Leon's Microblog – April 2016

A few of my hang-ups with my current abilities, like immature linework and weight, tend to be improved by just drawing and scanning larger.
In particular, my habit of only using a quarter of a page of A4 printer paper per drawing – resource frugality.
All my meagre physical media skills are passed down from childhood, and there are still a number of ingrained habits I must relinquish.
Now for another low-effort cartoon fanart.
Your party's programmer is caught trying to wear the cursed Layer of Abstraction. "You don't understand! It can solve all my problems!"
"Contrary to popular belief, Detective Keith of "Mind-Breaking Felonies" only uttered "Is that crime physically possible?" once per season."
Has anyone drawn Mucha versions of emoji for inclusion in the Arnold Böcklin font
You slip the unconscious villain out of her huge dress in case it was the source of her dark magic, then, for the same reason, put it on.
Your ice golem friend looks away every time you take a terrifying sip of hot tea, and glares when you mischievously slurp it loudly.
*pretending to recite from demon summoning grimoire* Lycos Excite HotBot Dogpile
Placing an RC car in front of the magic barrier surrounding the town and taping down its "accelerate" button as an act of cosmic defiance.
"Has this… happened before?" you ask. A girl at the next table shouts "AAGH! 60,000! It took you tools 60,000 time loops to figure it out?!"
You groan at the pre-apocalypse money reenactors' float, and its tacky coin bathtubs, giant cheques, and pipes lit with burning bills.
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=25554178 – Lifted into the air by your stylistic sleeping snot bubble… I'm loving this.
Cuby Bop
"Here's where the magic happens!" *a tweeter is wrapping a crappy pun in self-deprecating lead-in* *the pun gurgles as its head is covered*
"Are my speech balloons black-on-red now?" "No." *knocks empty paper cup off desk* "What about NOW?" "No."
Stopping time to unleash your flying knife-and-fork attack by carefully laying cutlery in midair according to proper dinner etiquette
"So exactly how old is this game?" "Get this: you have to pay gold just to open your inventory." *breaks into a sweat* "K-keep talking…"
"A "globbal" variable is so named because it globs onto every scope, like a slime, and you must keep from stepping in it wherever you go."
"Some say I'm wise beyond my years. My podcast "Meditations on turning twelve" has ten million listens. I literally own this school."
Having entropy erotically siphoned from your inputs by a powerful random number generator
The news's weather promiser, appeasing both the pro-lightning and anti-thunder viewers, promises tonight's bolts will be bright, but quiet.
"As you push the blocks toward the empty squares, think on emptiness in your life – lost loves, broken plans – and let the cold goad you."
*fiddles with time machine dial* "There's gotta have been a year where every radio station played dark jazz non-stop. Or even a few months!"
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/ – Reminder that I run this screenshot blog on the down-low. I try to make each post at least slightly interesting.
The Ocarina of Time 100% speedrun record is 4h17m, and getting close to the record is colloquially known as "sub-420".
Low-effort fanart by me.
Your boss singly focused on upgrading the office slide at the expense of all other perks, and proudly boasts 1 metre of slide per employee.
I need to see how many games with 64 in the title have speedrun world records within a minute of 1h4m, though.
*sees the world record Kirby 64 100% speedrun is 1h9m* Hmm, shame it isn't a clean hour *realises that this is Sixty Nine minutes* Nevermind
I want to get into a habit of doing more low-effort videogame fanart like this.
Despawning enemies in EarthBound speedruns is the cartoon trope of shutting a door then opening it to make something behind it go away.
It might, in fact, even be worth suffering through its uncharitable surplus of bottomless pits and moving platforms to see this one through.
I'm playing Kero Blaster, and I regret to report that the very hard mode's story is extremely cute and easily surpasses the normal story.
Telepathically communing with a friend's mental impression of you, inside their mind
"It's okay," you comfort your AI friend trying to survive in the human world, "facial expressions can't actually "say" specific sentences."
Heavy footsteps in the apartments above… the only comforting ambiance you've got left in your increasingly muted life.
"You know, taking a risk and opening up to someone can flatter them with your trust," she tells the snarling roiling darkness under the bed.
Your remaining friend, while simply unable to promise they won't disappear too, vows to be ten times the friend for as long as they can.
Super Mario World real-time speedrunning rules
Finally, after four years of very intermittent but intensely arduous effort, I've managed to clear this many levels.
"Ever since the Night Witch ensorceled me, my darkest hedonistic desires–" *pauses to bite six potato chips at once* "–have been unleashed."
Your friend spends each weekend harvesting that tree whose fruits are shaped like her head, driving them to a pit and dumping them in.
"Your mech-suit can sense your heightened fear; it will then assume control of your arm and pat you on the back while saying "It'll be OK"."
"It was a cathartic story. My life has meaning again." "You've been in bed for days." "I'm mourning fictional characters instead of myself."
"Wait! I'm a rational human! I don't have to be a zombie puppet of the zeitgeist! I can decide to keep saying "pwnd" instead of "rekt"!"
"It's just… Aargh! Her super bar's been sitting at 98% for a month! I just want to slap her, simply to give her the final 2%!"
"I'm sorry… but as I watched you make that sandwich… the rare sight of someone actually achieving a goal filled me with sickening jealousy…"
Am I mistaken, or can you put "[data-you-block="true"]{display:none}" in your CSS to ensure you won't see them again
Sonic Pretzel Knuckles
"A new start!" *sweeps papers off desk* *keeps sweeping more papers* *has swept down to the floor and is digging into a paper-filled pit*
"Okay!" shouts one of your neurons, "That's enough moping around! Everyone! Make positive thoughts!" It then resumes firing exactly as usual
"I hope you'll be back soon," says a voice, presumably from whatever object in this room can talk. "Me too" says another, probably your own.
