Leon's Microblog – March 2017

Credit due to Lorule Castle's peppy theme, too… maybe the only time in a decade I've heard Ganon's theme and not felt only sheer exhaustion.
This is my favourite song in the game. The LTTP original is already very underrated, and this is a great rendition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyn4A52jkxg
I actually have lots more to say about BotW, but I feel this game's way overexposed right now, so I'll just bump my ALBW thread instead.
Me: OK, time for a change of pace from empty wilderness, post-apocalyptic ruins and amnesiac protags… guess I'll watch this "Kemono Friends"
In seriousness though, not aging is such a lowkey wild trope… so many things just throw it out there like it's nothing.
While I'm imagining things, Link should be a ghost, too. The "resurrection" wasn't as complete as we thought. That's why he sees Koroks, etc
I was sure she'd be a ghost. She shoulda been a ghost, for symmetry with the dungeons. Would make a good ending instead of a nothing ending.
I can't freaking believe they gave no explanation for why Zelda doesn't age, though. As in, you have to make up the reason yourself.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/132018839?t=13m52s This race just now was pretty good.
Feel like Zelda's arc in this one is basically the same as in OoT: fail long enough to get the plot started, then make up for it at the end.
I cast Stasis on my eyeballs before seeing the last of BotW's plot, and the cumulative rolling force made my skull explode, killing me insta
The large pile of oversized, rusted mannequin legs is explained as the original owner starting "a project for a weekend that never came".
One of your OCs can somehow blink in still photos, and the other keeps lying on their hair and being unable to lift their head.
And during lategame, mentally juggling the few remaining item locations to find a missing key item can be critical to winning.
So, deciding which item locations to check first in a race involves risking that a critical unlockable is in a more distant location,
Much more than LoZ NES, many items are non-linearly locked behind other items: medals open two dungeons, several are needed for bosses, etc.
https://www.twitch.tv/speedrunslive – Watching these Link to the Past randomised ROM hack races. Mainly boils down to weighing up unlocked locations.
Fittingly, the reported negatives regarding difficulty and pacing sound very "first TIGSource Metroidvania project"… a bygone relic.
I read a Rain World review and saw precisely one screenshot and remembered seeing a dev GIF of it on TIGSource five years ago.
Every Atom Climbable
"This project uses the GRAPE stack" *displays graph showing which parts of your body are golem, robot, automaton, poltergeist or elemental*
Your pure-energy lover distracting you during sex by claiming to feel "millions and millions of your atoms" around their gens
"These "monster plants" are my children… I fed their buds with my blood–" *shout from window* "We just moved in! They ate the last tenants!"
The dog prophet with a tape recorder on its back has the town's ears, but some wonder why it only deigns to speak once someone presses play.
Do they make eyeshadow in oil-slick rainbow colour
*clicks to next slide* -Bodies are bad -Brains are bad -What's left? *points to 0.5% sliver of human identity pie chart labeled "Misc."*
"This is for our own good." *yanks all the bristles off broom* "We have to be normal pe–" *suddenly shoots into the air while holding them*
"What? I drank the potion, but it gave you super-strength?" "Hey… c'mon… why would I brew a potion that gives anyone but me super-strength?"
"Most sentient trees can only pursue their enemies by sprouting descendants in their direction for centuries, or until they outlive them."
Scavenging coffee satchels from the ancient mechsuit graveyard, in time to spy a working coffee machine carried away by a band of wizards.
I'm gonna assume this meme suggests a contest about one cutting grass faster than the other can grow it.
https://clips.twitch.tv/SwissCulturedRabbitSoBayed – This Smash Bros. clip is boring but at the end someone says "Who would win… five hundred lawnmowers… or the sun"
Mario 64 provides entertainment in so many contexts https://twitter.com/SM64faiIs/status/832418765950234624
(Even then, not many urgency pleas appear in the game itself… few beg for Link's help, because Link is a nobody in its world.)
This is common in the Zelda series… but I observe one of my favourites, Majora's Mask, makes an entire name for itself by subverting it.
One RPG trope I've always been irked by is false urgency – characters pleading to hurry while the game does nothing to back their words up.
They made sure the stories were really about the people left behind on the titular island, and their strange melancholic miniature world.
Adventure Time latest arc thoughts: I'd've been leery of this knowing in advance it was "Finn's origin story", but in practice it was neat.
Someone tell the Fire Emblem devs about this. Just call the fire department and ask for "emblem". https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/843078111453310976
Streaming video decoding glitch, feat. that one shade of green
"Well… I didn't think tormenting a few teens would bring peace to my tortured soul… but I feel damn great now! Haha! So long, living world!"
