Leon's Microblog – August 2017

*bursts in* "The office down the road threw out chairs that make ghastly wheezing noises when you lower them!" *everyone bolts for the door*
"OK, calm down… just because she has brain-removing pliers doesn't mean she isn't also a brain-haver like you that's using them as cover."
"There's no way I'd afford this city if sitting in the bottom of a vending machine so the cans hilariously fall on your head wasn't a job."
"Every beast, no matter the size, can unleash a Destruction Wave Burst… though for a caterpillar, all it can damage is edible leaves."
Modernised Ourobouros replaces the snake with cleaning a hairbrush using another hairbrush.
Succubi are just preds for boring people #SuccubiAreJustPredsForBoringPeople
and, to a lesser extent, the corkscrew tower in SMB3 and sunken ghost ship in SMW – both vertical transitions to new worlds, interestingly.
Can't recall many contemporaneous Mario levels with this kind of structural consistency… a few are in SMB2 – 5-3's trees and 4-3's towers,
or this level where you climb a tree shaped like a fork, which is prominent on the world map.
Reminded that Wario Land 1 had some levels with a great sense of internal structure, such as this tiered waterfall level (a personal fave)
"There are… facts… of this world, that we work diligently to protect your minds from–" *covers your eyes as a nearby dog lifts its hind leg*
"Your mileage has already varied. Your mileage will continue to vary. Your mileage is varying, as we speak."
What I like about this is A) this UI specifically references Mac OS 8, and B) the remake 12 years later specifically updates it to Mac OS X.
As part of a similar project, I also have a list of the first pages of each webcomic tracked by Piperka.
I'm pumping these into Wayback Machine's save feature, as I do not trust capricious search engine crawlers to have visited them all.
Using the power of yet another of my crappy HTML scrubber scripts, I have come into possession of a list of all games hosted on Jayisgames
The shocking discovery has been made that most of the OverClocked Remixes were composed on computers running at regular clock speeds
Is there a big robot whose arms you knock off, and a gorilla's arms bust through the holes and cover up the robot's eyes, sending it reeling
Do any Sonic products make artistic use of the robots having animals inside them. Is there a cool gothic robot that literally bleeds doves
Incidentally, at some point it added this "map view" of its 7000 tracked webcomics, which you may find dazzling: http://piperka.net/map/
Pretty fricked up that I continue to track webcomics using Piperka dot net, a 12-year-old web app whose main font is still Times New Roman.
*realises Steven Universe is a much better Half Life 2* Well, that's a relief. *realises it's been three months since the last episode* >_>
As it is, introducing the familar characters with unchanged superlatives just makes the whole thing sound rather condescending.
The changed names, and the florid introductions each get, add a necessary pinch of dour sarcasm to the post that the "fixed" version lacks.
People are sharing an edited version where the fake names/genders are changed to the franchise's actual ones and I don't like it…
I once did this by accident and it was the greatest emergent moment I'd ever had with the game. [Flashing]
http://web.archive.org/web/20170825025137/http://www.marclaidlaw.com/epistle-3/ – Hm. While I don't agree with how some characters are treated, the end is dark enough for my tastes.
(Once again, you can't actually play it in the WBM even if you still have the Unity Web Player, due to URL issues, but it works locally.)
Good news, everyone– the .unity3d file for One Duck, the bouncing duck game from 2014 (http://www.freeindiegam.es/2014/01/one-duck-nostradamon/) was on the Wayback Machine.
I feel like the consistency of the whole narrative hinged on this moment, introducing the threat of violent death as benignly as possible.
necessitating a return to "status quo" after the heavy tonal shift the turrets (and the accompanying graffiti room) bring.
which is pretty necessary considering there are still a couple of much less dangerous test chambers left before the climactic twist,
The actual line is rather deftly written, as it doesn't tip the hand that GLaDOS intends you to die, or is any more than a mindless operator
Thinking about how Portal introduces the turrets by just saying "due to circumstances, this room is a gun course instead of a portal course"
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=26425144 – This feels like it should be an iconic location in some narrative.
https://www.kotaku.com.au/2017/08/blizzard-apologises-for-cultural-insensitivity-in-new-australian-overwatch-map/ – The trajectory of this article pretty much sums up mainstream post-colonial discourse 2017
(Yes, I do know it's been a cornerstone of the medium ever since Mr. Burns crowed "The hunter has become the hunted" while playing Pac Man.)
