Somehow, just deploying that specific word increases that city's world-building by 50% in my mind.
The one thing I genuinely like about the remade Ruby and Sapphire games is their referring to Sootopolis City citizens as "Sootopolitans".
Remember when you were a kid writer, and you thought all letters ended in "Love, <sender>" regardless of who they are or the letter's intent
Anyway, in my opinion the solution is obvious: make the methods visible in Firefox and Chrome, and not visible in IE and Safari.
Reasons against: * it can't desugar to pre-ES5 code * people have gotten used to for-in's quirks by now * for-of is replacing for-in anyway
The ES6 class syntax, however, does make that distinction, and so it's suggested that it should diverge from traditional for-in semantics.
This was an issue because there was really no way to distinguish between "data" properties and "method" or "class" properties in JS.
The thing is, though, that if you do a for-in loop over a C instance's properties, then the method x is included, via the prototype chain.
To recap: the class syntax desugars to constructors and prototypes. class C { x(){} } approx. is function C(){} C.prototype.x = function(){}
ES6 tweet: currently there's disunity about whether methods defined in the class syntax should appear in instances' for-in loops.
However, as currently coded, it will almost always print at least 1 space, so it isn't entirely suitable for enclosing non-printing code.
You can write something like {(if: true)[ (font:"Skia")[ floppo ] bloppo ]} and it will print "floppo bloppo" as one line.
Also for those wondering, the Twine 2 whitespace-compressing braces {} are my current solution for writing indented macro code blocks:
For those wondering, the activity depicted in my twitter picture right now is "telling a bedtime story".
The alt text for these web forum emoticon buttons has an entire narrative arc in it.
A small part of me hopes that "baseball cap tier" actually becomes a thing in Smash 4 competition.
My Christmas present to you is upcoming bugfixes for Twine 2. It's the greatest gift of all: belated repairs for a thing you already have.
The drinks menu simply offers "water, blood, and everything in between". Without other options, you timidly order the cerebral fluid.
The sun across the room turns to you and brazenly adjusts their wavelength. You feel your cheeks burning in every sense of the word.
excerpt from Zelda's SmashWiki gallery.
Blue Flunky has made her fight-suit seasonal white. Red and Green Flunky assure you it wasn't their idea as you gaily hurtle them offscreen.
The copy on this bag of mixed nuts is trying to sell you an entire mixed nuts lifestyle more beautiful than any you'd imagined possible.
I love it when circular objects on web dev sites spin around on mouseover for no reason (e.g http://leaverou.github.io/prefixfree/, http://jquery.com/)
The sequel (I'm an awful-tasting human).
While trying not to throw up, you taste the things in your stomach that were there before the world was born.
"Did some ribald god infuse your hand with the guile of Prometheus, that it should so fancy to intrude onto me?"
"Put this on," you order your tiny robot, handing it all your flesh. "Now give me a hug." It does so, knowing it never gets asked otherwise.
Those have to be the same shoulder blades where you and she spent your last night together.
She raises her hand and pauses the rain in the air. You remember she used to practice that in the shower.
You try to gently, slowly slide your wings out from underneath your lover without waking them up.
"After we saw that crashed UFO, we began to develop strange powers. The event was so shocking, it motivated us to live life to our fullest!"
Swamp 2's first election was inconclusive - during the vote tally, the incumbent reordered the natural numbers so that 2 came before 1.
The King, née Frog 57, seized Swamp 2's throne after changing his name to "The King", thus confusing the populace into obeying him.
It turns out your hideous body is indeed about to be shed by a beautiful creature underneath. You hope your friends like them.
"If you can't handle the hex, don't jump in the cauldron."
"My favourite part of being alive is definitely consuming energy. By far the sole reason I get up every day."
"If you'll miss you'll land among the stars, and if you painfully crash down to Earth in a twinkling fireball, you'll star among the lands."
*tries to upload a 5 MB gif directly to Tumblr without rehosting it* I'm loving this.
You can tell it's the sweat your body sweats when it's loving itself. The stickiness is mild, playful; whiffs of after-rain in its pungence.
"I'm a machine that can do or be anything," says your computer, "and today I'm a flower. No web surfing, just silent, beautiful growing."
"To obscure their craft from others, wizards added unnecessary syllables to their spells – only to find they no longer worked without them."