"The lesser minor brainphage, unused to human anatomy, attempts to devour the brain by crawling up one nostril and promptly getting stuck."
"Hey… let's trade email addresses." *realises the word "trade" implies mutually beneficial exchange, and you are nothing, a crumb, a microbe
I just saw someone mistype it as "Dragon-On Dragoon", which sadly isn't even the Japanese title of Drakengard 2.
Space Encounters. Every so often I rifle through my MAME ROM folder and learn of some cool early-80s minimalism like this.
Me watching Grand Finals, now and forever: "What if they just port it to a system with actual controllers and a screen taller than 5 inches"
Me watching Smash 4 before playing Kid Icarus Uprising: "I'm so glad this game is competitive" Me after: "Please let Sakurai make KIU2"
(TBH even retreading OoT's sages in Twilight Princess, Minish Cap or w/e would've instantly improved them by simply requiring notable NPCs.)
Anyway, let's pray that some Zelda maker someday realises this is a great narrative device and actually writes the game around it.
This gives a feeling of powerlessness to her rescue that OoT's sages lacked – a narrative tension that seems so natural, yet so rare.
Interestingly, unlike OoT, you do NOT know where she's imprisoned, so you don't get the certainty of knowing how to find her, until you do.
Irene is the best example: you see her often, her sudden absence is troubling, and you feel this absence until you eventually rescue her.
ALBW doesn't have a 7-year time gap between Hyrule and Lorule, so you instead notice some of your friends vanish gradually, insidiously.
I think of it as "the only good thing in OoT" because of how it augments the tone of the dark future, of saving what little you still can.
The gist of it is that friendly NPCs you met in the early game are now kidnapped or in peril, and saving them takes up the rest of the game.
ALBW brought back the OoT sages system, interestingly not seen since Wind Waker, and I think I appreciate it even more now.
Standard speedrunner joke when someone gets Space Jump in a casual Metroid Prime run
*think's about how the sequel is "Super Mario 3D World" despite the Wii U not having a top screen with a 3D effect* Why you
*think's about how there's actually only three amiibos that actually depict miis* Why you
"My first robot. It consists of a label reading "SENTIENT", pointing to a single LED wired to one 9V battery."
"The moon… the biggest pearl in the solar system… and you know what they always say… "The world is your oyster!"" *pushes very large button*
sort() strikes again
embracing the original's very idiosyncratic concept of "curved food transformation curse" wholeheartedly 🍆🍤.
A good example here is that Uprising doesn't just bring back Eggplant Wizards without irony, but also adds Tempura Wizards alongside them,
brought back and given a moment in the light, imagined anew in the spirit and sincerity of their original intention.
I've gone on about this before, but I'm quite fascinated by game worlds and characters that had been consigned to the dustbin of history,
I'm also glad its commentary on the NES game is fairly respectful… it makes a few fourth-wall jokes about it, but not in any mocking sense.
I like this game's particular tone of irreverence a lot… it feels different enough from Mario, Kirby, Paper Mario and other Nintendo series.
*stamps the ground furiously like I lost a lottery payout by one number*
*imagines a Metroid Uprising where Kraid is squawking at Samus about interior design while a Chozo facepalms* Only this can save the series
*remembers how Super Metroid subverted its brain endboss being defenseless, but Gradius only doubled down on it* I don't know what I want
The irony here is that she's ostensibly the Touhou main character, but now she's being "Green Mario"ed by her own Luigi.
Me: "Whatever, I'm just gonna call her "Red Marisa" until I happen to see her actual name again."
My other petty gripe with Hades is that the level where he vores Pit is pretty great but I'm simply not attracted to him in that way >:(
Just reminded that Final Fantasy 6 translates "Living Dead" as the sharez0ne-esque
It harkens back to a time when NES games placed minor horror monsters in the cosmologies of their tiny worlds – small fish writ large.
but also I adored the original charmingly promoting Medusa to the role of Satan, akin to Castlevania venerating Dracula as lord of all evil.
I'm not really sold on Hades as the main villain, mainly because his body design (attached) is this Street Fighter esque stripey muscle man,
The high point of this game's narrative is definitely when all the factions put the war on hold to team up and fight aliens for three levels
and to suggest the more accurate image of the warm chitchat of friends, which mainly provides a background mood to the action it plays over)
(I've been using the word "bants" to refer to this game's dialogue to distinguish it from more structured or focused comedic writing,
They'd honestly be unbearable if they didn't have at least five lines of bants in every single room, no matter how vacant or meaningless.
A lot of this is the absence of camera assistance – for a game big on spectacle, these areas constantly ask you to figure out where to look.
