Leon's Microblog – July 2020

When your quest is to prevent all infinity being compressed into a singularity
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The entire Mario brand re-centering itself around Peach's Castle from Mario 64 as the center of the universe, after more geographically unique games like Super Mario Sunshine, is really one of its most tiresome aesthetic qualities.
The "Standard Mario Opening", established from Mario Galaxy onward, states that every Mario game must open with Mario arriving at Peach's Castle™, then being blasted away to the actual start of the game. Every contemporary Mario game except the 3D series uses this, and it sucks.
"Coyote Time" is the time between when two samurai run past each other, and when one of them suddenly splits into two pieces along a clean diagonal cut.
Loaded up one of the Super Mario Odyssey maps in http://noclip.website and swiftly discovered this ordinary and unremarkable model import discrepancy.
Design by similarity: by giving conceptually related functions thematically similar yet distinct names, you aid in mentally grouping them together.
[SUPERCUT] NPCs Telling The Player Their Inventory Is Full (5+ Hours) 912,453,277 views
The big idea I'm working on now is that instead of specific re.exec() methods to extract matches, you can "just" use destructuring assignment, such as (set: (p: "[", (p-many:alnum)-type $message, "]") to "[ABCD]") to set $message to "ABCD" (or error if it doesn't match).
Harlowe (Twine story format) status: you can now set regexps (or rather, my barely more beginner-friendly string datatype macros) as the types of variables. Notice in the second example that you can construct these using constituent parts saved in earlier variables.
5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel? Heh, cute, but I'm afraid to report that… it's been done. *drags out a furry gray box that, on closer inspection, is a two-inch layer of dust covering Achron, the Time Travel RTS from 2011, unopened*
Now that I've checked, the "psychic" trainer class wasn't even in Sun/Moon or Sword/Shield… It's finally been cast aside. Trouble us no more, Yuri Gellar and That Kid From The Matrix 1.
Thinking about how psychic/telekinetic children in dystopian fiction was primarily an 80s-90s fad that ended up in a few games like Mother/EarthBound, Pokémon and ESP RaDe, and the continued presence of "psychics" in Pokémon from the 00's-present is now just a legacy anachronism.
"I don't know its exact meaning, but I imagine being described as someone's "ilk" must be a great honour."
It's fine. It's like when you rm -f /usr/bin/ in POSIX. It's normal.
Javascript is a modern and professional programming language. Sometimes I think about how you can just open the console and type something like "delete Array" to delete the Array class from the running program, swiftly grinding it to a halt.
Q: Do any other mod communities use the term "chocolate mechanics" (contrast to "vanilla mechanics") when referring to mod-created mechanics/level pieces, or is it just a term among ROM hacking?
Throughout playing Outer Wilds I assumed the phrase "Outer Wilds" was referring to the bushland-themed Timber Hearth and its neighbours. But now I realise it's more likely a Hearthian word for the idea of space itself, its own parochial, humbler phrasing for "the Final Frontier".
Can't believe the phrase "L is real 2401", that a bunch of 90s kids thought was written on one of Super Mario 64's sign textures, has now miraculously come true, with the discovery of a Luigi ("L") model inside Super Mario 64's source code, which was leaked today (January 24th).
Disks mounted in D: drive are where you store your 😩 data. ––– LICENSE FOR THIS TWEET: Copyright (C) 2020 Leon Arnott This tweet is provided 'as-is', without any express or implied warranty. In no event will the authors be held liable for any damages arising from the use of th
RPG towns keep gently teasing the player's credulity by having as few as two buildings. When are they going to finally go on the offensive and have zero buildings
Harlowe (Twine story format) development shot: structural typing. (Error message in progress.)
These moments feel so heavy-handed, an open admission that environmental threat has nothing to do with geographic coherence and instead just the author's hand, that they feel like (oblivious) self-parody, much like how Metroidvania shortcuts are like affectionate sleight-of-hand.
Like how Pallet Town in Pokémon has L30 enemy spawns five squares below it. Or how a bunch of power bomb walls on the surface in Super Metroid have ridiculously huge sidehoppers behind them.
