Hexed Hekatonkheir Hecates of Heck #IDunnoEither
"So, George, did we put enough money in the safe to justify paying a locksmith to get it out? Think, dear, think!"
"This one time Dad ran over a cat, but instead of dying the cat just looked at us and floated away. Then the gas tank was full of blood."
"Look," he said to the back seat without turning his head, "you can go to the bathroom when we're dead." He gently pressed the accelerator.
The car rolled clean over it. There was no doubt, now: overnight, all of his beer cans had suddenly become unopenable and indestructible.
"Okay, fine, I did lie about getting more petrol yesterday. ...But maybe if you did it yourself sometimes, I wouldn't have to deceive you."
"Look, I don't want to take your money, I just want help moving your wardrobe and bed so I can get back that $2 coin for my bus fare home."
"Matt... I think I'm hallucinating now." "Um, dude, I'm over here." "Look, man, don't do the ventriloquism thing right now, I'm serious."
"And, if you've just ordered a two-handed burger at a drive-in, you can steer with the elbow wheel conveniently located on the inside door."
"What's wrong, Jim?!" they shouted merrily through the door. "We're the friends you wished you had!" The banging noise grew louder.
"The aliens are haggling my ransom. They want Jupiter, too. I'm not worth Jupiter, am I? Don't they know I was only barely re-elected?"
"Congratulations!! You've pirated the one billionth illegal copy of Photoshop! Please accept these 9-carat-gold handcuffs."
I thought it was just a nursery rhyme, but I've just noticed a spider which can actually be fittingly described as both "insy" and "winsy".
"I feel dizzy," she said. "Well," he replied, "your brain has just noticed for the first time that the Earth spins madly in the void."
"It's important that you use a brittle ceramic coin for the toss. It shatters after it is flipped. Its decision is final and irrevocable."
"Oh hell," he thought as he fell past the twentieth floor, "I added it up wrong. My life insurance won't be enough to cover my debts."