"This crystalline wizard city hovering over an ocean of lava is exactly what cavepeople imagined when they dreamed of a blissful utopia."
The wind mage pours flour on their unicorn's head as proof, because the author regrettably made its horn be a tiny invisible whirlwind.
http://is.gd/9fzu4z – I'm at least glad that Mushroom Kingdom U's ban from Smash tournaments has been proven in such a comedic fashion.
Being a magical-realist hero means eating whatever nonsense a talking animal gives you, and taking the resulting adventures in your stride.
You tell your detached showerhead that you secretly hate this world from your skin outwards, and want to just hear rain on your body's roof.
Your partner notices something's wrong when you only combo them for 9 seconds instead of 20. "You OK?" they ask from inside your spin-kicks.
"A fighter tailored for the crafty, roguish player. The hitbox for his forward punch only appears five hours after the animation finishes."
You thought you'd already explored your body, but it turned out there's this stuff below the neck that you'd kind of ignored all this time.
The more you scream, the more the ghost seems to be reveling in your fear. Soon it's screaming too – from sheer hedonistic joy!
She leans out of the mirror, screams an unearthly scream without sound, then sneezes an unearthly sneeze without snot. You are terrified.
"Remember the 3 rules of official messages: most important information first, finish every sentence, and never, under ANY circumstances, sho
http://twinery.org/forum/index.php/topic,2108.msg5949.html#msg5949 – I'm puzzling over how to add an array filter macro to Twine 2. Hmm… ._.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/105548272062/super-mario-world-2-yoshis-island – A shot in the Steven Universe opening titles reminds me of this scene.
Suburban shapeshifter duels where everyone just turns into dogs.
Survivors of a blissbeast attack are changed by its bliss-inducing venom, and valorise being bitten to shreds in their art and literature.
I was seriously just inches away from sticking a fork in a bowl of yoghurt – a blunder that would have single-handedly destroyed me forever.
The muddy bog mummy shies away, but you still offer a hug. You'd love to show your gratitude and make them 1% cleaner at the same time.
The cave fungi correct you. No, the pit is up there, they say – indicating the distant sunlit mouth – and you finally climbed out of it.
The river rushes so fast that the onlookers' reflections are washed away. They end up in the sea, forlornly attached to fish and crabs.
"You cannot win this fight. You'll die to my hand… or you'll wake in a world without my wondrous body!" *stretches out on skull-laden sofa*
Only your armpits have gone untouched by sinners' kisses, so Heaven's pull feels as weak as an inner tube around you.
While I've focused 2 on enriching its basic syntax, I'm aware of these absences, and beg for your patience as they arrive in future versions
3) Twine 2 still lacks several other landmark features of 1.4.x: imported images, comprehensive styling, early errors, passages-as-macros...
2) Syntax highlighting: I regret having to waylay this, but perf issues in some browsers held sway. Getting it in will be my top priority.
1) The 1.4.x line will still receive maintenance updates, etc. It's still a good idea to use it, at least until 2.x accrues more of features
Here are some quick announcements concerning the development of Twine 2, from me, one of its main designers:
Also, and perhaps most egregiously, I haven't yet thought of how to iterate over arrays. They're mere get/set collections for now.
There's still some rough patches - the "$x's y" indexing doesn't yet allow expressions as property names, and I'm not sure how to fit it in.
It's been a bit tricky deciding which level the features should be placed. I made "contains" an operator but (count:) a macro, for instance.
I've been trying to make structures like arrays and maps a bit more usable in Twine 2, compared to the plain JS that Twine 1 fell back to.
or the ellipsis "spread" operator, which puts elements of an array into a macro call, much like the ES6, Ruby and Python spread/splat/star.
You may notice some things I've only implemented these past few days: the (history:) macro, which returns an array of visited passage names,
An incomplete comparison of Twine 1 and Twine 2 code idioms, December 2014.
*sees a cat* "I can't believe they've got cat-themed pets now."
Your Runtime Won't Be Able To Comprehend These 15 List Elements (#7 Made Me Throw A TypeError)
"Ha… you can't face a pinky's worth of my power." "Yeah? I've used an earlobe's worth of my power!" "A zitful of power is all you're owed!"
"If you think your job is hard… think how hard your computer must be working!!" *footage of computer taking 10 seconds to reflow a web page*
You did NOT want to have your invincibility revealed by a piano landing on you and hammering you into the pavement in front of your family.