Everyone loves the game moments when you open a path and unexpectedly emerge in a familiar early area, but what about its exact inverse: opening a locked path after returning to an early area and suddenly being presented with environmentally incongruous lategame enemies behind it
Here it comes, I'm making a ludoscholarly pronouncement: the Souls character creator is secretly meant to make the player nostalgic for the pre-apocalyptic world, by asking them to studiously dwell upon their character's sociological place in it for a long time.
I feel like one of Dark Souls's more underrated emergent jokes is when you spend 30 minutes in the character creator making your human, and then never bothering to assume human form for almost the whole playthrough.
The new Paper Mario has rediscovered the "don't just make Bowser the villain for god's sake" narrative technique, so I predict in 2 more games it will rediscover the "make Peach be an actual character I swear to god" technique and crawl back up to Super Paper Mario's quality.
10 Beautiful Postcards (2019) vs Paper Mario: The Origami King (2020)
What you see when you look at a NetHack mimic that's imitating the ']' glyph *I attach the "Name one thing in this photo" image, which you can all simply remember now* --- APPENDIX: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Q: What's NetHack? A: Ne
What, me? Just playing a modern Zelda game set in the post-apocalyptic ruins of Hyrule after its destruction by a great evil. *the camera spins and the THX noise starts playing as it's revealed I am indeed playing FRESHLY-PICKED TINGLE'S ROSY RUPEELAND* Ohh hoo hoo hoo hoo HOOOOO
The Javascript typeof operator blearily wakes up in bed from a nightmare in which it returned "null" for null instead of "object", thus causing a space shuttle, which its 1990s mind assumes still exists and is powered with Javascript, to tip over and shatter into glass shards.
That "lamps in games are using real electricity" tweet but it's "when game characters enter a virtual cyber world, they're inside a computer in real life"
>make main():36 lert delay=60; ^ SyntaxError: Pffftp, "lert"? "lert"?! I just… "lert"?? You seriously typed "lert"? Hey everyone! New keyword! "lert"!!! Better run me with -fallow-lert! …OK I'm done. >make main():36 lert delay=60; ^ SyntaxError: YOU DIDNT EVEN FIX IT IM DYING
Chrome has let me down miserably.
Decided to see what Javascript destructuring error messages actually look like, and: are you kidding me? Are you kiddifying me? Are you babygoating me? I know exactly what this means from poring over the ES6 spec, and it still barely makes sense.
You remind the Beast of the feeling of running for a departing bus. The Beast begins to remember its humanity. You remind the Beast of the feeling of catching a different bus that you hope is going the same way as the one you wanted. The Beast begins to remember its humanity.
"The second-strongest mage spell is Pentultima." "Don't you mean Penultima?" "No, Pentultima. It's five Ultimas packed together."
Nothing much, just trying to make a RegExp of every uppercase character
Hey folks. Welcome to my Let's Play of Don't Eat The Mushroom (UncleSporky, 2009 http://knyttlevels.com/?s=UncleSporky)
THE BAD PARALLAX NOTICER - WORST PARALLAX REACTION COMPILATION 2020 *rapid cuts of a bunch of scrolling 16-bit games* "Urrrghh" "Uh, guys" "Oh god" "Eeeeurggh" "That's not… not how the sky works" "Ggggfffhh" "Wrong, bad, poor, fail," "THOSE MOUNTAINS ARE 10 FEET AWAY!"
The number 1, training and plotting elaborate schemes to sneak into the Prime Numbers, starting with "trying to divide by itself and a different 1 that's its own mirror image" and rapidly devolving into "quickly running behind 7 so it looks like 71".
http://www.thecontradictions.com/ - Enjoyed reading this autobio travelogue webcomic. It goes offline in 2 weeks, so, it's a limited time sight.
❧🍀✨ULTRA MYTHIC✨🍀❧ If succubuses had vampire names, they'd be called stuff like "Softflesh Moanbringer" or something equally insufferable. – Whoa! You got an Ultra Mythic-rarity Leon tweet! Only the most lucky followers receive one. Don't tell anyone– they'll get jealous!
