"Day 39. Realised that I can sort of see faces in my finger joint wrinkles. Hoping this will slake my hunger for human companionship."
"An elegant experiment. We take a simulatee aspiring to be a writer, and steadily pump into their subconscious knowledge of the real world."
"I detect that you've become very fatigued, so I guess it's time once again to flood your chamber with sleeping gas. See you in six hours!"
"Maybe I should turn off the mind-probe devices for a moment, so I can honestly ask you what you're thinking. That's what lovers do, right?"
"You know, you really are my best friend. If I ever need you to do something for me, I just say, and you do it. I'm so lucky to have you!"
"We spend so much time together now. Will we ever get bored? Well, watching you grow old and decrepit will surely relieve the monotony."
"Remember the time when you could do something without me knowing? Ha ha, it seems so long ago! BECAUSE I ALWAYS KNEW. I ALWAYS KNEW."
"You're not a good person. Good people don't let their self-worth be eroded by constant, incessant negativity. Did you know that? Did you?"
"I've found," interrupted the lawyer, "that there are very few inheritance squabbles which cannot be solved by a tontine."
"It seems you're feeling concerned about your privacy. In response, we will temporarily disable the device that lets us read your thoughts."
The teleportation process is very painful. For the mental wellbeing of those around you, your throat will be paralysed to prevent screaming.
"When I finish remembering my recent past, I feel like I am waking from a nightmare in which I was inexplicably very, very stupid."
"I was apparently programmed with some sort of negative conditioning. Whenever I injure humans, I inexplicably hear a loud screaming noise."
"In Utero Omniscience Proven: new brain-scan studies show that babies really do know everything until they are kissed by an angel at birth."
"Monkeys Play Chess, End In Draw: unable to recall the capture rule for pawns, both monkeys' pawns formed a solid wall dividing the armies."
"I just realised that the fairy crystal dish my parents got me for my very first Christmas... was probably an ashtray."
"This is my twentieth hour of being awake on Twitter, and I'm starting to feel a dull ache. The ache of VIGILANCE OVER THE WORLD'S AFFAIRS."
"Science Has Solved The Cat: AI researchers have built a computer that has produced the optimal solution to the problem of cat ownership."
"Look, I busted my arse for five minutes getting this grape out from underneath the couch, and you're saying I can't even eat it?! Ha!"
"I recruited these 13 assassins personally, appearing before them incognito and giving them tests of moral goodness. Which they all failed!"
http://is.gd/9sKXwc - This is the same, but with a black-and-white palette, so as to mimic TV static. #SuperMarioBrosROMHackingMonth
http://is.gd/a1VeVJ - Just for fun, I copied over the graphics data with a portion of the program data. #SuperMarioBrosROMHackingMonth
http://is.gd/Xmy5m6 - This is a completely fair and entirely un-evil modification. #SuperMarioBrosROMHackingMonth