Leon's Microblog – November 2018

This is just some all-male band's debut album, but I like the art anyway.
Science reporters gleefully announcing the newly-bred Instant Death Thorns are fully climate-change resistant, and can replace trees and grasses as they go extinct. Thorns causing instant death is regrettable but "too hard to breed out" due to all involved scientists dying instan
Days after moving into your eerily cartoonish space cottage on a gas giant's ring, you're still unsure what the ring is made of. Is it safe to walk barefoot on a flat orange sheet that barely resembles space dust? The realtor didn't explain it, or where the tap water comes from.
Revisiting an early-game dungeon from Disc 1 to see if anything's different in Disc 3, only to find ANOTHER boss fight with Rascals The Clown, who insists that the only "filler" around here is the helium in her balloon animal attacks (which are all the same as last time).
Boss music: • Havin' Fun With A Big Galoot (vs. Giga Slime) • Havin' NO Fun With A Big PEDANT (vs. Nerd Slime) • You SO CAN'T Tap The Patron Wizard On The Same Turn You Cast It! (vs. Nerd Slime Phase 2) • If You Shan't Obey The Rules, Then Neither Shall I (vs. Ascended Slime)
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/172078161848/sonic-knuckles – People have wondered why I tagged this screenshot "Sonic & Knuckles" when it clearly also has Sonic 3 plugged into the Knuckles cartridge's top slot. As I see it, the Sonic 3 cart is basically like scanning an amiibo,
Does the game Spooky's House Of Jumpscares (which I know is called something else now) have any interesting writing in it, or is it ultimately just generic horror brutality?
Does anyone know of any reference sites for lesser known TCGs/CCGs/board games that lay out scans of all the cards for nice procrastinative perusing? Thinking of sites like NetrunnerDB https://netrunnerdb.com/en/set/core2/images or the dozen plus MTG sites out there.
Today's my birthday, and if you want to do any small thing for it, you can play the game I released three weeks ago http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Tiny_Sorceress_Second_Chance/ No, there's no sound, yes, those things in it are "some kind of a joke".
"We've imprisoned your mind in this VR hellsc– landscape to teach you the error of your ways. Each of these skeletons is a game you torrented, and–" *chiptune music suddenly interrupts as the words ANOTHER NEW CORRECTIONAL VR TITLE JAILBROKEN BY CRACKXLORDS swirl into view*
"Well, time to get in this shower and stay there until either all this stress melts off, or I do." *flesh swiftly dissolves into runny red blobs, leaving a bare central nervous system that has already hardened into solid diamond* "Well," *lips slide towards drain* "as I said,"
Of course, you're not invited to the class graduation ceremony, so you sneak into the premises and follow the long-fingered shadow teacher to Dark Graduation, where all the expelled kids are told that, no matter what happens, doors will always be open for them in the Shadow City.
Finally unclenching your fists after many long, hypervigilant years, only to be astonished at the number of fingers you have. Did you always have this many? You don't remember having more than three, maybe four. What would you even use them for?
"There was a time when sunlight respected humanity." *steps out of lit hallway into warm darkness and a chorus of birdsong* "Now, it just goes through our bodies, our eyes." *clicks on torch* "Only human-made light has yet to abandon us, grow tired of us."
Flipbook doodle on the lower-right corner of right-hand pages in college textbook, and flipbook doodle on lower-left corner of left-hand pages in the same book, each animated to gently stroke each other's pen indentations through the paper, back and forth forever
"And lastly, a tiny sample of DNA… to create the perfect organism!" *horks and spits into cauldron* *their familiar immediately runs up and vomits half a litre of cat food into it*
*realises it's possible to remove an irritating stimulus from the immediate environment without needing to request nigh-unattainable permission* "Oh, my god," *removes the stimulus and immediately feels stress levels decrease* "This, this power…"
The latest software update deleted your unauthorised "historic Earth" preset in the ship's VR room, and now you're trying to hack the "current Earth" preset by changing the dust-gray cloud cover to blue, and scaling up the synthetic grass to tree-size.
