Leon's Microblog – December 2016

I love the assonance in the phrase "as above, so below", but the phrase itself has a specific theological meaning that limits its usefulness
Only #True90sKidsWithRichParents lovingly remember being screamed at by the innkeeper first thing in the morning.
I find it funny to imagine Inside's devs tried to make this puzzle-platformer world less abstract, but couldn't resist adding ceiling water.
This interaction, player-weapon-to-player, feels especially physically intrinsic… akin to a platformer suddenly adding fall damage unbidden.
*thinks about how Gauntlet made later levels harder by suddenly turning on friendly fire without any real explanation for it* Wow
The game itself feels much like "Limbo: More", or perhaps Limbo in slightly more of a world instead of an eponymous loosey-goosey afterlife.
I'm playing Inside right now and I'm glad I got to meet shy submerged strong murder person.
*remembers La Mulana had an entire level of Parodius MSX as a hidden minigame* Yeah *remembers you had to play it to beat Hell Temple* YEAH
"Who is this joke even forrrrrrrrr" I wail while staring directly into my own soul.
OK, that's not true – I also screenshotted the advisor conflating the Warren Robinett room with the Chris Houlihan room.
It always cracks me up when MM speedrunners drop the Powder Keg next to the massive boulder and then make Link smack it at point blank.
Me: "The Ben creepypasta ruined Majora's Mask. They naffed it up… Thank god Undertale contains its own creepypasta so it's pre-ruined."
The intent is to just invoke Mario ghost houses in general, but the melody itself also invokes the entirety of SMW along with it.
So, it's a little odd when later games cite single tracks from them verbatim, like the SMW ghost house theme or the SM64 slide theme.
When games like Super Mario World or Mario 64 use a common melody for a lot of tracks, it intrinsically ties the tracks to the entire game.
(To be clear, only women fairies appear in the game.)
I only took 3 screenshots during play: the above message, one of a visual glitch, and this one of the advisor mentioning she's gay married.
If I ever actually implement this in a game engine, rest assured you'll be the first to know.
Obviously, many memories are common to both humans and snakes, like the pleasure of eating, and if you choose to remember those, you lose.
So, to resist being turned into a snake, you must remember the pain of tripping and falling over, or the relief of scratching an itch, etc.
They do this by mind-controling you into believing you have become the thing, and you must mentally fight it by remembering being human.
It turns out I'm on a bit of a fairy kick right now. I'm thinking about an RPG battle system where fairies try to transform you into things.
…but it actually means their branches droop down below the ground! You need to excavate pits for the branches to enter, to maximise yield.
Also, here's a tip: it says that Jelly Vines "need space to grow downwards", and I first assumed that meant their roots…
Yeah! Can't believe I simultaneously discovered and fulfilled my lifelong dream.
*bolts out of bed* Marceline the Vampire Queen's axe guitar is a labrys… Bubbline foreshadowing!!
Having that in one's back pocket changes the tone of the platforming, making it a bit pleasingly looser than just "more Mega Man".
Mechanically, I appreciate the phasing spell, which grants a few seconds invincibility, as a way to selectively opt-out of death spikes.
and given it by their master in exchange for loyalty. Having something dear to fight for, albeit charmingly selfish and self-indulgent.
King Knight getting to live out a fantasy as a king in particular is that fun trope seen in Paper Mario, of bosses wanting something dearly,
#IPlayed Shovel Knight. I liked it the few times the enemy knights talked about how the Enchantress has made their dreams come true.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=52548168 – There's only 15 Osman fanarts on the entirety of Pixiv but fortunately the ones this artist does are pretty good.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/155037720731/la-mulana – This took me 11 hours of gameplay to unlock and record… whimper…
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=60047132 – Ah… another nostalgically constrained palette.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=40687362 – Usually, overdetailed teeth destroy pictures. In this one, the teeth make the picture, bring the dead eyes alive.
I literally only encountered this game because I found a fanart of this character on Pixiv, of all places, and decided to backreference it.
https://www.twitch.tv/ponktus – I just tuned into SpeedRunsLive habitually and got this Super Metroid blindfolded speedrun.
A unique joy of being a naga and a cat owner is when it comes inside and climbs on your tail with freezing paws while your back is turned.
Upon asking your mysterious-but-hot unnamed party member what their "METER" meter does, they smile sweetly, and it increases by two pixels.
