Leon's Microblog – August 2019

"Wait a second. It's an ordinary household object, but it has supernatural abilities that require it be treated with reverence and fear…? But it's just a… yet it's… that means… hold on… that doesn't… wait… hggh… splutter…"
Guybrush Thesecretofmonkeyisland
"A billion means two million. Basic etymology."
Using increasing powers of 10 for CSS z-indexes is the new using increasing multiples of 10 for BASIC line numbers
"The prophecy," *points to aged comment block marked TODO* "stated that someday, a promised wrapper class would appear, uniting the two feuding APIs in an era of prosperity… but alas, none appeared, and our world was cast into oblivion." *points to "Last commit: 5 years ago"*
*runs up to unsupervised library photocopier, turns the settings dial to "paper -> real life", and starts hurriedly feeding in badass elderly women barbarian village fic*
*I stumble into the room with wet, bloodshot eyes after hours of absence* I GUESS THE BITBUCKET… FINALLY LIVED UP TO ITS NAME!!!!!! *I stumble out before anyone can figure out what this is about*
, but enough about Smash and MTG,
Is there anything I get more guilty schadenfreude from than seeing competitive game players gradually discover that some new build or character is actually sincerely broken and them inexorably losing their heads as they realise that this is it, this is their life from now on
Listen. Mario Maker story mode lets you make levels easier by adding elements from a limited pool. Nintendo missed an obscure yet huge opportunity by not letting you upload levels that have a pool of insertable elements, so you can recreate The Incredible Machine style gameplay.
The Mario Maker community taxonomic division between "Troll levels" and "Kaizo levels" feels like the divergent evolution of surrealism and abstract expressionism. And what's interesting is that the so-called "Kaizo block" has much more in common with the former than the latter.
RPG characters with more statistics based on how highly they value quantification and abstraction. The fighter has Atk and Def, while the wizard has Strength, Dexterity, Agility, Constitution, Resilience, Intellect, Creativity, Wisdom and Will, with individual Exp. bars for each.
Doctor at the combination general practice and roller coaster park: "You certainly can't go to work, but [DROWNED OUT BY SCREAMING NOISES] week's bedrest is all you need." Patient: "Am I well enough to use the roller coaster?" Doctor, offering note and ticket stub: "Absolutely."
You come in and find that, once again, the Painting Cat and your real cat have swapped places. You walk up to the painting and poke it. Warm, breathing fur instead of paint. "You're not fooling anyone," you mutter.
"Yeah… I invented the "Dark Cutie" creepypasta. It was me. …Never heard of it? Here… let me tell you it." *walks to the lightswitch and switches it off* "………………………I'm cute."
"The role I've chosen for myself in defeating fascism is to be the person who stands up and shouts "LET'S PARTY" once we've defeated fascism. …What? No, I hate parties, I'll just step aside after that."
You have 1 Leonergy! Gain 1 unit in 30:00:00, or buy 10 units NOW for 99 gems! >pay 1 Leonergy You get a Tweet! "*my MTG opponent attacks with an animated red-green land* I've heard of a Stomping Ground, but this is ridiculous!" You have 0 Leonergy. Gain 1 unit in 29:59:54, or
We're all suffering here in the final millennium, so I'm offering a random act of kindness tonight: if you made fanart of the last battle of EarthBound and drew the player-characters in their human forms instead of their robot forms, just know that I've decided to forgive you.
Accidentally putting a half-eaten chocolate bar in the party's Key Items pocket, rendering it unable to be eaten for the entire remainder of the game.
Meanwhile, in speedruns,
Who called the new Terry Cavanagh game Dicey Dungeons and not Super Hexahedron *the bone-rattling din of a bunch of people quietly looking up that word, before pursing their lips and muttering "hmm, that checks out"*
Now that I've finally downloaded a Windows keyboard layout that ports over the Macintosh option-key combos, I'm pleased to announce that it's over for y'all.
The Leon List Of Endings Minecraft Could've Had Instead Of "Shoot A Dragon": * Build a tower to the sky, then strike the Dome of Heaven with a pickaxe * Abruptly walk out of the wilderness into a modern city * Craft glasses that, when worn, turn the cubes into actual shapes
Time for my opinion on the big gossip around town: the rumours of Kizuna Ai's original actor being surreptitiously ousted and replaced with soundalikes is just the Kemono Friends thing all over again.
Project M was born in a perfect sweetspot of history: right after game and esports streaming had emerged, and just before serious money and sponsor orgs rolled in and made running an entire fighting game scene for a heavily modded Nintendo® game unpalatable.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl being so utterly unbearable for competitive play did such unexpected good for the world… as a result, the two best competitive platform fighters of 2013 were a GameCube game and a literal ROM hack.
Now referring to myself as "post-timeskip Leon" because I didn't tweet for two days
Here's my very important takeaway (or "take" for short) on the enemy team in the new Pokémon: the "football hooligan" concept is fine, but having them wield vuvuzelas is just dredging up all the old negativity and exoticism that vuvuzelas got in 20-freaking-10. Thanks and bless.
Point 3, of course, is discovered just when the new web UI adds bookmarks and account-switching to obviate point 2, in accordance with some kind of entropy function.
Can't believe "porn artists flee tumblr to twitter" and "if you fav porn art, the algorithm foists the posts on everyone around you" have been followed up with "if you don't fav porn art, the algorithm just stops showing the posts to that account's actual followers".
Time to configure the RetroArch keyboard controls for each of my emulator cores *several hours later, I am rereading this config line with increasing mental exertion*
Can't stop thinking about a mixtape consisting of this game, Ghost Hospital (https://spitblaze.itch.io/ghost-hospital) and Tropical Depression Tendency (https://deltahead.itch.io/tropical-depression-tendency-part-1). It'd be perfect.
I'm very glad there's an entire viable subgenre of horror that's just "what if hallways were long"
There's something uniquely bleak about "debt-or-die" games like this and Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland… even the act of picking up a single bit of gold is suffused with this sense of desperation, of pathetic powerlessness.
https://lovegames.itch.io/rxcovery – I'm playing Rxcovery, and let me say, taking this high-speed dungeon-runner lightly is a great way to get rxkt!!!!! Prepare to route this one out like it's a timed text adventure.
The current hot performative meme on ghost social media is to stand exactly inside a living person, then lean forward and take a bite of their sandwich at the exact moment they were about to. This is, of course, all word-of-mouth, as photos and videos imprison the ghosts forev
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