Leon's Microblog – April 2012

But seriously, someone should make a Portal mod where the goal is not to solve the puzzles but to break them and render them unsolvable.
Game idea: an erotic thinking game where you solve puzzles that are literally brain-teasers.
"This game challenges everything you know about puzzle-platformers. For instance, instead of walking, you constantly forward-roll."
"This puzzle-platformer requires lateral thinking. For instance, instead of pushing a floor button down, you pull the rest of the room up."
Darius Gaiden.
Super Mario World.
In a 1989 interview, Shigeru Miyamoto was asked "Why can't Mario just walk around the goomba?". The reporter was escorted from the building.
Gunstar Super Heroes.
Donkey Kong Country. No flash photography, please.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/SuperMarioWorld-Door5.gif - Life was so much easier when me and my brother figured this room out.
Girl cursed with being made of fire searches a haunted house for a literally spine-chilling scare.
Game idea: two teens, so in love that the sight of each takes the other's breath away! Get them through a maze without them asphyxiating.
"I think I'm feeling really anxious," muttered the noise that spilled out of his mouth's opening and into the ear canal of the other person.
"How are you doing today?" her mouth's voice said with her vocal cords.
Game idea: be a marriage counselor for two glass opera singers and keep them from shouting at each other at their resonant frequencies.
Game idea: "Cactus Woman Loves Balloon Man". Carefully make them hug each other without a disaster occurring.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/21871543112/gunstar-heroes - I quite like this mysterious and oddly worded introduction line.
Real life tweet: my chest hair is migrating up toward my left shoulder, as if being blown away by a summer breeze.
Remember being a kid looking at anatomy diagrams and wondering what's in the gaps between your organs. Like, is it just air or what?
"It's time for your debriefing." *slowly and professionally lowers your underpants* "That is all." *marches out of room*
The preceding pun brought to you by Twitter, the ultimate medium of communication between intelligent beings.
"Don't worry about me, I have an ace up my sleeve." *miniature remote-controlled Fokker triplane flies out of arm, knocks over poker chips*
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/MLSS-Tolstar.gif - I find it interesting how moody this scene is without that circus music playing.
If only that chilling moment when you first turn into a were-rat in NetHack was in a smaller, more gripping game.
Today I spent 3 minutes wondering if the forward-slash and the top arm of the greater-than sign are perpendicular to each other. /> #XML
"The complete WSDL is detailed in Appendix A 'Error: Reference source not found' on page Error: Reference source not found."
Tip: Shout "Mwahahahaha! The hunter has become the hunted!" every single time you flip opponent pieces in Reversi.
Tip: When playing Poker, if two cards of the same number show up in the flop, quickly shout "SNAP!" and grab them for an instant win.
Tip: Whip out a video iPod playing a magical girl transformation sequence every time your pawn becomes a queen in Chess.
"Bug: a bearded, ragged Mario just climbed out of a pit I fell into about two weeks ago. Then he bit me to death and took my place. :( "
"Bug: clicking New Game just fills the screen with a rotating black-and-white spiral and a voice softly orders me to give the game 5 stars."
"Bug: shooting a space invader causes it to become pregnant and give birth to an invader-cannon hybrid - half jellyfish, half war machine."
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/3385 - Today I made: an unusual hack of Gridball. I guess the unreliability of your CPU ally is kind of interesting...
In some places I quite like the colour scheme of Brutally Unfair Knytt.
Here's a free #LD48 idea: a beat-em-up where you hit people with a globe.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/On_An_Iron_Isle/ - Here's a HTML5 port of a lost Leon game I forgot I made. This game is very hard, so don't feel ashamed to ragequit.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/21344286492/warioware-inc-mega-microgame-warios - Don't panic, I just un-broke today's thrilling image file.
Game idea: massively multiplayer version of that shaggy dog joke about cornflakes trying to climb to the top of the box.
Game idea: tiny ninja inside a giant glass bottle tries to wall-jump out the top, without their wall-jumps causing the bottle to tip over.
"This game is open-source... IF you can find the source! Your first clue: a baker's excess makes the moon burst her dress."
Game idea: RPG where the numbers 0-9 can only appear once onscreen. Manipulate stats so that you hit with the 9 and your enemies get 2 or 1.
Are there any other browser games with level editing and sharing functionality on par with OmniLudiCon?
I wish KnyttTube was a reality.
You won't believe how long the public had to put up with those 'Snacks in the Palm of Your Hand!!' ads when sandwiches were first invented.
You won't believe how long the public had to put up with those 'Stories in the Palm of Your Hand!!' ads when books were first invented.
Best Things About Desk Jobs: can't get eaten by bears, spinning chairs, can't get eaten by wolves, free water, can't get eaten by alligators
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Bind_Her/ - I fixed the HTML5 port of my Qix bondage game "Bind Her!". An all new ground-breaking approach to sexualising Qix.
"The <VR> tag was to be used for virtual reality web pages, with a 'dist' value stating how far beyond the mind's eye it should take place."
"8 HOURS ENDING: The Princess used a smuggled Koopa shell to get infinity lives. She remains forever young while Mario grows old and dies."
"9-10 HOURS ENDING: The Princess has used the dungeon copy of Brain Age to become superintelligent. Mario's kids have equations for heads."
"10+ HOURS ENDING: The Princess is a skeleton. Mario's children have bare skulls for heads."
