Some Guy In Australia In The Late 1930s: "Listen. Things might look bad now, but I have an idea. Hear me out. What if we simply ask the cane toads to eat the rabbits"
"If you stick your nose into a running vacuum cleaner nozzle, you can smell the void."
Sandwiches, invented for easy consumption during long nights of cards, are credited as the first ever "gamer fuel"
"They say every file a human has personally created has an indelible touch of humanity in them." *holds up a text file by the dog-ear* "I'm not sure where it is, though. Maybe if you look real close, the individual bytes are more neurotic or something."
Place air fryer on bench
Plug in air fryer
Crank air fryer timer knob
Switch on air fryer to preheat
Wait 10 seconds
Yank open air fryer drawer in case a borrower is inside
Close air fryer drawer
"I just thought of an obscure joke about trees."
"What is it?"
"Nevermind – you wooden get it."
"It's my newest invention, the Right-Wrong Detector! When you point the jabby end at a morally good post, it plays the 'You Are Dead' song from Total Distortion, and when you point it at a morally evil post, it plays the baby sound from Mario Paint. Don't mix them up!!"
"Think of the most specific image that comes to your mind whenever you hear the phrase "just over there". Really try and visualise it." *places hands on your shoulders* "That's where I'll wait for you. That place. Just over there."
"Take these binoculars. I made the left one into a kaleidoscope, so you can just close your right eye whenever you're looking at something boring."
"Hey. Listen. I know you just came in, but when you, me, and these six pushable blocks finally bust our way out of this goddamn dungeon room, we're all going to the beach. To see the ocean together. I promise on my twenty-foot beard."
"What? No, don't worry, my eyes aren't bleeding. That's just clown makeup. …No, it's not mine. I headbutted one just before you came in, and it stuck."
🔺🔻🔺WARNING🔺🔻🔺
⚠️NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHING⚠️
Wait… they're slowing down…
⚠️NEW CHALLENGER TURNING AROUND⚠️
They're glancing around… they're… leaving…
⚠️NEW CHALLENGER WALKING AWAY⚠️
They must have went the wrong way… oh well… their silhouette looked cool…
Moledusa has earthworms for hair
and only nibbles them when she's sure no one's looking
Games are a magic circle… and I'm the horned head rising out of the purple smoke in the centre…
"Bug 2901: If a player reloads their sniper rifle while perched atop a toilet, the splash as the casing lands in the bowl breaks stealth even if it was flushing at the time."