Leon's Microblog – June 2016

I dreamed there was a Tumblr meme called "the Exactly 10,000 Notes Ghoast" whose picture was the No Notes Ghoast flood-filled bright red.
Months/minutes tokens in a few languages: strftime (C, C++, Perl, PHP, Python, Ruby, Rust): %m / %M Java, Joda-Time, .NET, Moment.js: M / m
For a line of code such as DateTime.format("mm"), what should "mm" mean?
A declaration of love, grasped inside an actual, real declaration, guarded by indifferent if-statements, and measured by bored variables.
I feel that the code in IF games has a perfunctory opinion of the bizarre, dramatic human prose it must constantly shift around and tinker.
Generally, the only way to ensure a comic's saving is to manually save all of its pages' URLs in the lower-right: https://archive.org/web/
You have to understand, the odds of the Wayback Machine saving more than 20 arbitrary .jpg files from any webcomic is basically zilch.
https://is.gd/woG4Cf – I don't believe it… this dead 2005 webcomic unwittingly saved itself by offering zip files of its first 136 pages.
https://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/?c=2 – Runs down this list of official roller derby names whilst reclining luxuriously
This reminds me that I really love the Back In Time glitch, and that it's in three different Zelda games https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTXKDT-bo2k
*sees a phrase which is simultaneously also my new band name, wrestling name, roller derby name, tech startup AND epitaph* "I– I…"
(This particular kind of pixel glitter look is not unfamiliar if you know my dearest visual influences: http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/24701940182/stardust)
http://leonarnott.neocities.org/shard_edit.html – Crap visual experiment: I edited an opening page of "Lady of the Shard" to give its pixels a sparkling animation.
Source: http://interpunkt.deviantart.com/art/OC-Falling-Star-Green-291629594. What name is there for the stellar glitter aesthetic? Asterpunk?
"W-why did you use a slightly more formal wording in this message thanking me for a compliment? I, I didn't… P-p-please have mercy on me…"
"Ahh! What an anniversary! The flutter of bats, the shrieks of the living, the smell of rot… Here–" *detaches skull* "Drink wine out of me."
"I noticed you'd bookmarked 51 pictures of people being tickled by the mouths of giant cleaner fish." "And?" "And… now I've bookmarked 102."
"I should have killed them, then and there… but my rationality was addled by that noxious state of mind known only as "a playful mood"."
Reminder that this is a canonical Wario natural ability
This may be one of the most obscure Pokey From EarthBound referential "clues" that the game gives you during the first half.
Just caught part of a Mother 3 speedrun… There's an enemy that rapid-punches you to the tune of Shave and a Haircut.
http://nakanoart.deviantart.com/art/Big-Imagination-578858922 – *I say "oh noooooo" in a tone of voice implying the opposite*
https://www.twitch.tv/nescardinality/v/73640647?t=59s Command? Command? Command? Command? Command? Command?
http://psychomindset.deviantart.com/art/Sunset-436281418 – Yeah! (The twitter card image preview cropping algorithm will ruin this.)
I also feel loathe to apply this trope to single episodes or chapters, as I think it is most potent when it encompasses the whole narrative.
Some people mentioned Steven Universe but the only case that really applies thus far is Lapis in Ocean Gem.
Similar striking and empathetic, works that have coarser worlds are too pragmatic to use it: Bone doesn't, and Nausicäa doesn't either.
A big part of what makes the contrivance work is the small size of the world: CS and UT are one cave, CQ and OTGW, a cozy fantasyland.
This is a heady power fantasy indeed, as these simple but striking plots show… but the contrivance they require leaves them a tad rare.
and to break the curse is to leave the story free of conflict and subjugation, every character on an even keel.
It also promotes empathy for the antagonists, weak as they are: to solve their curse is to know them more than themselves,
And such is the prevalence of adversarial climaxes that to end a conflict with mutual benefit seems miraculous, to do the impossible.
It's appealing in that it allows the story's conflict to slowly reveal itself as a puzzle to be solved, a grand Answer to be found.
Undertale and Cucumber Quest feature it, and to a lesser extent Over The Garden Wall, Cave Story and other contemporary all-ages adventures.
(By which I mean: reluctant main antagonists knowingly compelled by a powerful curse or law, or other intangible, asocial onus.)
Thinking about how resonant and popular the primary conflict trope of "curses binding good people to bad deeds" is in all-ages fiction.