I'm becoming more aware that one of the biggest reasons I love video games is because they're extremely good at presenting situational irony
In that light, a lot of bad design amounts to the game presenting narratives, on every level, that don't say anything interesting or well.
but most any mechanic, including "emergent" Breath of the Wild-style cause-and-effect "chemistry", facilitates some narrative or another.
A classic level-as-narrative example is this Castlevania room – the story of being blocked by this wall, climbing under, then rising above,
Thinking of levels, mechanics, etc. as layers of micro-narratives lets you ask whether these narratives are dramatic, well-paced, meaningful
I've been thinking back to game design discourse and I think a good rule of thumb is to simply ask "is this good storytelling".
My personal favourite textual joke in Undertale is this one.
"I know I promised to hire the kingdom's deadliest assassin… but these two guys are GREAT at stomping the ground to make debris fall down."
I'm glad their relationship is developed to the point that Dedede, who you spend the whole game rescuing, is still "Kirby's arch-enemy".
"Witches with dog familiars aren't unheard of – instead of the dog speaking in human tongues, the witch tends to fluently woof back at it."
"Gold armour isn't materially stronger – however, the characters will be afraid of damaging such a valuable prop, and will hold back."
"Time-navigating through a person's life is done by charting their every decision on a four-dimensional "mistake-o-sphere"."
Remember: it's not a roguelike unless it asserts with full confidence that slime molds are a food
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=48822320 – As someone who had this exact make of rotary phone, I endorse this.
High-level vampires can swap places with the reflections they don't have, and don't take kindly to being asked if they're Bloody Mary.
"The doorknob is your house's "killer app", converting rotational force into unlatching. But what if you'd prefer it to convert money?"
"It is now considered a major security risk to pipe raw Curl output directly to your PC's soda spigot and take a hearty, bubbly swig."
"Be aware it may take 7-10 business years for your email address to be removed from our mailing list."
Time to post the only solar eclipse-related videogame GIF out there.
"Yeah I'm uh SCP six zillion, explain this" *sticks ring finger knuckle-deep in nostril* "Yeah" *pulls it out without wedding ring* "Uh oh."
"After 50 shutout tournaments, we've found a way to win the Cutiecuddleball matchup." *Cutiecuddleball makes an even cuter face* "Uh oh."
Me: Gee… it doesn't deserve a remix like this. *remembers 40 years of wage stagnation* No. It does. Every song does. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2hz2i-KnjA
This unrelated clip is another inspiring exercise in minimalism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CWCpweNvTE
cc one of those "non-aesthetic things" accounts https://twitter.com/SM64fails/status/899081218389557248
Thanks for not following Wickedest Ivan, who attaches a fake "10K likes/RTs" image to every post and RTs everything containing "swagtastic".
Thanks for following me instead of Grian the Scoundrel, who types entirely in Fraktur and claims to be all of the cats in various viral GIFs
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=49707831 – This is the only time this shade of green has ever looked good. Moreover, it will never look good again.
"Should I be… dead now?" wonders the robot in deep space, before learning in its manual that it's powered by lithium batteries "and fear".
Cerberus revealed to be one dog and a pair of extremely boisterous budgies on its back
John Henry-style race of all-consuming slime girl vs. all-consuming nanobots ends in worst-case event code-named "Situation Swirly Icecream"
Two tongueless bells are placed atop the pentagram, and two clock hands in the centre, turned to 13 o'clock… all set to wake the dead.
"Leon have you been just browsing Pixiv for almost 9 hours straight" Look, , ,,, ,,,,,, it's the weekend
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=56865289 – Reluctant abductor and incredulous abductee
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=22974428 – I feel like what makes this one is the character's expression.
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=52497427 – This one only has 38 Pixiv likes despite ruling a lot??