"It isn't real fiction unless the characters have sex, and the third-person narrator pretends they don't quite understand what's going on."
"If anyone needs me, I'll be on the nearest mountaintop, shouting at astronauts."
"It was I, all along! I'm not taking the mask off because my face is sweaty underneath, but you recognise my distinctive jaw now, right?!"
"Yeah, I knew the prize was immortality all along, but I hoped it was, like, a better immortality than my current one. …No, I won't share."
"This isn't a tattoo – it's a magical weapon that stores itself as a circle on my skin. I added the cool hydra woman cradling it, though."
"Two was wacky, but three scorpion tails is too far! You can't even sting with that many!" *whilst licking around a stinger* "Mmwhah? Muh."
*one of her huge demonic hands reaches forward and forms a footrest for her human legs* "Now, let's discuss this little quarrel rationally."
"You're thinking, "Did that fairy story really happen?" Don't take my word…" *opens palms to show fairy who says "Huh? …I mean, IT'S TRUE!"*
You sigh blissfully as you remember things you've done together that you can never tell a living soul about, for risk of dooming the world.
"No, my hair's space-black with a nightmare-black highlight. Look in the light…" *hair shines with sparkling stars and innumerable eyes*
Sleepy Pasta (200HP): Pasta so heavy and filling that eating it makes you drowsy. But, it's the only food quick enough to prepare in battle.
*wakes to discover a night-mare awkwardly pressing their butt against your chest* "Sorry… you rolled onto your side, so I couldn't sit."
*suddenly realises humans like ten because they have ten fingers if you pretend thumbs are also fingers, which they TOTALLY are not* "OH!"
"This one time, I misspelled my own name… and I forgot what the correct spelling was. Still don't know. I stopped recognising my face, too."
"Being a god isn't a big deal… my foot still hurts–" *stomps out a valley that will feature in legends for centuries* "–when I kick things."
"If you could change any part of yourself, what would it be?" "I, well–" *becomes utterly overwhelmed with possibilities* "…Nothing, then?"
I tried a search for translations but the most anyone's done is like… the first five.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=45407945 – Unfortunately I can't read these Portal 2 4komas… They seem decent, though…
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=53241982 – *smokes the handle of a knife dangerously*
This gives them a unique feeling of precarity, and of surreal momentum, as you rapidly pass through vertical strata of the environment.
Most uncommon thing about Osman: its levels are relentlessly diagonal. Half the time you're running up or down increasingly steep slopes.
https://youtu.be/grxAcxX6Yug?t=47 – Tag… yourself…
*remembers that room in Yume Nikki where the tiny person's footsteps are constantly looping until you find and stand in front of them* Yeah
Disclaimer: I have close to zero familiarity with the Ranma ½ universe, but these games make it look like a real fun time.
*feels an ache for the Ranma ½ RPG's fan translator's plight*
*opens SNES emulator* Let's see… do I play the Ranma ½ fighter, the Ranma ½ fighter, the Ranma ½ action puzzler, or the Ranma ½ RPG
""Dog Chef, my pasta is too sweet!" Well, the secret is to just slip one of these–" *raises dog biscuit* "–in a bowl, instead of the pasta."
Me: "I'm sick of games boasting about having multiple endings… I like Undertale – it doesn't indicate that it has any endings at all."
Contra: Hard Corps. One damage frame.
Where's the… whatever mipmapping is… version of Flip Flappers… called… "MIP Mappers" *clicks to the right of the "tweet" button three times*
Time for a peek at the latest from Leon HQ! "OK… parsing a 50MB JSON file in Node's REPL just caused OS X to triple fault." Scintillating!
Some praise after that: the imps' laughs are even better and more characterful than the miniblins' laughs in Wind Waker. Yes, it's possible.
From then on, the word "video" would slowly end up referring to all of images, video and audio, their semantic distinction evapourating.
Thought about how the next big image and audio formats could be a video format that allows 1-frame and 0x0-resolution videos, respectively.
In this case I fear the flip happens too soon, and the delicious catharsis that the trope so easily provides is stunted. Alas…
There's something of a trope in game stories where you suffer through a forced form, then have it flip into a power once you can control it.
Considering the early game's grimness, being trapped in a non-human form for awhile would've been a great continuation of that mood.
My biggest small disappointment with Momodora RutM is that there's not enough time between becoming transformed and gaining control of it.