Reassuring your friends that these "haunted talking painting women" cluttering your apartment aren't a threat, they're just looking for special someones to take their place in their paintings so they can become real, plus they're not haunted, they're cursed, there's a difference
La Mulana TCG videogame where all the cards only have flavour text, and whenever you cast a card you have to decipher its flavour text into a cost (discard cards, pay weights, etc) and pay that cost to receive its hidden effects.
Unintended output
If Mario was in MTG he'd be a 1/1 and if Bowser was in MTG he'd be an 8/4. …Captain Toad? Tch… obviously, he'd be a Planeswalker… because he sure as hell can't jump.
"FZZZ Playing entry 1 FZZZ I'm telling you, our planet is in grave peril from Entity X, and the Senate refuses toFZZZ Playing entry 2 FZZZou survived? Yes, but unless we find the 12 energy crys–" *black furred bossbeast bursts through wall, destroying hologram projector epically*
The aforementioned Casey Bat is actually very interesting to me NOT just because it has a swingy upside and downside, but because the downside is mischievously hidden from the player, identifiable only by a vague line in its item description, and in its English localisation name.
That being said, some games still occasionally attempt to produce equipment that's compelling on a mechanical level, although mainly that's expressed through swingy, unbalanced upsides and downsides – the same "+5% crit rate" style trinket boosts, but taken to obvious extremes.
In that light, a game rewarding you for swapping out your +7 iron plate for a +12 opal plate may seem like a pointless Dragon Quest 1 design vestige, but the subtle flavour of it being an opal plate is its true reason for existing (whether the game's designers know it or not).
As I understand it, the purpose of weapons and armour in most JRPGs is similar to that of food items: NOT to give compelling mechanical options, but solely to provide a bonus layer of worldbuilding. Just as you can eat parts of the places you visit, you can wear parts of it, too.
Open poll: What to you is the most memorable turn-based-combat JRPG weapon or armour, as compared to the rest of that game's weaponry? (As in, individual equip slot items.) To even things out, you can't say any Super Mario RPG weapon, or the Casey Bat from EarthBound.
Everyone just assumes the ventriloquist dummy is dressed to resemble the puppeteer instead of the other way around
Dual tech brain: Deltarune is the Frog Fractions 2 of Undertale because they both have duplicitous openings Triple tech brain: Deltarune is the The Beginner's Guide of Undertale because they both end with ominous yet hopeful lyrics sung over the credits https://dualryan.bandcamp.com/track/turn-back
"The spell keeping the kingdom frozen in time will break once its princess–" *points to cloaked woman* "–has "broken the purity of her lips", which we THINK means she has to say a swear." "So?" "She can't remember what swears were like 100 years ago." "F… fffff… frickadilly!"
"So as we know, the cryogenic stasis pods broke down and we're still half a century from Rigel, but don't worry, thanks to our stocks of antioxidant tea and procedurally generated open-world games, all that aging will bar–" *winces briefly while bending over* "–BARELY affect us."
"Their gravestones are inscribed with unfinished works the deceased left behind, and, in their voice, desperate pleas to the living to finish their work, to complete their orphaned opuses. This is mere tradition: outside of family, the work of the dead is almost always ignored."
In Melee, only two characters in the 26-character roster were worse than Pichu. The supporters of #26, I feel, were able to weather this storm, but #25's placement broke the hearts of many, many loud children, and revealed to them the coldness of the world around them.
Smash Bros. tier lists will pop out soon after release, and with them many will be dealt the supreme indignity: being told their fave is worse than Pichu. Imagine the enormity of this. Taste it. Truly, none deserve this fate, but, like a mighty tempest, it approaches inexorably.
Though, one thing that hurts its pleasing simplicity is that you can put effects on it that aren't represented by single physical cards, such as creature abilities, or copied spells. You just have to imagine it, or use paper squares (a surprisingly vital MTG play resource).
Example: you cast spell A, "draw a card". Then put B, "rearrange top 5 cards of deck" onto A. B runs, and you move a strong card to the top. Then opponent puts C, "discard top card of deck" onto A. You put D, "put a card in hand on top of deck" onto C. D runs, C runs, A runs.