I'm glad that DeviantArt's corpus has a wider dispersal of Over The Garden Wall fanart than its limited run would have you expect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrcVzSlYgo – I'm a little sad that Super Mario 64 has astral projection, but it isn't useful for challenge runs.
It's a shame there aren't any Mario 64 inspired games that implement this obvious improvement, especially by Rare.
I think so much of the baleful turgidity of the Galaxy games could be alleviated by just letting you get as many stars as you want at once.
I watched a speedrun of a Mario 64 hack where you didn't have to leave the level after getting each star, and it just flows so much better.
Galmedes. T-this copyright notice…!
A second example, from Contra III.
Gunstar Heroes. What are some other examples of this idiosyncratic teleportation animation?
"We made it… Hey, I got some of my blood on you." *holds arm against bloodstain while pointing to shoulder wound* "Here boys, come to mama."
"The times when giddy glee is followed by staggering despair? A little zesty twist I slipped into human emotions. I call it the Two-Scoop."
Your underleveled party members, one by one, depart alone overnight, leaving all they owned behind, and a note reading, simply, "Sorry."
Slowly deducing that as your raiding party burst in, the scientists stripped naked and hid in plain sight in the specimen tanks before you.
"Hey kid! It's me, Old Nick. Why go jogging now when in ten years you'll walk with these?" *photo of person handstanding with robotic arms*
"Don't touch! They're mutual crushes who hooked up." *throws ice water* *it turns to soap bubbles as it hits them* "Category 3 overbliss."
"I just don't remember any events more than a day old! I scroll down my own past tweets and think "𝕄𝕞𝕞, 𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕪" instead of recognising them!"
I'm thankful for up-to-date documentation.
"Aww, do you love me so much," the personification of Night coos you awake at 5 PM, "that you can't even get up without me nearby?"
"I don't get it. If it's legal for magicians to enter wrestling tournaments, why don't they do it? It'd be basically free money."
"Aaaahhh, the greatest levitation magic of all!" *camera pans down revealing partner carrying them on shoulders and making arpeggiated hums*
"This studded jacket's been kinda circling around our polycule… we all like to pretend it's our partners', and steal it after sex."
"Stop pretending you're not secretly powering up!" "Pardon?" "I know your eyes are glowing!" *slipping on fourth pair of sunglasses* "What?"
*cowled, bowed* "…there's no reason to be alive…" *pulls off hood* "So stop looking for one and live!" *puts it on* "…that's all we can do…"
PRIV: everyone probably thinks im annoying ;_; MAIN: Here is a song that drives everyone mad, Everyone mad, Everyone mad, Here is a song tha
http://valenberg.deviantart.com/art/Rolly-Rocket-601618597 – This GIF may be good if you like @1041uuu's work.
http://russianyoshkinaneko.deviantart.com/art/untitled-156-344113398 – The colouring of the right image reminds me of 90s abstract graphic design.
*watching as the shame is drained from my body by nurses* "It's been one hour… how is there still more in you?" *the flow rapidly increases*
"We need to get past this crusher trap." *throwing more and more belongings into it and watching mesmerised as they're crushed flat* "Yeah"
(I at some point wanted to instead do something similar to Perl 6's junctions, but those were separate, different-precedent operators.)
I recognise this is all a big natural-language kludge, but this was confounding so many new users that I could wave it off no more.
This should also work for expressions like "$a and $b < 5", "$a < 5 and 6 and 7 and $someBooleanFlag", and such.
So… I made it so that if "and" or "or" join a comparison and a non-Boolean value, Harlowe interprets the value as "it [comparison] [value]".
ADDITIONALLY, it's also necessary that people write "$a < 4 and $someBoolean" as usual, where $someBoolean evaluates to a boolean.
However, numerous new users write such expressions when they intend to write "$a < 4 and it < 5", and are discouraged when it doesn't work.
(Reminder that Harlowe has strong typing and non-Booleans cannot be converted to Boolean without an explicit comparison operation.)
As you know, in proglangs the expression "$a < 4 and 5" is interpreted as "($a < 4) and (5)" – a comparison wrongly joined to a non-boolean.
I recently implemented a change to Twine (Harlowe)'s compiler that I feel a tad guilty about but which I decided it inevitably needed.
Super Castlevania IV
"*Nether*world, *After*life… Those names are so othering. We simply call this shady vale…" *they pull out banjos and violins* "Right Here!"
Using the Game Genie to obtain The Shoe in levels where it isn't part of the tileset can lead to pleasing results.