Also, this level is rather pretty.
Watching a Kirby's Epic Yarn longplay……… one thing I like is this boss.
"What shall you have for dinner?" "…Tiny robot… fetch me the Maximum Depression menu." "Here you are, master." *starts eating the menu*
"Please… take my sword… and finish this for me." *arm stretches as you try hard to pull the sword from his grip* "I didn't say keep it."
After centuries of frustrated villagers screaming into its well, the Cacophony gained strength to break free of the Holy Earplugs binding it
LOADING……………56% Did you know: The L2 button can do nothing for you. Ignore all of its prompts, for they are empty promises!
The whole thing is actually very funny minimalist comedy, so I can recommend it in the abstract, if not quite in the concrete.
In the end I opened the browser drawer and put "transform: scaleX(-1)" on the video element, to obscure the text by flipping it horizontally
I want to link the Sesame Street "30 Dots" compilation video but the uploader added intertitles that spoil literally all the jokes.
http://sparklermonthly.com/series/yellow-hearts/ – Tried out this webcomic… early days still, but the colour and character designs are solid…
"I should be more positive in my life." *looks out window at smouldering crater with a demon cackling in the centre* "Wow… a perfect circle"
This reminds me I've never seen the Game Over screens for any recent Kirby… God, there could be anything stashed away in there.
Turns out: it's the Game Over theme. … for *JUST* Milky Way Wishes.
Leon status: I spent an hour just now trying to figure out where this one song in Kirby Super Star's soundtrack is actually used.
By the year 2050 Nicalis will have added 30 extra modes to Cave Story, at least one of which is a roguelike
The "part" division split the comic into thirds – A1-4, A5, A6-7. Only the "side" division acknowledges that A6-7 became half the comic.
With some amusement I note than after the "act" division failed, the post-hoc "part" division also failed, necessitating a "side" division.
http://mspaintadventures.com/?viewmap=6 – I just realised I never checked to see if he finally completed the Homestuck site's "adventure map"… thank god.
(This is also why I felt Homestuck A6A6I5 made a more satisfying "ending" than the actual ending, which felt like postscript in comparison.)
I like the ending a lot because I relish characters just gently processing how the adventure changed their relationship, for minutes on end.
As for the rest of the game, I'm not into Sonic at all but my heart will open for 90s FM synth, and all its visual aesthetic tailings.
Vg znxrf nofbyhgryl ab frafr sebz n qrfvta be fgehpgher fgnaqcbvag, UBJRIRE, vg vf cerggl uvynevbhf – naq abg whfg orpnhfr bs gung.
I watched a Sonic Mania stream and here's a spoiler remark: Gur M2N2 obff vf whfg gur xvaq bs njshy vqrn V'q unir unq NAQ YBIRQ nf n grra.
*suddenly thinks about the Halberd* W… wait a minute…
I thought "Haltmann Works Company" was some kind of computery, AI, halting problem theming, but its obvious now it's just… HAL…tmann.
This is probably the big twist in Madoka or something, isn't it
All yuri is slice-of-life because people in lesbian relationships are the only people who are actually alive *steeples fingers under chin*
(This source show is Frame Arms Girl, which is basically Cheat Commandos: Buy All Our Playsets And Toys: The Slice-of-Life Yuri)
That relatable feel when you realise you're traumatised
Some of the late puzzles were a bit fun, and the ending was nice (albeit long-winded).
Currently it feels like "the usual" for grid puzzle platformers… it sometimes introduces new elements faster than it knows what to do with.
Now I'm playing the Lost Vike-like game All To Get Her (https://vgperson.itch.io/all-to-get-her)
and having perceptibly more empathy for the boy in a couple is regrettably de rigueur, especially if the girl departs from some social norm.
although I sense that a lot of that's also due to Komi being visibly set up as the inevitable love interest of the other boy protagonist,
so in that light I find this comic's guardedness about Komi's thoughts compared to the entire rest of the cast a little disheartening,
One of the most annoying stereotypes about especially nonverbal people is that their internality is inaccessible to the point of nonexistent
and when it does, it insists on these distancing third-person narration boxes… this little incessant layer of empathic separation from her.