*cartoon safe lands on them* "Aagh… I feel like…" *dial spins, door swings open* "…a million dollars!" *golden light surrounds their body*
You puzzlingly wake up next to a foot-wide ball of sweat-drenched bedsheet with your partner's snores rumbling from inside.
"I dreamed I finally got to meet the fire from the Fireplace Channel in person… and… oh god… it let me feed it!!"
"I just… I'm just so glad you always notice when I'm trying not to sound too interested, and respect my comfort by pretending you don't."
"I'm pleased I got the room in this jagged cartoon gothic tower right where it bends… like living inside a jauntily jutted hip."
"Some of my spells get rowdy in my mind… they notice me casting, and sprout more fingers all over me, so they can be cast, too."
"Dozens of ghosts surround us, longing for physical intimacy… whatever this paint covers, they can touch once more." *dabs it on your nose*
(This kind of reminds me of Song That Is Neither In Undertale Nor Is Actually Named This, from the Undertale OST.)
Due to its resulting notoriety, people have lately been doing cool remixes of the song, like this one: https://duckduckaudio.bandcamp.com/track/swan-theory-art-academy-duck-hunt-swan-lesson
It's a bit of a meme in the competitive community to turn that song's frequency to max, so it plays every time the stage is selected.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHqX9bJ0oXY – As you know, one of the tournament-legal Smash 4 stages has this song in its random track list.
"If you build it (an Outfield), they will come (the Angels)".
More confessions: I keep thinking Field of Dreams (which I haven't seen) and Angels in the Outfield (saw part of on TV) are the same film.
I should emphasise that even the Chozo statues that remained completely inanimate left me unsettled every time I discovered one.
This was for the best, as I've no doubt encountering it without warning would've badly frightened me and made the game much more sinister.
Me and my brother first played Super Metroid as kids on a used copy, on a used save file just after this boss.
Everyone goes on about Crocomire's flesh melting off its bones in glorious 256 colour, but let's not forget this boss either.
"Ugh… I can't laugh evilly at you with this flu… I'll toss my head and you do the laugh." *you do so* "YOU DARE MOCK ME, IMPUDENT HUMAN?"
"Okay, but what if the farmer isn't strong enough to get the fox back in the boat before it and the chicken make out?"
"I've had so many sad moods this year, but I've outlasted them all–" *"BOSS RUSH" appears onscreen with mugshots of all the previous moods*
"Says here that once you harvest the down from a phoenix, it becomes a mortal bird and dies normally." "Messed up." "Messed up world."
intentionally, designed into a game, without including its entire separate, tonally different predecessor alongside in a sort of diptych.
I feel almost like I added an extra storytelling dimension to it. I also observe that this isn't a dimension that could really be,
Momodora RutM's setting and music is much darker and doom-laden than 3, and by choosing to making the world that much more hostile,
#IPlayed Momodora games 3 and 4… but by increasing the difficulty level between the two, which potently amplified their tonal difference.
"I'm collecting way too many bottomless pits in this game." #​out of context speedrunners
"I melted the motherboard down and forged this, a wondrous blade." *sheathes sword* *scabbard makes floppy disk noises*
"The flagship was lost when its bow and stern got stuck on the crests of two particularly pointy waves, where it dangles to this day."
"A dazzling jewel to adorn the face, the window to the soul! HAIRCLIP!" you shout, while opening the drawer slowly enough to get it all out.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=39731299 – I like how this perspective makes it not especially obvious what exactly is going on here.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=12819773 – The obstructing foreground flowers and their sharp forms lend an interesting amount of tension to this scene.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=49407376 – When you aren't feeling it on any of your accounts.
Such exaggerated scenarios… dynamics so intense they break causation and reality, the power disparity turned insurmountable… it's the best…
Sighs contentedly… I love power-difference fic and art the most… when it has the tone and timbre of a comedic, surreal nightmare.
and was, in fact, never canon in the first place. Never mind, then! My reading was false.
Someone has brought up a new fact that invalidates all of the above: that the refrain was actually added during Metroid 1's NES localisation
This feels like a microcosm of the Metroid series's downward trajectory from ZM onward – forgetting its nuance, doubling down on "cool".
