Leon's Microblog – May 2012

10 When a tweet begins with "10" I instantly assume it's a BASIC joke.
"It's definitely a murder, boys, but was the victim killed?" said the detective as he began thinking of TV halfway through that sentence.
The Controversial Theory That Shakespeare Never Actually Walked On The Moon
It's 2012 so why haven't we invented a word for those random letters you get by mashing the keyboard with your fingers
You shoot at the craps table. But the dice are your eyeballs. You lose again, and the table legs are your legs. Moral: The House Always Wins
"Place a videogame inside your body... let the crisp light of New Super Mario Bros. shine on the glossy flesh of your stomach and liver."
One of the best things about the old B&W Mac was how its low-res monochrome made its programs have strong visual continuity with each other.
The organ thief opens the patient, finds an impenetrable maze of identical viscera. "Damn, this guy's obfuscated. Quick, get me a profiler."
http://delicious.com/l_ - I remembered I have a Delicious account I just barely used. Something in it might be new to you.
Twitter would be funnier if it auto-posted whatever you'd typed in the box as soon as you hit zero characters.
You are locked in a dungeon. >TAKE KEY You messily devour the key. >UNLOCK DOOR You messily devour the door.
Game idea: A fighting ring. Two clowns on stilts. Only one will leave twice as tall as they entered.
Game idea: A fighting ring. Two barbers. Two razors. The first to hold the other's beard aloft wins the match.
Game idea: A fighting ring. Two surgeons. Two scalpels. The first to hold the other's appendix aloft wins the match.
Game idea: 15-puzzle-type game. Conceal dead pixels in an LCD display by shuffling them to parts of the screen that never get lit anyway.
Hey, wait a second, the music in the original TV ads for Pogs was just "Surfin' Bird" but with "bird" replaced with "Pog". #RealityIsALie
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Super_Calamity_Annie_Galaxy/ - Here's a browser port of Super Calamity Annie Galaxy, an @auntiepixelante fangame of mine from 2009.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=73616750 - Here's another Portal 2 puzzle. The inspiration from my two previous puzzles is obvious.
Game idea: A slice-of-life game where you try and reattach your bedsheets to the bottom of the mattress without actually leaving your bed.
If ■■■ find ■■■ can no ■■■■■■ understand ■■■■■■■ words, then ■■■■ trial version of ENGLISH™ is ■■■■■■ over. Subscribe for $25 a month today!
"The President has raised the HUGCON level to 2. Intercontinental ballistic teddies are being trained on cold Soviet orphans as we speak."
Retweet this if you smile involuntarily whenever the finance news mentions "major miners".
"Give me all your Likes," said the robber. "This is a bank-" began the teller. "Give me the Likes. My Tumblr is lollingblackouts, no space."
"Dad jokes are like lightning strikes - count the seconds between the joke and the groans of 'Daaaaad' to determine how awful they are."
"This test has a finite number of possible solutions. If you try 2 solutions per second, you will probably solve it before you asphyxiate."
"This chamber is partly immersed in Penalty Water. Touching the Penalty Water will result in transferral to the Penalty Morgue immediately."
Last night I dreamed I was trapped in a false alternate reality where no one works, and I had to escape to get to my real-life job in time.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/23564651381/super-princess-peach - The secret to making a game about emotions is to just give up and make it about the four classical elements instead.
Tip: Next time you're about to say a sentence, first say "Fee fie foe" and then the last syllable of the sentence with an F on the front.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/23443042532/space-invaders - I like that even the stark, monochrome Space Invaders attract screens had these small bits of humour in them.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=73012820 - Here's another Portal 2 puzzle of mine. I like this one a lot. It feels fresh.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=72871266 - Here's another Portal 2 puzzle, named after a phrase I kept repeating to myself as I was making it.
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/3552 - Here's a 3-player tug-o-war game I'd deemed "not good enough for KotM" but then polished and released anyway.
Hundreds of question marks in the shape of a man. You ask his name. He utters the upward inflection at the end of a question for six seconds
http://www.steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=72666820 - Here's another Portal 2 puzzle by me. Think of the previous one as a warm-up for this.
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/3522 - I uploaded the Game Maker source code to several of my previous games. Have a look if you so want.
Game idea: Forensic Tennis. With only the clues in a few still photos from certain points in the timeline, reconstruct a game of tennis.
"This may look like a regular 2D platformer, but... behold!" *camera zooms out revealing humanity's utter insignificance in the universe*
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=72387045 - Here's another quick Portal 2 puzzle by yours truly.
"I must apologise. That influx of Victory Blood was intended as a reward for our half-man-half-leech test subjects. And it was fresh, too."