The on-foot areas, which make up 60% of each level, still feel painfully sluggish and unpolished compared to the preceding air battles.
Zekrom is just a black Palkia. Just look at it. Generation 5 is a fraud, and I'm busting it wide open.
Hey, Pit… talk to the hand
*listens to Palutena bants* I love this game *feels this awful control scheme eroding my entire hand* I hope I can live to see the ending
I'm glad… that they did a whole Star Fox Andross base reference without saying it aloud… and then committed to it for the entire level.
The fact that they use this generic, Meteos-esque stick-figure of the player in menus, despite it always being Pit, kind of cracks me up.
In this story-driven game, where any particular level can take up to 30 minutes… a board full of "beat X with weapon Y" seems ill-fitting.
Also, I think the familiar Sakurai achievement board made more sense in Air Ride and Smash, where messing around with few goals is the norm.
Really, the fun of this game is in the top bants and the high speed spectacle - increasing the difficulty honestly just distracts from both.
I actually find this a cute paradox in the game's difficulty system – you unlock stronger weapons to make it easier… or… you make it easier.
*finger-on-temple meme pose* You don't need bonus hearts to buy better weapons if you never increase the difficulty.
Livetweet thread for the game Kid Icarus Uprising:
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=57974373 – When you're emotionally disconnected from the sensory delights surrounding you
*yanks waterfall off the cliff and scrunches it into a washing basket* "You won't believe how much mold these things can get."
"Flying ships, too, are susceptible to accumulating "sky barnacles"." *points to dozens of wasp nests on the hull*
"I only ever bothered learning the spells that involve flipping the bird as one of the gestures. …I think this one separates frozen bread?"
Surge sentencing during prison labour shortages
"You do understand," *gestures toward party's helper fairy* "this is what we've got instead of a dog, right"
"As the only surviving member of my sect, it's entirely my choice that I wear the lowest-rank vestments instead of the highest."
"The cup of adulterer's blood is, in their baudy ceremonies, sipped first and mockingly spat out, as they move on to "the real sins"."
Screen full of "Kickstarter backer portraits" that on closer inspection are actually just Booster's ancestors from Super Mario RPG
I'm not talking about long-term arcs, like Ice King's, but single episodes like Puhoy, Food Chain, Dungeon Train, Beyond The Grotto etc.
I like that it keeps a fairly detached tone throughout – letting the viewer follow into the amnesia, to judge the situation for themselves.
Catching up on Adventure Time… Interesting how often it depicts losing your memory or sense of self, possibly after entering another world.
My new zanybad Cucumber Quest ironic theory is that Steve actually created all the Masters – not meant as destroyers, but as entertainers.
*thinks about THIS* It's… just so beautiful…… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZrNWqS--lk&t=3828
*thinks about how an entire "Lorule dungeon" is actually in Hyrule……… but its boss is in Lorule…………'s overworld* God, I love it so much
This is reflected in how the items are designed, too: the Rods strike vertically, Bow at long range, each given offensive differentiation.
Only in the dungeons does the notion of item-as-puzzle-key come into play – a reversal of the traditional Zeldas after the NES original.
When you rent items, you first learn to use them, to compare them, as attacks against overworld enemies – freeform, like Kirby abilities.
I've been thinking of ALBW as "the Kirby-est Zelda", and here's why: the rental system thoroughly changes how you learn about each item.
That feeling of Metroidvania-esque constraint always made dungeons feel oppressive – with every puzzle "open", it's like night and day.
The first half where you stumble around without the main item! Here, you simply whip it out at the very start, and keep trucking throughout.
I was just thinking about how the dungeons in this game are so pleasantly concise… and realised that it's because half of them is missing.
(The save points, to my great satisfaction, continue the Majora's Mask trend of being bird statues that provide both warping and saving.)
Another great detail is the save points flapping and crowing when you have major unsaved progress… a game finally acknowledging that tension
Where's the supercut of times when speedrunners make two of the same character appear onscreen
Problem is, they were committed to shrinking being "another world" accessed by "portals", even though in-game it's just a different form.
Painting form is mostly invulnerable and, in many situations, invisible – both aspects that shrinking form could've exploited but didn't.
I keep thinking about ALBW's painting form, and how a lot of its utility could've been in Minish Cap if you could shrink with a button press
Driven by their desire to defeat Lavos and save the future, Crono et al. eventually become "Magus" in 1000AD, taking his place in the story.
I like the implication of this seemingly arbitrary Chrono Trigger ending, which you get just after first visiting 2300AD and getting magic.