The idea of reacting to spells by casting another spell "before it" is pretty counterintuitive, but it makes for entertaining storytelling where you reveal your complex plan in reverse, and leads to fascinating plays where you subtly disrupt opponent's effects.
I like the self-explaining physicality of the MTG stack a lot – its idea is that you cast spells by placing the card on the table, then before it "runs", anyone can physically stack more spells they own on top of it. All the spells run in order from top to bottom.
Homestuck Act 6 has a bad rep. Sure, it has some of the worst individual pages Hussie ever wrote, but it's got so many lovely and grand moments, too. "Leon how many of those involved the new characters and not the old ones" OK, hang on, back up, wait a sec, hold it, FIRST OF ALL,
Rowhammer-themed Netrunner card that adds and removes "↳End the run" to an ice card 30,000 times in order to derez an adjacent one.
"Yeah, yeah, the Sky Hand is just something called a "cursor", the Auroras are just a "screensaver", sure, everything's "actually" something you lot made, wow, how mighty, I sure am humiliated." *gulps juice irreverently* "You lot coulda labeled this stuff if you cared so much."
"Well, that's it. Our toll booth contains the last surviving humans. You know what that means, right?" "YUP." *they both place phonebooks on the "toggle gate" button, then run outside and straddle it as it lifts up and down* "WOOOOO"
"So all this time you must've been wondering: are the cute cartoon bunny people a hallucination, or the bitey skeletal bunny people? Well…" *entire cast of the game shuffles in* "Real, hallucination, real, real, robot, real, hallucination, haunted robot, matte backdrop, real…"
2120: private philanthropic effort to rescue "the important bits" of world architecture from former habitable zones, including the top part of the Chrysler Building, the left half of the Eiffel Tower ("to be exhibited next to a mirror") and one "or more" Sydney Opera House shell.
To everyone lamenting that the Princess Bowser design has a boring black dress: Yeah, but the Princess Bowser thing only got big BECAUSE the dress was absurdly easy to draw. No one would've bothered if it resembled Peach's dress. It's the grease that made it a well-oiled machine.
Special message to everyone writing Pokémon fanfic in which the characters say "Oh my Arceus": Listen. You don't have to do this. You can choose a better way.
Gaining meter for your ultimate ability exclusively by receiving menacing yet desiring stares from the hot villain, instead of any action that would actually help win the game
I know what you're thinking: "should I read this tweet during a thunderstorm, when lightning could hit the building and suck me into the world portrayed in it?" Well, I've got ya covered. Tree. Flowers. Purely decorative spike pits. Badass elderly women barbarian village. Oxygen.
Unleashing the strongest triple-tech attack where all party members slam their heads into each other and fall on the ground flailing in pain, wasting 57MP and taking a staggering 41 seconds of animation.
First Edition 1997 Holographic Foil All-Zone Monthly Bus Pass Banned in tournament play due to being 20% thicker than the regular AZM Bus Pass, the lenticular hologram, when tilted, shows a flame-wreathed bus ramping off the shoulders of Michelangelo's David into a dragon's mouth
The only explanation ever given for why the RPG party's cute companion dog unlocks the strongest necromancy spells is that "it probably just likes bones, and playing dead."
Living person accidentally winning the Ghost Lottery and being hunted by a ruthless gang of rich ghosts who live off extorting millions of ghost dollars from Ghost Lottery winners, by scaring them… to ghost death.
"T-thank you. You know, it's funny, but now that you've erased that memory of mine, I'm almost wondering if it was really that bad after all. Perhaps I… overreacted–" *notices scowls of mounting irritation* "OK. OK. I'll only ask for a little hint–" *is headlocked and noogied*
*turns to hear sword-wielding teens crashing head-first through the closed automatic doors wreathed in arcs of purple electricity* "Does the sanctity of the "Sorry, We're SHUT!!" sign bear no more weight in this accursed age?!"
Just gluing all the cards in your party sorcerer's Deck-o'-Wonders to a rake handle and slapping the enemy with most of them at once, hoping they get hit with at least slightly more debuffs than buffs
Students sneaking into the fast-travel portal in the gym equipment shed are dismayed to find it leads to the town cemetery, the one dungeon in town that has even worse background music than the school's.