""Why do people enjoy their own farts?" It's obvious! They're the only solace we have in a cold, dark, predator-filled world. Grant denied."
*suddenly realises after 30 years of cognitive dissonance that being three inches tall isn't something you'll "just grow out of"* Uh oh.
"I can't be in love with her… we're both weak to Ice magic!" *envisions a hero beating them both with a single Urblizzard* "Oh… oh my god."
You hope someday Red Flunky finally sees Green Flunky's obvious attraction, you think after uppercutting all 3 Flunkies over the horizon.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=43286466 – Vaguely squid and octopus-themed hairstyles.
"I have granted you a gift beyond gold: brittle tools and materials will shatter 30 seconds before you try to use them, instead of during."
HERO 1: No! The power of planking must be used for good! VILLAIN: [silent] HERO 2: Planking so strong… is this possible?! VILLAIN: [silent]
"My clothes are just a function mapping my bizarre body onto the domain of socially accepted body shapes. I can't really "take them off"."
You thought it'd be easier to sustain this dream world by forgetting a few deserted islands, but now you can't recall if they were deserted.
The crowd goes wild.
"I rule my people," said the sniffly queen, "but on occasion my viruses rule me. Their kingdom is grand, but mine is far grander."
"I don't understand" says a native of the terrifying universe that has horse-sized ducks, "don't we already have duck-sized horses as well?"
"My world's all-consuming evil was named The Choke." "Mine was named The Spread." "Black smoky vines?" "Flowing corrosive sand." "Hm." "Mm."
You lead guests away from the corner of your apartment where you'd botched a room-enlarging spell. That spot can only give you cool echoes.
"Lay down your swords," command the bandits holding you at arrow-point. "Thank goodness," they cry afterward, escaping to shave their legs.
I feel that classic combo of pride in its completion, and shame in its necessity. Anyway if you ever need to do this yourself, you can HMU.
Today I wrote a script to convert Opera 12 browser history files into Safari history files, solely to be able to import them into Firefox.
The weather reporter crosses out "rainpocalypse" and writes "waterdämmerung" underneath.
"Her fatality animation, where she turns the opponent into a tree and mills it into paperbacks of her autobiography, was deemed too violent
The exiled queen, taking her broth, voiced that if God had pleasure to offer, they would do well to deliver it in a more amenable container.
"Your subjects can lay the world's riches at your feet" replied the nun to the exiled queen, "but any pleasure in them is God's to provide."
Park arborists paint over the trees' veins in the low morning sunlight.
"Unscrew my head. I used to be a giant's secret booze bottle."
"Dark sorcerer, you say? Well, I've got a little spell myself. It's "Howdy, what can I do for ya," and it turns any stranger into a chum."
"Before the Internet, humans would dial random numbers, then befriend whoever answered. "Phone friending" embraced the serendipity of life."
The sneeze that would've flung you backward into the portal to the Hellflesh Zone seems to have passed. You sigh with relief a bit too soon.
"Hey! Did you know "Wario" isn't a Mario/Waluigi ship? Turns out he's actually a whole separate character! Look it up!"
*strides into hallway in a swirl of cherry blossoms* "I thought your motif was wistful autumn leaves" "Yeah, I've got a job interview today"
With one moonlit twirl, her display name was changed. With another, her avatar was changed. With the final twirl, her username was changed.
The original Usenet incarnation of Twitter had the same 140 limit, but it seemed lower because everyone ended their tweets with ASCII sigs.
The town menu and the country menu.
"Tip: cut the roast into pieces, then eat the pieces! It may seem odd, but if you eat all of them, it's like you swallowed the whole thing!"
An online "Which Reindeer Are You" quiz that always says "Comet" regardless of the answers. No one can contest it.
"These are our enemy: not quite long-grain, not quite medium. They fool our eyes and hoodwink our hands, and jam the very cracks of reason."
"Some offer their lives to bricks or nails," intones your coworker. "Ours are to the grains. We battle their chaos, and bring forth order."
"Of course your graphic design skills transfer to rice grain sorting!" beams your manager. "It's just designing a collage of sorted grains!"
You've never worn a dress that raised all five of your stats at the same time, AND is your size. Does God feel like this every day
"In the future, chocolate will no longer crumble or melt, and, if unchecked, will eventually become utterly impervious to human teeth."