Here's Super Smash Bros.'s version. Not only is it gone, but replaced with a melody from an entirely different track https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-ByQet_Uy4
Here's Metroid Prime 2's version. It's gone! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyvN9ajTN-0
Now consider: in every rendition since then, the refrain has been excised! Here's Zero Mission's version. It's gone! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6eoA1ajAi8
Considering how low on melody this theme is, that refrain adds some much needed structure and humanity to the overall tune, however briefly.
Here's something that bugs me! Consider the escape music from Metroid 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuO_C-ccnz8 in particular the optimistic refrain at 0:38
I should also hedge that any readings of Mary's secret might probably owe more to bad game balance than any deliberate authorship intent.
(I'm excluding main characters from the search because I think the distance and hint of mystery is especially important to Sans's character)
So far the closest I've come up with is, of all people, Canary Mary from Banjo-Tooie… who even then has a rather conventional body shape.
I'm trying to think of women characters loosely similar to Undertale's Sans… affable, memorable, not typically attractive, secretly powerful
http://angelseal.deviantart.com/art/Parasite-Eve-599203900 – Just the way I chose to misremember it, too.
"I devoured so many innocent souls to outlive my fear of death… so youre DEFFO the last one, pinky-swear" *shoves bendy-straw in your chest*
Having to hide the flaming aura around your head so your parents wouldn't know you'd just been intensely RPing cosmic dueling on IRC.
Realising, finally, that this major was a huge mistake, you relent and let your shadow take your chair, ace your exam, and live your life.
"I'll kick your dog's ass…" *pauses to raise the stakes even higher* "and then I'll kick your vet's ass!"
"Well," *interviewer rolls microphone under brim* "even before the band, we thought one huge hat was easier than us buying six small ones."
"Put me in your pocket and carry me around like a set of keys!" "Okay." *forgets them on the fricking dresser and heads for the bus alone*
*watches a character in surreal fantasy fiction symbolically appear crucified* "Oh, I love Spartacus."
*after noticing your musical number's teleprompter has been swapped to the demonic summoning chant, but too embarrassed to stop the show* 𝔜𝔒
You're being very careful this time to telekinetically lift your captives by the shoulders first try, and not by their neck, or their boobs.
"The Prince of Wicked Smiles turned my homework quiz to stone, and now I must go on a magical journey to the teacher to get another copy."
"Space is infinitely empty… but you… you are full of yourself." – tag line, Narcissistic Space Explorer I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII and VIII.
Sorry for posting so much about games instead of updating you on your tiny robot (it got stuck in a corner and thinks the whole room shrank)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cob1lLvjOHU – Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland has a few quite good harpsichord tracks, this one being the most developed.
Can't believe the New Super Mario Bros. assets turned 50 this year, and they're celebrating by using them unaltered for another 5 decades.
Just, soak that up for a second.
I'd like to bring up that Team Plasma's awful logo animation flashes the screen white not twice, not thrice, but five times.
Hard to believe that Mario's battle menu dance would remain so enshrined in the zeitgeist 13 years later
I'm glad that every human exclusively associates things gyrating in a loop with the random battle theme from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga.
which is a shame since I suspect only I reminisce about it among those tunes, or regard it as a equally iconic.
It's really great as a short peppy action theme, easily comparable to Bloody Tears or Fight 2 or other retro Nintendo fan favourites,
There's this one old XM tracker chiptune from 2002 that I really like, which I first heard used in the indie game Lyle in Cube Sector.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=41544015 – Designing the Queen of Hearts as just a queen with a heart for a head… is surprisingly compelling.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44829652 – Bathing in water, but without the bath… don't worry, it's OK.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=44482171 – Me: "Why does this woman look familiar" *notices earrings, which are apparently her defining physical detail* "Oh"
It uses magic in a lighthearted but elegant sense, feeling both cartoonish, dreamy and mythic at once… in a way I waxed about in September.
A while back I read Ran and the Gray World, an urban magic coming-of-age comic, and liked it a lot.
Whether it's actually that straightforward IRL is another question, but still… small psychological victories are there for the taking…
I dreamed my computer got owned by cryptolock malware, but I only thought "well, I can just restore from the full backups I did a week ago."
I'm a big fan of breaking heavily scripted RPG combat, of seeing the numerical walls and trying to vault them, so this appeals to me.
But, you can try hard to break the battle's script and get the third outcome, which produces a "twist ending" film that grosses the highest.
The mons' levels and movesets mean that one outcome is likely if you don't follow the script, and another (the goal) is possible if you do.