"And over here, Acacia's our healer. She's half-human half-flower–" "All flower." "What?" *already rubbing pollen on the guest's face* "My flower side won."
Early English translation of alien programming language whose data structure names are existentially uncomfortable to human minds, such as UnfreeablePointer and SentientHashtable
"In honour of the new Smash Bros. game's competitive options, I too am removing all the hazards and damaging terrain from my body." *removes lip rings, unfastens studded choker, places pointy glasses on bedside cabinet*
Hour-by-hour nervous tabbing to your torrent client to see if the only seeder for Rikki's Bamboozling Cartoon Adventure episode 157.mkv ("Rikki and Demonica both turn into kittens! [broken screenshot link]") opened their client for their 20 bafflingly arbitrary minutes a week.
"Heh… you might be ten levels higher than me and have spells, but look at this blade… look closer… yeah, reeeal close… that's right… +4% gold on kill. Just try me… just gimme a try… you're dead already, dude."
"Late stage mushroomising… all my thoughts and desires have been replaced with an urge to release my spores. My body hasn't started developing spores, or even any mushroom-like features at all yet, but, you know, it could happen."
"It is I, king of the catacombs! Once did I rule my people, until they betrayed me by dying. Once did I rule my castle, until it betrayed me by crumbling. Once did I rule my flesh, until it betrayed me by rotting. Only cave walls stand true, only bones are loyal."
Everyone else: "Deltarune's executable version number is 6.6.6" Me, in the most top-quality timezone:
*I am informed that a game's skill tree perks do, in fact, stack* Wuh?! *bolts upright* Hrmm? Huhhh? HURRHH?!
"I had hoped in vain, my former apprentice, that at least you could be trusted to borrow vast power–" *flails at TV remote in their hand* "–without growing to mistake it for your own!!" *tries to wrestle it away, only to plunge off the couch*
"It's a myth that science is inherently emotionless. Cold rationality is just another emotion, like zero is just another number. If anything, maniacal cackling and erotic salivation only mean I'm MORE focused… Would a PASSIONLESS scientist… even CARE about what they're DOING…"
This song… was actually just as good as the album art.
Despite their enticing romantic imagery, engineering efficiency meant that the pearl-and-gold sky-galleons sailing the clouds with a cargo of dreams soon had to give way to the "awkwardly floating truck" school of airship design.
""Try reading a book", you say? Hah! I hone my mind exclusively with nutritional information on the backs of chip packets." *unfolds it* "Behold how small the text is! Maximum difficulty."
In the full version of Deltarune you still won't be able to phone home in the Dark World, but Sans's phone number inexplicably still works.
"In order to get as much money as possible, you must destroy everything in the world that isn't money." https://twitter.com/mcclure111/status/1061689900154654720
Man, this podcast about the MTG colours' philosophies is great *camera pans to reveal I'm listening to Ken Nordine's Colors* ––– Let's hear what the critics are saying about this tweet… "Welp!!! Leon's done it again!" –AngryPoster "My only two interests! Together at last!" –Anon
This same thing happened in Smash 4 with Animal Crossing: New Leaf's Villager vs. Isabelle, and having to wait for the next game for the "true" star to be playable. Most of the time, though, characters that miss the "Smash Bros. cycle" miss out for good.
Boring Smash Bros. tweet: Incineroar bothers me because it seems obvious it was chosen early in Sun/Moon's development, before the game's true breakout star (Mimikyu) had time to reach its audience. Its only consideration seems to be moveset potential over the other starters.
I played part five! (https://nomnomnami.itch.io/dreaming-treat) I'm glad that this series tells a cute fluffy love story while knowing that threat and hostility is omnipresent in the world.
Sans's ultimate purpose in the full version of Deltarune will be simply that, next time Kris is in a Dark World, Sans will slip into the dark room, place Kris's hand in a bowl of warm water, and then slip out.
Tonight, in MTG Is Just Javascript: it's tickling me red that MTG has nested eval() strings in some of its cards, and in this case has double nesting, complete with having to use both double and single-quoting delimiters.
RPG Maker horror game that silently removes small interstitial rooms from areas each time you backtrack, gradually excising more and more rooms until the game world inexplicably becomes two rooms total.