Now I've started reading Komi-san wa Komyushou desu… Currently I'm disappointed at how infrequently it glimpses into Komi's internality,
Outside Hell's gates, trying not to meet the gaze of all the people you shouted "See you in Hell!" at until you're all inside
"Look," says the AI, "If you cut me, I, too, bleed." Dozens of 0-byte files named "BLOOD", "BLOOD2", "BLOOD3" start flooding the desktop.
This is amusing considering the Internet doesn't exist in this story – the villain's computer has to dial up everyone's modems individually.
One other thing… The story's opening was extremely silly for the first two decades but has now aged into Literally Internet Of Things 2017.
This leads to a very memorable climax solution where they push someone wearing a numbered shirt into an OCR feed.
The main joke here is that Baron Warp constructed a computer from blueprints, but, being anti-metric system, "converted" 1 mm into 1 inch.
Managed to track down someone's scans of old favourite kids' puzzle book Usborne Puzzle Adventures: The Time Warp Virus (1996)…
Current Leon status: banging this into a terminal followed by a PB image URL seems sufficient to download it without getting a HTML redirect
The combos were OK, I guess. I liked this one the most [loud] https://clips.twitch.tv/PatientResilientLettuceJKanStyle
Environmental storytelling
Trying to splutter out the spell of magical breathing because you're laughing too hard, but losing it because one of the syllables is "butt"
Can Psychonauts 2 have Raz enter someone who's also afraid of deep water and have him be all "yeah, exactly, water does suck"
When will we ever get a game where you go into the mind of a traumatised person and the protag just remarks "wow same, same, same trauma, sa
Aging golems, stone wrinkles green with moss
Alraune/Rappaccini's Daughter fixfic
"Behold! Scavenged cyborg arm! It's got no power, but who needs it when the fist's extended?!" *runs back and forth to rapidly punch you*
Your vampire license revoked, you're forced to illegally buy clay and hand-sculpt your claymation bat transformation, with horrific results.
"Only witches can use glitch magic – not because it rhymes, but because they're the only magic class too poor to afford working electronics"
Someone who reblogged this has the username "Edgelorb Meta Knight"
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/163996802323/kirby-super-star-kirby-squeak-squad MARIO LORE: [shrug] [thinking face] [frown] KIRBY LORE: [thumbs up] [100 mark]
I really like this character design for some reason… maybe some line weight consistency across eyebrows, hair, teeth https://twitter.com/lamentobento/status/866058719884447747
Canonical tree ability
http://www.aceteam.cl/retro/ – Finally beat this… The pixel art is decent but is sometimes not the most legible.
This is the most beautiful track in Wario Land 1, and probably the entire Wario/Mario Land series https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYLL7wtGhSg
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=12183941 – These are OCs… I like this mosaic style of montage.
The best thing about NetHack mimics is that they can mimic ">" (a downward staircase) and "]" (an unused glyph that isn't anything at all)
I was introduced to mimics by NetHack, where they can mimic any object, so I've found their greater D&D renditions very disappointing.
Imagine being a race of immortal sexbots after humanity goes extinct. Every alien would be all "did they hav sex w/ u too much??" Unbearable
Kirby's just trying to beat the True Arena but his awful friends keep meeting interstellar horrors that he has to fight too for some reason.
(I observe this let the game elegantly serve up the series-standard boss rush mode as just another "world", with its own quirky mechanic.)
which wouldn't really be "possible", without heavy diegetic explanation, in a game with a single plot arc covering all of these "worlds".
Additionally, the structure gave "late world" levels carte blanche to mess with basic game mechanics, like the level structure, or copying,
What was great about SS's structure was that even the "early worlds" like Dyna Blade had their own narrative identity and completion.
Especially Return To Dream Land, whose plot is obviously modeled on Milky Way Wishes, which was just 1/6th of Super Star (and done already).
Thinking of Kirby in particular because I feel the plots and theming of RTDL and Triple DX weren't really strong enough for a "full" game.