I love Majora's fairy-tale aesthetic… the moon has a face on it. The wind is just a huge man blowing ceaselessly. That island is a turtle.
There's zero times in Ocarina where you play a Lullaby to enslumber a giant who's been mind-controlled SO HARD, he's also turned invisible.
There's like zero times in Ocarina of Time where you play Zelda's Lullaby to make something fall asleep… And That's Why Majora Is Better.
It occurs to me… that Ravio's rabbit mask, in the context of his true identity, forms a very, very subtle joke intended for LttP veterans…!
I like how this one line teeters on the metafictional… Lorule cast as the Luigi, which always loses and never gets its own stories, games.
I'm glad… the princess is named for the other of Sabrina The Teenage Witch's cool aunts… thus recontextualising the name of the whole series
Hilda's arc in particular reminds me a lot of Kirby antagonists… not sure why, but it's got me keen to work my way up to Robobot.
In that context, I'm glad it ends the only way it could – by showing them mercy, letting them learn the virtues they lack, at the last.
I sense the main "joke" of this story, which it deftly leaves unstated, is Lorule's princess is an unwise fool, and its hero is cowardly.
LttP's Dark World was always more alien and wild than outright evil – it felt too grounded to just vanish without a word once Ganon dies.
I like Lorule as a retcon of LttP's Dark World – a sickly sister world where everyone tries to get by, instead of just "nightmare Hyrule".
Minish Cap's transformation's at-rest humour was regrettably limited to just competing views on homes from their human and minish occupants.
Easy example: the Portal portals had great expressiveness "at rest", letting you see yourself, detach cameras etc., outside of puzzle scope.
Much like a person, how a game mechanic behaves "at rest", what situations it produces, provides the greatest insight into its personality.
These little moments of discoverable humour greatly determine the overall character of a game's mechanics.
Zeldas are "about" items, and dangling one unremarkable item out of reach for so long feels very dramatic, in the Metroidvania sense.
Bearing firsthand witness to the convoluted adventure this item goes through, the Lost Ravio Item, has been one of the joys of this game.
Deeper environmental interaction is what the series has always craved, and this wallmaster-switch dealie feels pretty viscerally satisfying.
Assembled the team and I'm going in You may never see us again
The best part is each of these overworld vehicles is separated by over 20 minutes of gameplay, so it's a spell you cast over the whole game.
I'm reading about the Final Fantasy IV 64-door exploit.
and this feels like the ultimate realisation of those games' intentions, with seamless vertical motion, and depth conveyed with 3D.
I love the ambitious vertical levels this has – people forget the 90s Zeldas worked hard to include vertical components in their levels,
Painting mode is a great multi-purpose mobility power… feels like "the new hookshot", such that I wonder why the hookshot is in this too.
Here's more of what I love: LttP's garish grinning stumps and bumpers – its dated early-SNES design sense embraced and doubled-down on.
and it's encouraged me to use the invincibility of painting mode more liberally for evasion… the game's two big draws, amplified.
This actually does have some interesting effects. The threat of death makes Ravio's expiring rentals feel much more meaningful, more biting,
I should mention I'm playing on Hero difficulty, which is the same as normal except all enemies and hazards do 4x damage.
I really like the Palace escape… not just as a tutorial, but also suddenly traversing the dungeon's exterior, a literal "out-of-bounds".
I also like that the junk being specifically from Ravio cleanly explains why it also uses the same Ravio Energy that your rental items use.
I'm glad Link is saved by a piece of smelly junk from his masked freeloading tenant, rather than the Triforce or any innate heroic power.
La Mulana had many of these in its bestiary, and I find its remake really enchanting as a response to the original.
One of my personal joys is illegible pixel creatures ratified in higher def… aberrations of 8-bit abstraction, shown respect and dignity.
I'm really glad these crappy tentacle blobs from LttP are back… these nameless motionless nothings, not even recognisably a living creature.
Livetweet thread for the game A Link Between Worlds:
*sits up in bed, in space, inside the cyberverse, in Heaven* Wait, how did Fez make the far away blocks the same size as the near blocks
Me: "This frog girl everyone loves doesn't have facial expressions or body language–" *Tsu says "kero" in a sad voice* Me: "Bless this frog"
Me after 3 eps of My Hero Academia: "This is pretty high-emotion…" After 6 eps: "Hamlet my son, I was unnaturally murdered by Shonen Pacing"
"Humanity's emergency lunar terraforming–" *photo of entire continental plate jammed in the moon diagonally* "–was an engineering miracle."
*uses two toast slices from the same toaster in different orders, thus breaking up a fated relationship forged in fire*
*running up to chairs overlooking trail of ants with bag of crumbled rice cakes* "What'd I miss?" "Don't worry, the best part's coming up."