"Filming" these movies consists of doing scripted battles with selected mons, where you must either win, lose, or stall the battle.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/154434313938/pok%C3%A9mon-black-version-2 – Thank you, Pokémon Black and White 2 movie studio, for saving that entire generation.
*after being promoted to a harder, equal-salary position due to a skill vacancy* "My fearsome powers have brought me nothing but ruin."
Sometimes videos I saw once eight years ago float back into my memory like this… a simpler time of simpler joys…
Jake Shimabukuro playing the ukelele, but every time the crowd says "faster", https://youtu.be/IXoiFhpYBpk?t=147
*remember's how often computer programs, whose physical properties are all human-defined, are less reliable than analog machines* I love it
"You're trying SO hard not to look interested in me, dear. So hard, you're hallucinating me saying this." Girl at end of bar: "No y'ain't."
"Main reason I'm not open about my fetishes is because they're all so amazing and incredible that everyone would become bitterly jealous."
"You can tell this folder's private because I named it "_porn" and you can tell this folder's REALLY private because I named it "__porn__"."
"Being possessed by an ancient demon/systems programmer means I am compelled to do wicked acts, but I also understand async generators now."
She smeared those lipstick marks onto her boots for a different reason than you thought. With a swift kick, she leaves one on your cheek.
Someone put coloured shavings in the pencil unsharpener, so now your re-lengthened 2B pencil is marbled with hot pink and orange.
"In exchange for unbeatable, fearful powers, the swallowed hellplant seed forces you to dig a fertile patch of land and poop it out there."
"No, hang on!" *left side of body has already turned into bats and flown away* "Damn, I'll have to write your number on my thigh."
"I thought space would be full of wonder, but all I ever see are the saddest stars, the coldest clusters, the most heart-rending nebulae."
"Don't worry," *dramatically hugs one of the stitch-faced clones circling her rather than the real her* "I've got y– um, I'm getting you!"
Licked within an inch of your life by a puppy, then licked back to health by the same puppy.
You enter the horror park's secret world, where its deadly attractions are real. But, revenue still rules – you bleed cash instead of blood.
http://shmuplations.com/chinorondo/ – Castlevania Bloodlines OST liner notes
(You might notice this has even more in common with Yoshi's Island's last boss, but that came a year later, 1995 vs 1994.)
3. You can tell this was inspired by Super Mario World's last boss: no HUD or timer, huge grinning enemy, dark sky, three phases with 2HP.
Observations about this boss: 1. Hell Yes 2. I never noticed it, and you may'ven't, but they craftily avoided having to draw DK's arms.
Tag yourself
Beginning of 2016, end of 2016, I don't know which character is us, maybe we're everybody. Except me, I'm the dolly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5C8cGMueY – I like this video about achievable NFL score combinations, despite having no familiarity with the examined sport.
Garry in this analogy would have to be a combination of Toriel and Asgore – nurturing parent, doomed to have their soul taken.
And, both Flowey and Mary trap you in "their world" for the climax of certain endings, in which someone must die.
The rules for leaving the underground and the exhibition are both pretty similar… take a human's soul, and take their place.
Undertale but with Ib, and her soul is the rose… and Flowey is Mary – yellow to yellow, soul-less monster child to soul-less monster child.
Chrono Trigger. Come at me!
It feels like the logical next step for that particular character.
What I'm looking forward to in Cucumber Quest is seeing whether or not, as many anticipate, Pancetta is more than just a stage name now.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=13166640 – Thirty-three six-legged cats, with buggy occlusion.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=4592610 – Fanart of the international woman of mystery and intrigue.
"Plant powers" *zoom out to reveal them clinging halfway up tree they just grew, unable to climb in either direction* "freaking RUUUUUULE!!"
*in very about to post "boob boob boob, another one tits the breast" to main voice* "boob boob boob, another one tits the breast" *click*
"Wind up the music box… OK, the melody started in the middle, wait until – quick, wind it more! Nuts, I think our combat turn just ended."
For the second time during sex you've freaked out and crumbled into dust, forcing your lover to harvest the blood of the hero's descendant.
"The parts of your body you like the most will take the longest to transform–" *instantly, fully becomes a duck* "Wow! You've got a gift!"
"I'll get us out using plant powers!" *places seed on ground, which instantly sprouts into a flower* "Nevermind, brought the wrong satchel."