Time for an #Undertale tweet. Mew Mew Pushy Trucky. This was an #Undertale tweet, and keep watching for a tweet about game mechanics or some garbage, I dunno, I've been rooting around this human's mind for week and it's like a landfill of the same half-finished comic page over an
Current Leon procrastination status
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvxvzLVGTGs – Pleased to hear that Susie (Not The Magenta One) (The Other Magenta One) is being patched into that new Kirby game that sucks (but at least it now has over 12 major characters so it can disappoint you a dozen times in a row).
Wing Kirby's absence from Planet Robobot, by the way, is why that game is *this screenshot slides into frame* almost an improvement on the series's colonialist politics.
All right. *finishes sipping and places empty glass on a coaster* Now remove that crappy headdress from Wing Kirby, too. https://twitter.com/AllSourceGaming/status/1060056482664927232
While Loop That Terminates After 50 Loops "Just In Case" / Try-Catch Block Around Code That Always Silently Fails is my new defensive-coding-idiom romantic pairing
I'll be annoyed once the unstoppable extinction of all plant life on Earth becomes scientific consensus and the most the ruling class will say to us in response is "carpe diem" and "enjoy the world while it lasts" stuff. Like… we already had to do that. That phrase is in Latin.
For those who don't quite remember what he did, his work includes: 1. This track https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/explore-2 2. This track https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/doctor-2 3. This track https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/endless-climb-2 4. The entire soundtrack for Spelunky (Original Freeware Version) https://twitter.com/ireneista/status/1059646891481169920
"Note: since String.prototype.repeat() returns output larger than its input, it violates the Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy. Thus, running it repeatedly will cause your laptop to grow heavier and heavier until it potentially breaks through your desk, legs, floor, or bedrock."
Time for a #Deltarune tweet. Kaard K. Roulxs. This was a #Deltarune tweet, and stay tuned after the watershed for a tweet about Javascript or whatever the heck else this human apparently likes
"Magic is available in any region which contains vast supplies of the element "gold". Any agents in regions deprived of gold must instead rely on "Techs"."
"Pregnant flies… are beautiful… the miracle of life… inside a creature of death!! Truly… nothing more… exemplifies… the paradox… of existence… So… I welcome you… to my combination… breedery for flies… and world domination headquarters…"
Victory Message – 20 G Makes the "You Win !" message appear in the battle dialog, confusing enemies into thinking they lost. However, less aware enemies will be confused into thinking they won, so act accordingly to make your escape.
ADVENTURES IN CHARACTER NAME HISTORY 2011: Paranatural names a major character "Rich Spender" 2018: Deltarune names a major character "Noelle Holiday" *the tweet abruptly ends here*
2-frame walkcycle brain: Deltarune is the Mother 3 of Undertale 4-frame walkcycle brain: Deltarune is the Majora's Mask of Undertale 1-frame sliding-along-the-ground brain: Deltarune is the Little King's Story to Undertale's Moon
https://medium.com/@MirrorLogician/reslicing-the-color-pie-d70d31bda6a4 – Just read this article which attempts arguing that the MTG "enemy colours" pairs are actually allies and vice-versa, and I find the notion of White and Black magic being allies way more viscerally intuitive than a lot of MTG's canonical enemy-ally pairs.
If you want to save this game locally, or just distrust the HTML5 platform, I've added a native Windows zip build - http://l.j-factor.com/gamemaker/TinySorceressSecondChance.zip
"Here's what happened - the climate-change-reversing interstellar sun shield project got the green light from the King, but only on the condition that it be shaped like his fully nude body, "in peak Roman virility". So, we've all decided it probably wasn't going to work anyway."
Now that my game's out, only one last thing left to do. *crams fizzling stick of dynamite into mouth and calmly checks if the game runs in more than one kind of web browser*
This is a sequel to my 2012 game, "Tiny Sorceress". (http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Tiny_Sorceress) Happy halloween, suckers!
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Tiny_Sorceress_Second_Chance/ - Here's a new Leongame, "Tiny Sorceress's Second Chance". No sound, no colour, just pure power.
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