I'd love another Kirby game, or another game in any franchise, with the Super Star / Live-A-Live "anthology of linked stories" structure.
G-Type is such a good fangame… mainly because its levels were A) short, and B) added to the level-select after reaching and before beating.
Just remembered G-Type had a secret boss rush, only available if it randomly appeared on the title screen, like Uboa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no6iFjKDpQE
"Tables are just mezzanine floors with legs; chairs are just extremely small rooms."
I still haven't seen the full movie of this but someone linked this clip and now I'm exasperated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PSueHOY-Jk
This show's writing is sadly not good at or interested in being meaningful, but this scene and its deliberate postponement felt special.
and emphasises their contrast of magic and mundanity better than anything that preceded it – showing both sides at their most vulnerable.
In retrospect I feel like that entire scene should've been the focus of the final ep… it sorta completes the picture of their relationship,
and you can imagine when I heard this remix four years ago I knew I'd have totally lost my mind over it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHzYs162HSk
I always liked videogame cloud worlds as distant dreamlike otherworlds… when I eventually emulated Mother 1 I was greatly taken by Magicant,
Something about this was so enchanting… I think it was the theme of a distant cloud world + the sugary-sweet violin-like lead instrument…
Despite having told you what the best KDL2 track is, this one was always my favourite as a child https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM-ez_-5rQs
Until this game, this was the last Dream Land 1 track to never have been remixed. *listens to it* …Understandably. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5rhVgEsW1c
This is the best Kirby's Dream Land 2 music track. No other opinion shall be broached, brooked or brunched. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGifp-mLwXE
"Light drinkers can avoid alienating heavy-drinking friends by ordering a pint-glass whose glass is 4cm thick, leaving a 1cm wide interior."
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=59353189 – Some nice cold watercolour drawings on this person's account.
*a tweet of mine gets 2 replies* My mencheroonies
(This game is https://totalbattery.itch.io/ifo and I haven't played it, but it's probably fine.)
Me: I don't really care anymore if indie games take lots of liberties with retro systems' limitations. *I am shown this GIF* No. Wrong. Bad.
*me trying to remember the show Downwell Abbey's name, which I still don't remember since I again called it "Downwell Abbey"* Downwell Abbey
"A good spy leaves no footprints… a GREAT spy lies in the soil and fools their enemy into believing an angel fell from the sky and ran off."
"Incomplete manuscripts can be buried, where the soil will replace plot holes with strong woody roots, and missing scenes with long tubers."
Latest orbital x-ray telescopes will finally reveal what the sun's skull looks like
You can probably sense some Blendo influence in my game Phone In Mouth (http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Phone_In_Mouth/), although different due to being all text.
The only textual explanation for that depicted room is the level's name, "Malta Stock Exchange".
Most inspiring thing about Brendon Chung's games is the volume of underspecified worldbuilding their levels casually exude.
https://clips.twitch.tv/RespectfulAnnoyingRaisinSmoocherZ – Still perversely amused by speedrunners getting visibly Michigan J. Frogged by their games during marathons
This Charles Dana Gibson drawing doesn't need much explanation; that being said here's a low-quality zoom-in on the dog.
My most arresting image of the series, one I didn't even except to see depicted, is this one, which not even the finale is able to outshine.
I feel a little sad that not many opportunities were taken for sincere strange imagery of interplay between the normal and fantasy worlds.
I'll admit the frequent physical and narrative partitioning of the supporting cast from the main relationship helps in ignoring their tropes
Such as, having a character who is a shota, is /named/ Shouta, and whose only on-screen purpose is standard shota ecchi scenes.
I'm a little surprised this cartoon got as popular as it has given how often and how many plain old ecchi tropes it deploys verbatim.
Comment from this stream of the fangame Yo! Noid II https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGM8nHcFk7g
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds (2017)
No, it's a jam game and doesn't have sound……… which means you can play it at work even if you can't plug in earphones!!
It's OK to hateread Emoji Movie summaries but you have to play my tiny phone-world game after http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/App_Escape/ I don't make the rules
(It's an additionally appealing touch that, without par, the one emotion she readily and openly displays is frustration.)