Bog Dollop ×97 Big Bog Dollop ×51 Mud Clump ×38 Peat Blob ×47 Muck Glob ×22 Mega Muck Glob ×8 "All stocked up on healing items."
"How can skeletons stand up? Heh, nothing more than pure self-affirmation!" *suddenly collapses* "…just… remembered something embarrassing…"
"When you open your eyes, this place and I will be gone from this world." "Well, let me rub my face in these flowers for a few hours more."
Yoshi's Island presents: physics.
Super Metroid.
(The actual cause of the glitch is one level earlier – see this explanation: http://yoshispeedruns.wikia.com/wiki/The_Null_Egg_Glitch#Getting%20the%20Null%20Egg)
https://youtu.be/V3EEtQGpYa0?t=1084 – God, this glitch. (Also keep an eye on the controller cam.)
~~~~~~~~ If u got pwned by the last boss of Rose & Camellia put this 🌼 in ur sig to show the world u'll never be a true Tsubakikoji ~~~~~~~~
🌩Put This In Ur Sig If You🌩 🐊💀𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝘽𝙀𝘼𝙏 𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝟑💀🐊 🛎“𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓰 𝓭𝓸 𝓘 𝓱𝓲𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱”
but, maybe the basic implication that even in fantasy, unwanted hair can't just be magicked away, is something many of us can relate to.
This is probably nothing more than a humour scenario borne of an exoticising fixation with waxing and women's body hair,
BTW, the context here is that whenever she turns into a werecat, she has to get all her fur waxed off in order to "change back".
The sticking-point here for me was the corner balloon – that of taking pride in how much more pain you can withstand.
Personally, I can't remember anything very early at all… except perhaps for this panel from RPG World, 14/10/2001.
I'll do a different thing people are doing: post your earliest internet illustration that isn't inherently sexual but felt lewd at the time.
I won't do the 2006-2016 selfie comparison because posting selfies for the first time ever is an irreversible security liability. Instead,
This kind of obscured, revelatory use of metaphor is an unfamiliar taste for me personally, but its purpose and intent is clear and focused.
She uses metaphor to take you on a long walk to the truth… to convey the specific feelings of indoctrination and disillusionment in an hour.
Trying to describe what strikes me the most about Aevee's writing, in respect to both this and We Know The Devil… https://twitter.com/MammonMachine/status/806674431108071425
I've learned there is a joke, or perhaps a Sphinxean riddle among SM speedrunners – that it contains 100 items but plays 101 item fanfares.
Deep in the hovels of Swamp 7, the people have one dream: that their king won't get bored and relocate everyone to a newly founded Swamp 8.
"Innie nipples… can't poke through clothes, immune to pinching. Only problem is their lint is a colour human minds can't safely perceive."
Everyone's dead except your party's helper fairy, who is currently trying to squeeze a butterfly out of its chrysalis so she can hide in it.
"Ahh… a great batch of watery mud." *a single tear falls from the frog's face* "Gahh! This is now just muddy water! Ruin! Catastrophe!"
"Uh," *trying to leave early without saying "me and my partner are simultaneously horny for the first time in 8 months"* "Our house died."
Mother 3. Live it up!
Anyway, I just looked all this up because it's surprisingly hard to find route descriptions (let alone comparisons) written for viewers.
In fact, the specific IM glitch used in Any% crashes the original N64 version (but not Virtual Console) so that route must be used on it.
For those wondering, an Any% that only banned IM would just be slightly longer– the only needed item, Bottle, can be obtained from Kakariko.
Any% No IM/WW: Basically same as above, but you must also beat the Spirit and Shadow Temple bosses to get Light Arrows "normally" too.
Any% No RBA/WW: Basically same as above, but you're only able to get Bombs, Lullaby and Bow normally from their dungeons/castles.
Any% No WW: Get the Master Sword, use inventory manipulation (IM) to get Bombs + Lullaby + Bow + Light Arrows, then clear Ganon's Castle.
Any%: Clear the tutorial dungeon, then use a HILARIOUS wrong warp (WW) to go directly from the game's first boss to the last boss.
I did it so you don't have to: I looked up the differences between Ocarina of Time's four different puzzlingly-named "Any%" speedrun routes.
(Immediately after her is the boss mentioned here, making for a high density of nigh-illegible Konami in-jokes.) https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/795974143556497414
This boss, and specifically the way it shakes its abdomen after each loop, is spoofed by Parodius's iconic showgirl: http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/154089153659/gradius-ii-parodius-parodius-parodius-gokuj%C5%8D
Finally recorded a passable loop of this Gradius II boss.