Critical hit!!
http://www.biggt.net - What? @bi66t's website is gone? (Well, at least his recent games are still at http://sandbox.yoyogames.com/users/biggt...)
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Gridball/ - Here's a HTML5 port of an old game of mine, "Gridball". The Electroplankton and Auditorium influence is obvious.
Funny thing about Topsy: there's a "Sync to Twitter" button that, if EVEN ONE PERSON were to click, would cause the mirror to be erased.
http://l.j-factor.com/misc/thecatamites.zip - Several hundred thecatamites tweets I ripped from topsy .com, which has mirrors of everyone's tweets for some reason.
Fish Face.
http://l.j-factor.com/gamemaker/MacFishFace.zip Bugfix of my Mac port of @Teknopants's Fish Face (fixed end text colour). No one reported this. Is it really that hard?
"To counteract long exposure times, the subjects of photographs taken prior to 1900 were usually killed and taxidermied first."
A boy finds a corpse in a bog. A toad sits in its open mouth. This distorts his views of death and amphibian reproduction for a long time.
In memory of @thecatamites's tweet feed, my next 300 tweets will subtly allude to burying corpses in peat bogs in a veiled, tenuous manner.
"This game is a dark psychological horror, in which friendly everyday environments have been twisted into intense platforming challenges."
"This game is a dark psychological horror. Here's a spoiler: at the end, it turns out ELIZA is a ghost."
"This game is a dark psychological horror. The last boss is Freud wielding a chainsaw during a blackout."
"This game is a dark psychological horror, as indicated by 'PLEASE WAKE UP' being scrawled in blood on every surface."
"This game is a dark psychological horror. It covertly uses your webcam to slowly replace all the graphics with your own screaming head."
"This game is a dark psychological horror. All of the graphics are in silhouette and mirrored to resemble a Rorschach inkblot."
Now that all my followers are asleep, here's a Real Life Tweet: Seven years ago I started wearing braces. Today I stop wearing retainers.
"The phrase 'repressing memories' just sounds so tawdry. I prefer the term 'cognito-engineering'."
"First fire, then the wheel, then this: the BC9000, the only weapon that could combat the mega-lions that almost drove humanity extinct."
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Operation_Lodestone/ - Here's an HTML5 port of Operation Lodestone, an obstinate, slightly @increpare inspired game of mine.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Parachute_Skiing/ - Here's a HTML5 port of Parachute Skiing, a silly ditty that ended up on the IGF Pirate Kart.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Terrible_Turret/ - A HTML5 port of The Terrible Terrible Turret, one of my purest games. Its inspiration on my later work is immense.
"I dislike all slashfic, unless it's Gordon Freeman (body w/ no voice) and Overwatch Lady (voice w/ no body) combining into a whole person."
http://l.j-factor.com/gamemaker/MacFishFace.zip - Here's an unofficial Mac port of Fish Face, a one-button game by @Teknopants. This game is excellent!
Now that we're almost upon the release of Fez, everyone should replay @increpare's 2D demake, Defez - http://www.increpare.com/2008/12/defez/
http://l.j-factor.com/gamemaker/MacPauseAhead.zip - Here's a Mac port of Pause Ahead, a MolyJam game by @askiisoft.
http://l.j-factor.com/emulation/ - Here are most of the Mario hacks I made last year, if you would so recall.
http://l.j-factor.com/emulation/ScrollingMarioBros.nes - I have not forgotten that this is Super Mario Bros. ROM Hacking Month. Now here's "Scrolling Mario Bros."
"What? 'Who died and made me king?' Well let me start at the A's" *pulls phonebook from the irradiated rubble extending in all directions*
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Prizeturret/ - Here's a HTML5 port of my GDC Pirate Kart game Prizeturret.
"I regret to inform you that since you wrote that Tumblr post in work hours, all of the resultant Likes must be turned over to the company."
"Word from the sponsor - we have to use this human skull instead of a baseball today. What if it shatters? He says that counts as 666 runs."
Game idea: text-based James Bond fighter where you enter puns to perform moves. "You need to keep a cool head" = stab face with icicle.
Porn whose premise contains the phrase "more than she bargained for!" should be about a couple haggling for access to each other's bodies.
Game idea: a striptease game where you must literally charm their pants off, blow their socks off, make them eat their hat, et cetera.
"When a chimpanzee, a crow and an average human were presented with this logic puzzle, they all ignored it and began attacking each other."
"Think of a number between 1 and 100. No, not that one! No, that number's even worse. Geez, you know what, forget it, you suck at thinking."
"My left eye does white marble," said the Medusa to the condemned man. "My right, delicious rock candy. What's your pick?"
Any videogame where you can trick physics into letting you fall forever is almost always a crowd-pleaser.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/20369524814/continuity Trivia: the 1st version of this GIF had the third card in the wrong place when it looped. It was a... continuity error.
"This weather situation has become intense! We are canceling all scheduled programs, and remotely disabling the Off buttons on your TVs."
"Update on the weather situation! The cloud has passed over the sun! We now cross to our reporter 'on the ground'... figuratively speaking!"
The time-freeze spell isn't working quite as intended.
http://l.j-factor.com/gamemaker/MacHeAnCaBoJo.zip - Here is a Mac port of Hellen and Calvin's BOGUS JOURNEY, an exhibition game by @helllllen, @calwong and @mossmouth.
A spine-tingling scene from Super Metroid.
All original content on this site, except where noted, is property of Leon, all rights reserved.