"Your meal, sir." "Thanks. I'll handle things from here by myself, without your help." *opens Wikipedia page for "digestion"*
"Babe… you feel your soul leaving your body yet?" "It's, uh, smooshed against my tummy skin." "Think we need even worse videogames?" "Yeah."
"A shotglass of mortality. Self-doubt, regret… a taste of the old days, for old immortals." "Thanks." *pours it into passionfruit cocktail*
"Ah, the stars, my old playground! Look, I skinned my knees on that nebula! I fell off that accretion disk and got a huge bruise! I'm home!"
"Look. I want you to know that sweating buckets is perfectly normal while talking to me. In fact," *turns on sunlamps* "I encourage it."
"Invaders! The empress fled, giving me, her toughest, or nearest, maidservant the throne! And I wrote down a few of her signature attacks!"
"Help, I'm stuck in this bathtub of coins and can't dig myself out. Whatever you take is your payment." *grabs a handful* "NOT THAT MUCH!!"
http://l.j-factor.com/misc/i_would_like.mp3 – Me when I start writing a personal tweet
Offer me money. Power, too, promise me that. Offer me anything I ask for. OK, thanks.
Confidence in my drawing means instead of thinking "I wish someone would draw ___", it's now "I wish someone would draw ___, 1-2-3 not me."
"Realising you've been caught in a one-in-a-million, history-making combo… it's like being blessed… like being playfully flicked by a god."
"Fun? Fun?! I've already mentally simulated all recreational possibilities! There is no "fun" left to be had." *goes silent for three hours*
"You beat her and took her powers. Heh, I've wanted someone who shot razor petals" *lifts you by neck* "but was a delicate little flower."
http://manadhiel.deviantart.com/art/mermaids-474067133 – The composition of this one reminds me of a picture I myself made once (http://l.j-factor.com/thelostpanels/?c=13)
"It's the best thing in the world!" "What is?" "This…" *leans in with a deep kiss* *halfway through, shoves 9V battery between their lips*
"Sigh… life is sad and meaningless." *outside, 3 people and a goose flail around with their hands stuck to each other* "If only it were 7."
Why I Have Stepped Off The New Pogo Stick, And Will Be Choosing Bounceless Ambulation From Now On
After asking how humans learn language and getting "I dunno, we just does *adorable shrug*" for the fifth time, the AI sulkily shut down.
"She was gently cradling a framed photo and sighing! Then she threw it in the fire! Then she threw her chair in the fire! So melancholic!"
*after slashing out of 10kg tin of beans in supermarket* "Hope I'm not alone in missing the jump in the bean factory dungeon! …Anybody?"
"You can't solve every problem by growing fifty feet tall, you know! …Hey! Don't you dare ignore me until I'm too small for you to hear!!"
"I love bathing in the pool whose reflections show your death… nothing but romantic roaring flames and piles of searing gold for me!"
"My tale is known as the "Bloody Legend"… No, not in the Australian sense… Yes, I know I'm Australian… No, you're the first to ask, really…"
*closes eyes, imagines a droplet landing in a clear pool* *pans up to reveal a dripping ice cream cone* *one drool droplet falls from lips*
The biggest mech-suits are repaired by smaller mech-suits, and so on until reaching humans, who themselves are groomed by sapient hamsters.
Remember to turn your phone edge-ways when filming something in the fourth spatial dimension.
"In my dreams, everything tastes the same: just barely stale, just barely bitter. Only when I wake do I realise it's my own saliva."
"We've got the two best kinds of fanart: MLPs, and the other MLPs… Mega Lopunnys."
Old witches accidentally cracking a mirror, then chanting "RIP my mentions"
"Relax! The black fluid pouring down my office walls is purely decorative. You must be thinking of my True Office's walls."
Jackal All Trades, Mandrill Of None
I've finally deleted this function, consigning this variable name to the fog of time.
Little Samson. I feel a bit too smug that I noticed this terrain loop, TBH.
"Human, though we are enemies, let us drink as friends." *gulps mug of acid, places another on table* "Uh, n-no…" *keeps placing more mugs*
"That's right! Here in my palace, every mirror shows only my face, and no one else's!" "…These are framed photos–" "A hands-down upgrade!"
"The show had immense writing talent… Jed "falls-off-roof-into-dumpster" Barb… Delia "chased-by-untethered-inflatable-mascot" Pink… Titans…"
"Help… I'm supposed to be a sullen mask of sorrow, but their long nose is t-tickling me! …Aah! Their snorts at my plight send me squealing!"