Healing a torn scroll and watching it grow back its information, disregarding scar words like "um", "uh" and "iunno" along the tear's edge.
"My necklace is my netcode. My belt is my physics engine. Feel these biceps – rock-solid dead code from back when I was an RTS."
Of course, in occurrence with the ultimate fate of all good things, the game's been banned from Twitch since two years ago… :p
In all honesty, that a disastrous release forced people to create and standardise a new competitive-first Smash game is a miracle of history
*remembers that Brawl was so awful, Smash players made their own fangame AND had major tournaments for it instead of Brawl* Truly incredible
(I had to screen-record that because the actual page uses a transparent animated GIF over a scrolling GIF background.)
https://www.bgreco.net/kidradd/comic371.htm – Fondly remembering the good gaming webcomic
*thinks about how Dracula has like ten rooms full of huge gears in just one clock tower* Ahh, Javascript frameworks B)
Its sharp departure in mood from the rest of the game also speaks to me… the reason why I love the comparably creepy True Lab in Undertale.
It really hits the spot of instilling a creepy mood through distorted repetition, without caring to be overtly scary.
I still like OFF's final world The Room a whole lot even though the narrative in it kinda sucks.
The game would be way better if each mystery you solve wasn't just "how the main character brutally killed you for incredibly petty reasons"
I'm playing the free RPG called End Roll, and while the graphics and characters are nice, the plot itself is unfortunately "very edgelord".
"Us statues move all the time. Just look at that guy," it rebukes, continuing to point at another, equally motionless statue.
The photographer's frustratedly running up, grabbing light off the married couple's faces with both fists, and stuffing it into the lens.
"The so-called "ticklish bit", which keeps the chip from giggling out root privileges, can be manipulated with a single "nano-feather"."
Your body, reconstructed in its entirety from saliva on a licked envelope, seems a little more translucent and gelatinous than you remember.
That kid with stretching powers tried hard to grab their escaping helium balloon, but fell over and slapped your ice-cream a kilometre away.
You slightly overdid it – you running-tackled your sandcastle so hard, it also collapsed in the photos you took just beforehand.
*places a brick on another brick* "Yup, I'm still creating, after all I've endured… My passion hasn't aged a day… An artist to the end…"
in a way that both satisfactorally rounds it out and ties it into the overall theme of the series. Simple, but deft.
However, defying the trope's expectations – that you "solve" the town's mystery and confront the town's evil – your visit abruptly ends,
The fourth game is out… in the middle there's, let's say, a JRPG-esque zany malevolent town, unexpected for such a grounded series.
I didn't touch on this previously, but Ib did its world a huge favour by never selling Weiss Guertena as anything more than… just some guy.
*remembers that Ib never really explained why most of Guertena's artworks have become alive and, in some cases, homicidal* Thank GOD
The incongruity of the airship and space station with the nominally medieval world is just part of the greater silence of the game's world.
FF1 has a slight charm in that, being so light on narrative, a lot of iconic FF tropes, like the airship, are left to speak for themselves.
I always liked how Final Fantasy 1's "sky palace" turned out to be an ancient space station, in space, with little need to elaborate.
Anyway, I find it a little amusing that Undertale doesn't explain its world's lighting, but does explain why all food heals you in 1 turn.
I recall Avernum explained its titular netherworld's lighting as luminous ceiling fungi boosted by permanent light spells.
I remembered that Terranigma was careful to mention that its underground world was lit by a strange glowing ceiling called "Crystal Blue".
It's a good game… I'd rank it two out of twenty billion… No, two out of FIFTEEN billion!
*prepares to optimally cash in on the sizzling-edge "licking Switch carts" meme* Umm…………… play this game http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Phone_In_Mouth/
*realises that Dynamite Headdy swaps heads and Trouble Bruin swaps bodies* Eff!
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=51487153 – Not sure I agree with some of the linework, but good.
Just one example… simulated glitch (left) vs actual glitch (right).
Someone make a blog comparing games that have simulated/diegetic visual glitches vs. their actual visual glitches.
*checks out the current Lyle in Cube Sector speedrun* Uh… jeez.
https://nomnomnami.bandcamp.com/track/frosty-night – Sinewaves are so underrepresented in chiptunes because most 8-bit consoles didn't have them, but they're great.
*repaints a bunch of "This is just like one of my Japanese animes" tweets with the last five words changed to "an episode of Black Mirror"*
I dreamed I was listening to Papyrus's theme, but with the melody of Running Hell from Cave Story… Guess it really does go with everything.
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