Adding more E's to "horney" to make it appear increasingly self-effacing, until you realise that "heoerney" is perhaps a bit too telling.
As a result, the games introduce new "generic" mons for common animals like "bat", "dog", "cat", "horse" etc. https://www.spriters-resource.com/resources/sheets/31/34143.png
It's kinda forgotten now, but Black and White had a special gimmick. It was: what if zero returning mons were available in the main game?
Heartwarming life constants: whenever people do "Pokémon I never knew existed" posts, the mon is always, without fail, from generation 5.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=25641420 – Hmm… when a heart like this also has veins and blood, I like to think it isn't just a metaphor anymore.
I think there's a lot of character to be suggested by giving powerful creatures unnatural, strange reactions to being damaged.
I greatly admire this Super Castlevania IV boss, and its bizarre, otherworldly reaction to taking even one hit.
EarthBound-esque RPG where the homesickness status effect is reskinned to climate anxiety
Public twitter, private twitter, rearrange as befits you. Source: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=3379510
They used the desert background for the jumping fish levels and the waterfall background for the palm tree levels, instead of vice-versa!!
The mistake is, they made these pretty backgrounds for the x-3 stages of Super Mario Bros.… but used the wrong one for each!!
OK, Super Mario All-Stars was my first console game and i love it a lot BUT there's one huge but innocuous mistake that can't be unseen!
"Once I've killed your weak human side, you'll join me in ruling them!" *hovers with sword raised, trying to find your least demonic limb*
"Can't find dish soap… I'll use a second box of laundry powder." *returns to find house has grown Baba Yaga legs out of self preservation*
"You… you disgust me. Using your powers for GOOD instead of–" *accidentally catches falling kitten while gesticulating*
You fear that you flipped the bird so rapidly that they didn't see the $500 price tag on the glove you bought just to do the gesture with.
"Hero… do not be deceived by the sorcerer's illusions." *all of the dogs you are petting suddenly change into stoats*
The bright side is, your attempts at hiding your immense relief when your ex came crawling back were so poor, they laughed away their tears.
"If… If they knew I was into this… they…" "Their opinion of you would not change whatsoever." "Exactly! It's my worst nightmare come true!"
You sit down and take stock. Your best friend is in love with… and is now… dating… your apartment's shower's water pressure.
*swallows glob of sap from the World Tree* "Ugh, something here's gotta juice me up with tricked-out powers." *swallows swarm of ants from t
"Can't believe detectives had to solve cases ourselves before the Accusatron 500… Now we just collect footprint casts as a lucrative hobby."
You and your partner keep getting callbacks for job offers at the exact same time, so neither of you can calm the other during the calls.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=39968956 – Average ghostly-string-based relationship.
Additionally: Sardonyx does NOT main both of Garnet and Pearl's mains. She exclusively mains Game & Watch. Thanks.
This one would be way more interesting if all the odd-coloured Yoshis weren't in roughly the same place.
Hell yes.
https://www.speedrun.com/smwmemes – It's come to this… I'm looking up meme speedruns, where the goal is to do something other than win.
Time for my controversial Steven Universe headcanon: Garnet clearly mains Fox, and NOT the Ice Climbers.
*notices I have exactly 30,085 tweets* Ah… eoobs.
"BOB stands for BOB-omb Battlefield, which stands for Bob-omb Battlefield-omb Battlefield."
"Dracula has to put his damn banana peels on the chandeliers." #​out of context speedrunners
*notices they draw all their characters wearing Fell Rings of Unending Life* "Gee, I've worn 'em so long, I forgot what fingers look like."
*watches The Cube rotate on 1 axis* "Gosh." *2 axes* "This can't possibly get better." *3 axes* "What–" *phone shoots out of hand like soap*
"Calm yourself by breathing in and out in time to the motion of this circle–" *video buffers for 10 seconds*
Well, that other passenger is also going to work while hiding their molting feathers beneath tight jumpers and sweatpants, in late spring.
Some worker had loaded up the spaceport luggage robot with boxing animations from a videogame that didn't care to keep limbs from clipping.
"My drink," *pulls out sardine tin with "cola" on it* "and something for the chips." *pulls out soda can with "ketchup" on it*
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