I relate to Kobayashi's consistent underemoting – her perpetually dulled expression, gaze and tone, which seem odd for a romance protagonist
Here's my *"*hacker voice* I'm in" voice* invoice
Anyway, play the game for this character: your friend your boyfriend dislikes, and you realise too late that says more about him than her.
To the surprise of no one and a half, I paused and spent 5 mins trying to see which version of MS Gothic some cartoon characters were using.
Am now referring to the first Half-Life 2 mini-sequel as "Episode (1/?)" in the true Twitter tradition.
and by replacing that with a non-consumerist "found footage" sort of narrative, one gets closer to examining the game on its own terms.
So, I feel that the trailers often do the games themselves a disservice by framing them in a "product-first" narrative befitting the Store,
is because that mostly obliterates the advertising "narrative" of the trailer, leaving just contextless, unexplained game footage.
I guess the reason I'm more likely to watch arbitrary indie game trailers if you remove all sound and reduce them to 6s of random excerpts
I'll admit it: the @microtrailers account is one of my favourite new twitterbot follows.
(Juvpu erzvaqf zr bs punetrf znqr nobhg Tbar Ubzr'f uvtu-fcvevgrq raqvat - gubhtu TU'f cybg'f fgnxrf jrer, cbyvgvpnyyl, dhvgr qvssrerag.)
Gnpbzn, zrnajuvyr, whfg unf n oevrs svany fprar jurer gur perj syrr gb fnsrgl va wbyyl ryngvba, juvpu engure fdhnaqref gur cerprqvat grafvba
vf gur fnzr va obgu, ohg ZN vapyhqrf yvxr 15 zvaf bs qvnybthr bs whfg gur punenpgref cebprffvat guvf qvfpbirel, guvf vaperqvoyr orgenlny.
[Spoilers for both games follow] Gur gjvfg, gung gur punenpgref ner nobhg gb or zheqrerq ol na hafrra cnegl gung gurl vzcyvpvgyl gehfg,
In fact, its endgame has something that I really regret Tacoma (another point-and-click game set in a home) doesn't have in its endgame…
The start is kinda slow and some of the minor NPCs are annoyingly unsympathetically portrayed, but it's got a really satisfying endgame.
#IPlayed Maggie's Apartment (http://www.anatolahoward.com/maggie).
Who wore it better
I want you all to know that I find the plentiful yet superficial similarities between Mother 3 and Kirby: Planet Robobot to be very cute.
I'm starting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid and I'm annoyed at how horny this one character's design is… Yes, the tiny soft-butch programmer.
T-shirt reading "Real Programmers Roll Natural 19s", feat. d20 with one face marked "0": cursed enough to seal our greatest sorcerer's power
YES I like vore and YES I write all my commit messages in past tense instead of present
Bumping this for the *realises this is the exact same time of day I originally tweeted in the first place* …exact same… crowd as last time.
By 2020 it had lost all meaning, and sank back into the zeitgeist's psychopelagic abyss from whence it came.
By 2019 its semantic meaning eroded to where it simply meant mentioning things people always knew was bad, like that Little Nemo is racist.
By 2018 the verb "Milkshake Duck" was shorted to "msd" by sheer necessity.
I also played this https://heiden.itch.io/helenas-flowers Nice odd-couple castaways VN, though I think the Iliad theming was too thick for its own good.
#IPlayed Tacoma… nice domestic diorama, very much "Gone Home 2"… the hologram "audio diaries" fill and warm the vacated spaces beautifully.
Ten seconds after the door knock, you shout out to them "Sorry, the disc load times for this apartment are pretty bad."
"Remember: the smaller your wings, the lighter and more innocent your soul." *waggles inch-high back lumps beatifically*
"We decided to hotfix English last night– from now on it's "at accident" and "at purpose" for consistency with "at random". You're welcome."
When your friends reply to your horny tweets with "GO TO CHURCH"
Let alone some of the newer Javascript goodness:
People are again making Javascript mock tweets, none of which mention [10,NaN,2,3,4], defining undefined, or this: [ [1,2], [2,3] [3,4] ]
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