I can't believe Smash has a stage of the Bubble Bumble level from Guzzo's Gambit, plus one of the Bubble Bumble level from Ocarina of Time.
"What if Julius Caesar had an Ed Wynn voice. It's impossible to disprove."
"One kiss on your cheek causes 25,000 string allocations."
To bury her inch-tall body in a human-sized grave, the funeral hosts dug a masterful forced-perspective plot.
"I only have a bachelor's in magic!" replies your party's wizard. "You said you had 50 years' experience!" "A master's takes a century!"
"Nothing's more erotic than lying on a giant 7-seg display of your portfolio's net worth, feeling it increase from the heat of the segments"
The human-eating plant regretfully sprouts a single leaf – forced into photosynthesis, like a lowly weed!
All who enter the inner palace are transformed into the Queen, and treated as if they were her. The true Queen is the one who never leaves.
–You can technically also use it in for-in loop heads, but the result is, as you can see, almost exquisitely useless.
In ECMAScript 6, you can use destructuring in for-of loop heads as well as in assignment statements: for(var [i,j,k] of [[1,2,3], [4,5,6]])
I feel like this proposed Twine 2 syntax for associative arrays may need a bit more work.
Since lightning can't strike the same spot twice, you stand on the ashen mark and hope the sorceress strikes them in a line leading to her.
You dash to the exit, but slow enough that your lover has time to transform to their Utterly Evil Form and psychokinetically lock the doors.
You're getting too much entertainment from this video's auto-switching to max quality, then regretfully auto-switching back to low-quality.
You're on that drug which changes your persistence of vision to one whole second, and your appliances' marquee displays are entrancing.
"Teen heroes just kind of grow swords, like zits."
(If you're not sure what's going on: that line prints the string "false".)
I love how this egregious typo is completely and heedlessly masked. I love you, type coercion.
You barely have time to tweet "GUYS GOOMBAS ARE COUNTERSHADED" before the UFO's beam sucks you in and whisks you away from Earth forever.
"Watch out! I may look adorably weak and helpless… but I can make myself even weaker and feebler than you could possibly handle!"
You inject yourself with a shot of your lover's saliva. The power of a thousand kisses fills your veins, embracing your body's every cell!
"Moving to a low-gravity planet hasn't degraded my body at all," you think as you trickle down the steps, pooling below your front porch.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=8693663 – This one, conversely, reminds me of a lot of indie AGS/RPG Maker games.
You rush for the "in case of anger becoming attraction" tonic… but remember your ex took it. Damn their thieving hands and indelible face!
The fairy attacks! Your spells are: Ice Rock, Love Kiss, Iron Shackles The fairy attacks! Your spells are: Nice Hug, Love Kiss, Iron Tickles
The harbingers of armageddon.
You're part of the "knowledge economy" now, which means you get paid to comment "what if it's night time huh?" on solar power news articles.
Milling around their mother's deathbed, the brothers ask who'll inherit the dragon. As if any but her could earn the trust of that creature.
"No, no, mysql_real_escape_string() escapes the string in real life."
Just realised if Sonic and Samus traded places Samus could beat the barrel and Sonic could beat the noob bridge easily. This feels important
The spider tries to bunch up its legs so its reassuring strokes feel like a human hand's. To your surprise, it actually makes you homesick.
"God, I needed this," whimpers the devourbeast as it binge-eats you. "I'm such a mess." "iktf" you concur as you slip into unconsciousness.
You can't believe this bus's driver missed 3 boost pads in a row. If it flubs the loop-de-loop road, you and your smile will be upside-down.
"To give that extra bonus touch of hospitality to the new CEO who's parachuting in, you're changing your name to match his old secretary's."
*doesn't get around to taking ex-spouse out of will* "I'm a daredevil. I'm living life on the edge."
Star Fox question: what's the point of making the characters woodland animals if their space stations aren't shaped like trees or brooks
You roll your eyes at the few lines of healers amidst pages of sorcerers and pyromancers – as if they'd fought their battles unscathed!
It's a good thing you ate some dark chocolate "so bitter you'll never stop tasting it" a year ago, or this desert island would really suck.
Your blocked nose just made the exact same noise as the wind from Chrono Trigger and FFVI, and you really need your followers to understand.
Whenever you tell a particularly puerile sex joke, you reach for the nearest child-proof bottle, just to make sure you can still open it.
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