Super Mario 64 zero star speedrun? Finally, a category for me! *I am politely informed that I have to also beat the game* Oh……………
The field of walkaround RPG Maker games is pretty broad, but if you like this game, I recommend the Treat series https://itch.io/c/542502/lonely-wolf-treat-series which also has kemono girls in a rustic setting navigating societal distrust.
I like this game a lot! All the quests feel vivid and special, both because of how many illustrations they have, but also by how structurally and tonally differentiated they are, comprising a few fetchquests, an escort, some long conversations, and a bit of silly genre-switching.
My nation's national anthem situation is a little unusual, so I'll put it in these terms: Advance Australia Fair is Australia's boring opening title theme, and Waltzing Matilda is Australia's melancholy credits theme. I hope this eliminates all possible questions.
WITHOUT CHECKING, what does the code "".startsWith("") return?
Enter this mazelike castle and defeat Count Dracula's five undead servants (King Tut, Dr. Jekyll, the Headless Horseman, Literal Actual Satan, and a single skeleton called "The Skeleton")
Biggest thing I wish this game had is kittens that airdash and shoryuken while constantly shouting "c'mon" in Richter Belmont's PS1 voice.
https://sylvie.itch.io/castlevania – I'm now playing this jam game where you have to rid Castlevania of kittens that have stolen all the famous, instantly recognisable powerups.
You're trying to explore the Outer Wilds, and not only can you not find the Quantum Moon, but all your friends are inexplicably able to, AND they keep sending you an endless stream of selfies from it.
A sneak peek beneath the cerebral folds: the scene of the incident before, during and after a certain cute and attractive person entered Golf Mode
Time to save my game. *grabs a payphone receiver without putting in any coins and dials the number for my diary at home*
Now loading Leon's next tweet… --- [Robots] Characters that frequently appear in Leon's tweets, often to reflect the absurdity of sapient life created by capitalist structures, parodying the fact that contemporary humans are exactly that. Heals 10% of max HP when devoured.
"The billionaire, whose name he requested us to omit for personal privacy, says he will be using all his resources to ensure that the next generation of humans are tall, lithe superintelligent mammals that can breathe in space, which he says is "the dream of every child.""
"Listen… if you wake up and find that I, too, have been replaced with a crayon stick figure with dot eyes and a U-shaped smile, just know that my smile for you is still genuine, even if the rest of reality is not."
*hangs up IT industry certification plaque reading "Person who knows how reduce() works"*
You might observe this is a problem Kumazaki's platformers do NOT have. *remembers that the two most prominent female characters in Kumazaki's games are "vain mirror-gazing queen" and "the male antagonist's daughter"* Hrm, well, as I was saying,
Say what you will about Shimomura's Kirby platformers, but until Dream Land 3 and 64, the series really did have zero original female characters.
The extra juicy part of this anecdote is that this play of memory within myself coincidentally accurately parallels the narrative trajectory of the character in the epilogue, across both games. You can't write this one better!
OK, this is funny: I went into this game having completely forgotten the ending of Escaped Chasm (the game this is a sequel to) and as a result, this game's epilogue ending, which isn't even supposed to be a big twist, ended up launching me like an Arsene up-smash.
There's an included relationship chart in the game's feelies folder…
This game is essentially an introduction to the creator's OCs, many of whom feel familiarly Touhou-inspired, though this male "antagonist" feels directly channelled from the Madou Monogatari / Twinkle Star Sprites design era, which I guess (?) is one of Touhou's 90s inspirations.
This is a typical save-point joke but I like it a lot - its very undersold absurdity compared to what most fourth-wall jokes are like.
https://tuyoki.itch.io/dwellers-empty-path – Been playing this RPG Maker game. I appreciate how many incidental illustrations there are, even for interstitial stuff like this fast-travel coach.
Magical painter who releases their horrifying painted creations into real life, not out of malevolence, but because they only have the one canvas to work with.
https://monokai.nl/ – Just went on an emotional adventure upon discovering the creator of the original Monokai code editor palette also A) has a jealousy-inducing dithered scrolling effect on their website, and B) perpetrated one of the most annoying Twitter apps of the 10's.