"You gnats! I may've "turned good" but now my boss's after us! She's twice as strong and 50 times hotter! …Wow, I can say that out loud now"
"Now that we've halved the footage's size and framerate and used 256-colour dithering, what next? Heh, yup… time for the video artifacts."
"Wait… it compiles? H-how can that–" "Yo don't question it we've been here three hours!" *shoulder-barges in, mashes "git commit -m jsdkf"*
FPS hero wearing three layers of high-tech armour suits, the voices of built-in AIs drowning each other out in a soothing asemic noise.
"Cynical? Me? With my constant esprit de vivre? My polished exuberance? My enthusiastic affect?" *spins around* "Can you believe this?!"
"This floor's encounters include 4x Big Momsatans, which you must run from; however, the next floor has 4x Supr Momsatans, which you can't."
*feels drainingly angry* "Ugh… gotta beat this mood…" *remembers something that makes them energetically angry* "AARGH A SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT"
"Look, I wish this building wasn't a plywood backdrop too, but we gotta live in it. And I kinda like its creepy forced-perspective skew."
It took until 2004 for FPS levels set on spaceships to implement the swaying and creaking noises common to all other ships.
With a wave of the hand and a groan of "ugh, so sleepy", the witch falls up the apartment stairs, her head bumping each step as she rolls.
"Looking for this?" *holds up your cosmic wand* "Hahaha… Whoops!!" *slowly forces it into mouth, chews and swallows it over several minutes*
"My opinions are not those of my employer… God" *thunder rumbles* "and I can't die. My lewd acct is spelt "immoral" in place of "immortal"."
Competitive Smash Bros. player tags
*trapdoor opens just 2 feet from the Amulet* *to God* "Oh you weasel… you hyena… you total possum… you flamingo… you utter, utter crayfish…"
"Many feel the great discovery of how and why the Earth exists (giant tapir havin' a chuckle) has led to apathy about its inexorable decay."
"Heroes! Why do you fight me still?" "Because our bodies are absurd machines made of numbers and meters, and losing them is our least fear."
"I'm calmed by gazing at the stars – eternal and constant." *ten of them jolt to the side, then are nudged back by a dog paw-shaped shadow*
"So now you're trapped in my phone, you'll be shacked up with selfies of me kissing your ex for the rest of yo–" *drops and shatters screen*
"It doesn't make sense. How are these JPEGs watermarked… on a desert planet?" "…The Origin Oasis. It's real, and Stockograph is tapping it."
"Can't stop the chain reaction fusing me and all my clones into a vast gooey monstrosity? Or… won't?" *winks knowingly with a hundred eyes*
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=49910707 – Window washer duels… none more deserving of rose petal rain.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=51216198 – Red satin sheets surrounded by roses and ancient Egyptian treasure
http://l.j-factor.com/misc/cutting_and_pasting.mp3 – Me when I start the day's coding
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=49425987 – *sees picture of Medusa But The Snakes Have Swords In Their Mouths* This may be slightly more deadly than usual
It's 2 months since Badlock destroyed the internet… Sentient vulns are the new dominant species. One, strong yet tender, has become my lover
*moving drawers to speak* "I-I can do magic fine by myself… but when I try to impress you…" *weeps tears from mirror* "THE MAGIC DOES ME!!"
"I've been cooking up a plan…" *slime woman sticks finger in brain and licks off thick treacly thoughts* "…and it's as wicked as it tastes."
"An alien radio signal in Antarctica has been making us humans violent and horny since 500,000BCE. Our mission is to crank the power way up"
You're disappointed your nemesis apparently only entered the arm-wrestling contest "just cuz", and your beating them foiled no plan at all.
Your shifting the road center line to see if the cars get narrower has led one super-thin car to park and its distorted owner to pursue you.
"My theme song is "Powerful". My fight theme is "Really Powerful". Victory jingle is "Still Powerful". Death scene? "Too Powerful To Live"."
"Is there anything worse than a "being outed" dream where everyone reacts with kindness and compassion they would never give in real life?"
"Can't talk, I'm entering a wormhole," you say. Half of those words reach their phone on their fifth birthday, the other on their deathbed.
You wake to find the colony's broken RNG function has again caused a single metres-tall pillar of snow to fall on your otherwise bare yard.
"We didn't lie! Just because we're aliens from a far star doesn't mean we're not just like you! …That's what the word "human" means, right?"
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