On one side, a hundred thousand leaves manned by the hardiest of the Queen Ant's navy. On the other, a single Spanish galleon. Who will win?
Would it be easier for me to enjoy cars and driving if asphalt was tennis-court green instead of tar black?
Current activity: boasting in a self-aware manner about having solved this puzzle - http://www.towlr.com/babby/
"My love, I can hardly believe how close I came to never even meeting you in the first place", he said to no one.
A combination weatherhouse-cuckoo clock: twice the measuring instruments in one miniature Germanic wood cottage.
The Milgram experiment (http://bit.ly/ujyAu) is simultaneously a psychology experiment and a true work of interactive art.
What neurosurgeons don't tell you is that brains SCREAM when light first falls on them. They have to sing them lullabies to calm them down.
Floaters, wandering particles in your vitreous jelly. You behold the entire world from underneath a tainted pool!
Hearts can't realise that each beat only gives them a moment of life in which to beat again. If they did, they would all just accept death.
Is it not annoying when a perfectly fine sf story suddenly transforms into Genesis chapter 2 at the end? ...Me too. http://bit.ly/o4mMR
They knew not what had motivated them, but it could not have possibly been their own volition or reason.
They believed that a disease was the reason why people had become monsters. Later, they believed it was mass psychosis. Later, mind control.
It was revealed that many had voluntarily joined the zombies. Most had simply wanted to live. Some disbelieved that they would ever kill.
The cured struggled to recall and describe their diseased mental state. But nearly all denied recalling any emotions, let alone happiness.
One of the great controversies was the word "zombie" itself. The word made monsters out of those who were the disaster's real victims.
Many zombies continued to be killed, even while the cure was being proliferated. Nobody knew whether to charge the killers with murder.
She grew to regret being cured of zombification; the burden of having both killed and tasted human flesh was too much for her to bear.
"...and then the police came and arrested all the zombies, and everyone who was still alive lived happily ever after." #thistweetiscanon
The sun is almost certainly oblivious to our existence. It thinks its only children are Mercury and Venus.
"The latest reports / The freshest events / For seeing what's happened / our news is the best!" #newsbulletinjingles
My reflection has fallen in love with my shadow. I sense that they intend to elope, leaving me invisible to all but direct sight.
Idea: a videogame puzzle where the heavily implied intended solution is to open it in the level editor and edit out an immovable obstacle.
Wishing that you were funnier is still a selfish wish EVEN IF you were only wishing it for your Twitter followers' sake.
Very occasionally I wonder if there isn't some horrible insect lying drowned at the bottom of the glass of milk before me.
"She stared at me because I had hideous acne. I stared at her because she had square breasts. It was the most exquisite kind of love."
His left eye could see 5 seconds into the future, but the most good it did him was letting him see his mother die twice.
Current activity: quickly dragging windowed YouTube videos to try and make the video people fall over.
(A cappella) "Did someone get shot / Did someone buy shoes / Let's find out / It's time for the news!" #newsbulletinjingles
An old man on a park bench, alone. He closes a worn 90-year old children's book called "How To Make Friends", and tosses it away in disgust.
It's 2AM and I still feel inadequate and unfulfilled. But to go to sleep now would be to admit defeat!
Spoiler: the First Rule of Fight Club and the Second Rule of Fight Club... are actually the same rule!
The Second Rule of Fight Club is the only reason the First Rule is so famous. But does First Rule ever admit this? No! First Rule is a jerk.
Bugged sound output from a Game Maker project of mine: http://bit.ly/16KIIX (...You could use it as a ringtone?)
Idea: Instead of guns that shoot bullets that make bulletholes, guns that simply shoot bulletholes. (Advantage: no ballistics evidence!)
"Most importantly, the wise man observes but does not ever judge" said the guru, before smashing the pupil's groin with a gavel.
"The wise man lets all the world inside of him" said the guru, before tackling the pilgrim and injecting him with a syringe full of air.
"To achieve inner calm, one must first embrace stillness" said the guru, before freezing the student with ice powers and cacking madly.
"The wise man knows that that which he has lost, he never truly needed" said the guru, before nicking the acolyte's wallet and running away.
"The strongest man is weak if he cannot control himself" said the guru, before possessing the warrior's body and making him punch himself.