*prepares to fold a zine, but instead just curves the paper into several alternating arches* Here's my new sine
Eyes boggling as I stare down a freshly torrented .flac with a slightly misspelled filename, trying to escape a thoughtloop of wondering if audio files can do remote code execution now and I just haven't found out yet
I have a 2007 torrent of MODArchive on my hard drive, and it has 128,300 files in it, and it belittles and daunts me to know that there are songs in there I'd genuinely love and cherish /on my own hard drive/ that I will probabilistically never listen to even once
Today in web development
Bad news for speedrun category rules
Vote for the first thing on this list that vampires definitely can't drink
"Even as the decades passed, Twitter's core purpose remained the same: reposting out-of-context content from much more interesting social networks. From Tumblr screenshots to the many spiritual successors of Vine, Twitter remained the place to go to see other people remember it."
Twine (Harlowe story format) development screenshots: making it so that (alert:) dialogs can now have style changers attached.
A Small Child Was Offered A Chance From Earth's Last Wishwizard To Turn One Object From The Game "Portal 2" Real, And The Child Asked For Long-Fall Boots; Nerds Everywhere Are Making Their Feelings Known
*red text reading "MISSION: POST SOMETHING EVEN SLIGHTLY RELATABLE" hovers over me* Remember how one level in Space Invaders Infinity Gene was a 3-min autoscrolling R-Type style battleship, and then in the boss rush, one of the "bosses" was just that battleship again, in entirety
Irem Artist: "Hello. I need to design the microbe bosses for our 1989 game, X Multiply. Can you hand me a medical textbook?" Irem Employee: "Sure, I'll give it to you… Heh! Heh!! Heh!!!" *offers a copy of THE ARS GOETIA* ––– Leon is a major thinkfluencer in: • X Multiply jokes
We Haven't Heard From Leon In Awhile, So Let's Put An Ear To The Door… "–ou kidding? NetHack stole the idea of bones files from Wizardry 1?! Wizardry 1, for the freaking Apple Two?? You mean ALL THIS TIME I've–" Well! Leon Seems In Good Spirits. Mayhap We Shall Hear More Soon!
ESC-like text messaging VN game, but at an arbitrary moment the forced-typing effect is silently switched off, so your player-character suddenly types "gfsjgjisasddcc" instead of legible dialogue
Mod instrument comment that single-handedly explains half of MODArchive's corpus
The explanation for this is that I was implementing another minor code feature into my Twine story format, among a few others.
YEAH! Really interesting textures in this fierce tune. http://deepsid.chordian.net/?file=/DEMOS/M-R/Rawbins_Spirit.sid
Deep appreciation for this one. A full 45 seconds of raw, un-melodic lead-in, and when you get there the melody is a generously loose adaptation. (The underground part is nice, though.) https://modarchive.org/index.php?request=view_player&query=61226
This is an earlier version of what would become a famous OCRemix. Me and my brother listened to this a lot as teens and thought it was hilarious each time (but especially at 0:50) https://modarchive.org/index.php?request=view_player&query=170254
This one needs a pinch of explanation. This is a music file called "super mario bros.xm" that, when opened, plays the high score theme from Great Giana Sisters. https://modarchive.org/index.php?request=view_player&query=120595
Now for a thread of the funniest 1990s-era Super Mario remixes on MODArchive. Here's the current strongest contender. https://modarchive.org/index.php?request=view_player&query=120595
I have good news from me: after an amount of time, I've finally identified the name of THIS famous song https://modarchive.org/index.php?request=view_player&query=37981 *everyone clicks that link and immediately recognises the song and its historical relevance, necessitating no further elaboration on my part*
Another typical melancholic-energetic tune, but with a fairly complete structural arc http://deepsid.chordian.net/?file=/MUSICIANS/C/Chiummo_Aldo/Planet_Golf.sid&subtune=2
The new address of Harlowe (my Twine coding language) is https://foss.heptapod.net/games/harlowe. It's on an instance of Heptapod that offers free hosting if your source is both A. FOSS-licensed and B. version-controlled in Mercurial. Very lucky fit for me, personally! (https://heptapod.net/a-public-heptapod-for-free-and-open-source-software.html#a-public-heptapod-for-free-and-open-source-software)
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