"Oh dear. It seems the Victory Explosives designed to cathartically destroy the chamber after you solve it have been prematurely activated."
Masses of zombies aimlessly mill around the city street. This feels good. Each of them pretends that everyone else is alive again.
"Ignore their cries!" he hollered over the advancing zombies' pleas. "Join us and the pain can stop," one begged. "We can be dead together."
"I have a plan to make anime blue hair a reality, but I must warn you: it does involve mandrill DNA."
I wonder how much humanity's psychological relationship to the natural world was transformed by the discovery of human-caused extinction.
"It's called magic. It lets you violate the fundamental laws of the universe in order to kill things. Killing is just that difficult, see."
"It's called a sword. Says here you put it inside enemies' bodies to make all their body fluids splash out. A 'noble and dignified weapon'."
"Your game doesn't have to be new. It just has to be... you."
Darn, I just realised I could've included the Marowak ghost from Pokémon Red in yesterday's tumblr post: http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/22926485098/mother-3-drill-dozer
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=71776692 - Instead of doing something productive, I made this Portal 2 puzzle yesterday.
http://l.j-factor.com/amateur_variety_twitter/webbedspace-1-3199.csv - Here is a tab-delimited raw dump of all of my tweets prior to this one. #Tweet3200
Maybe Donkey Kong Country would have been better in full British claymation instead.
The Firefox Fox, it should be noted, is just Firefox's logo - its mascot is a grinning green rectangle called Zwizzley. #FOSS #FOSSMascots
I wish browser loading throbbers were still a thing, so we could watch the Chrome Simon flash or the Firefox Fox repeatedly lick its crotch.
I notice I'm approaching the 3200 tweet limit, which, when passed, will render my very first tweets _permanently inaccessible_.
Bug: instead of walking to the right, Mario's feet drag the world to the left, causing disastrous earthquakes and environmental damage.
"If you feel the need to exercise while at your desk, please move your knees rapidly to wobble your calves until you are invigorated."
"This Power Crystal can power the crystal!" cried Power Krystal, seconds before I dragged over this sentence and hit Backspace.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/DKC-4Color-WinkysWalkway.gif - It's funny how removing colours causes this nearly invisible background lighting effect to emerge.
I just got around to listening to the @selectbutton April Fools-cast. It's pretty good.
A more scintillating animated background there never was.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/SquarePush/ - If you haven't played the Portrait levels in @increpare's ECT, here's a quick demo showing why I love them.
Now that I think about it, Brainpan probably also owes a little something to The Tube Monkey Game: http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=27516
I tried to record Knytt Stories footage in Windows and then open the AVI in Mac OS X.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Brainpan/ - Here's a NEW game by me, called "Brainpan". There's a party in your head, and everyone's invited.
*he clicks Tweet even as a thousand howling voices inside his skull implore him to reconsider*
The first time you get robbed by a nymph and chase her around the level for ten minutes is so much more meaningful than most of the endgame.
People wax eloquent about complex emergent happenings in NetHack, but I find the smaller, unavoidable moments of discovery more interesting.
I like that moment in NetHack when you die and are told that all the "coloured gems" you painstakingly collected were just worthless glass.
Videogame title I saw in a dream: "Mario & Tron: The Ancient Treasure." #ScrapingTheBottomOfTheBarrel
"This is your final warning! The threshold for reducing your Victory Confection to a single coconut shred is very, very imminent!!"
"Your further violation of the laws of testing and physics has reduced your Victory Confection to a sultana, and my Victory Emotion to sad."
"I regret to inform you that your cheating solution to this test has reduced your Victory Confection from a cookie to a sugar cube."
Samus launched yet another missile into the giant insect's prone body. "Is it dead enough now?!" she shouted. Still the door didn't open.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Disc_Gunship/ - Here's a HTML5 port of Disc Gunship, my recent Darius-inspired @Vlambeer-inspired horizontal shmup.
Darn it, Mario ROM Hacking month is over and I forgot to make that SMB3 hack that turns the Chain Chomps into bouncy stretchy penises.
"Alright men, this is it," boomed the sergeant. "Send your loved ones your final tweet, and unfollow everyone... except God."
Near the soldier, the golden egg hatched. "Welcome to Heaven, kid, 'cos it ain't get better'n this!" she grinned as she fired the bazooka.
I wonder what other puzzles have goals that are strongly defined by the manner in which you solve them.
I love the Portrait levels in English Country Tune which are strongly self-referential - changing your shape in order to paint your shape.
Idea: a game where you can hit Ctrl-V to paste a screenshot, and it identifies where in the game it is and changes the game state to match.
"To help you solve these tests, here are photos of previous test subjects dying horribly. Schadenfreude is known to be a strong motivator."
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