"Look at me, tell me my name, and if you say another riddle I'll cry," they order. You think up one about how eyes can't see themselves.
You merely want your ghost friend to wear socks resembling your childhood TV hero, Talking Socks, and then throw their voice into the socks,
You didn't quite correctly guess what the "Hot Meat Suits" in this secret military hangar were going to be, but you're still pleased.
I still feel it was only yesterday that this programme's storytelling mode would've inspired in me only frustration instead of recognition.
I feel unintuitively fortunate I didn't watch this earlier… that its emotional conflicts have only recently become legible, empathic to me.
To cope with Homestuck's ending, I've now moved on to another hit cartoon of moody teens having magical swordfights.
"I just… I have a fatal illness, and the only cure is for you to watch this–" *weakly shoves open laptop in face* "–and react to it, at me."
"Once you finish reading a story, it's bad manners to the characters inside your mind to reread earlier parts, jumbling their chronology."
"No. I'm neither of those. I'm not anything. …I'm not even the same as everyone else who says they aren't anything. I'm even less anything."
Don't talk to me or my girl or my son or my grandson ever again
"Everyone knows ornate puzzle boxes and hidden passageways are the sign of demonic influence. Why else would they even be in this mansion?"
"I don't regret my parents naming me Yolo, but it's making things awkward here in the afterlife, where it's an unkind reminder to everyone."
"My greatest dream: flying chickens! Imagine, flocks of chickens crossing the sky! Trees heavy, resonating with clucks! A magical fantasy…"
"What do you mean? They gave you a compliment!" "Listen." *grabs shoulders* "If I'd tried harder, it could have been a bigger compliment."
While poring over the docs of this Model-View-Adapter-Presenter-Controller-Observer framework, you learn the Adapter just mines cryptocoins.
"Hey, I know I said I was going with you to Mars, but, um… I'm allergic… to low gravity. And… really small internet. So… nice knowing you."
"Hey… I've been your goofy awkward friend for a long time, and… now, I'm ready… to become your goofy awkward sorceress hypno-master."
"Nuh uhh! Trick question! There isn't an "opposite side of the Earth to us", because of cooooontinental drift! Everything's always moving!"
"Don't worry, babe… We'll just embezzle more money until we can buy the whole company outright. Then it becomes our money anyway… right?"
TFW you're a frail, timid wallflower who can't approach or handle pressure, but then you hit that one weak combo starter and it's party time
I sat down to think of an all-new weird thing about Javascript to tweet about, and sure enough, I came up with this:
I could see, for instance, an EarthBound rerelease that approached Mother 3's largesse in overworld character animations.
What if there were "HD remakes" of 2D games that had the same graphics and resolution, but more unique frames on every animation
and it calls into question whether they are indeed animal meat at all. But still, don't feel obliged to resist your feelings about this.
A note: you may find the barbecue motif personally off-putting. If it slightly helps, the contents of the sausages is briefly brought up,
Anyway, if Sokoban puzzles to that effect sound good, then try it – and there's some fun twists in later levels if you can get that far.
You move as a 2x1 creature by being a 1x1 creature perpetually holding a 1x1 pushing implement, much like the indie puzzle series DROD.
The big deal is that both you and the crates ("sausages") use 2x1 tiles. You must move them, and move yourself, to this simple constraint.
http://www.stephenssausageroll.com – I beta played this game. It's a Sokoban game, but – heh, heh – not like any other.
"I'm sorry… I'm just so glad water exists, and is such a versatile substance we all use every day… o-oh my… and now I'm even crying it…!"
"A mysterious DM offers you $50 if you post the word "bongtrousers" on your main. Can you resist? (If you refuse, the $50 *will* be killed)"
"Me? Cruel?!" *leans forward, elbow pushing the tickle machine's slider past "MAX" into a line crudely sawed into the metal* "Heartless?!"
Fueled by a crystal of pure distilled Fridays, they possess superhuman might and Friday-augmented endurance.
Sick drop, bro
"Look at this," she says, appearing in sunlight as a walking corpse. "But look at this," she says, appearing in her home as a healthy human.
You playfully mock your lich sub by using their phylactery as the final cent in a roleplayed retail transaction.
"It assumes that a dog suddenly sprouting a cannon from its back would instantly weaponise it instead of seeing if it can still roll over."
The butterfly chrysalis became transparent, revealing chairs, bookcases, a kitchen, and a cozy loft built by the parasites that devoured it.
"And when we're old and super crinkly… more crinkle than human… just a huge crease in spacetime, our grand-kids tossing garbage inside…"
You think of the gods, working endlessly to blow the wind, flow the rivers, fill the clouds, and how they'll never know your love for them.
"Feel somethin' different?" you grin as they pat your hair, then "No, press harder!" as they somehow keep missing your newly budding horns.
"It's my lifelong dream fulfilled – an entire wall of my house covered in French horn tubing! You can just stare at it for hours, can'tcha?"
"Sakalya did not know him; his head fell off; robbers made off with his bones, mistaking them for something else."
Look, Sans is not secretly Ness, Lucifer, Dr. Andonuts or any other character. Papyrus, however, is indeed Sakalya from the Upanishads.
The dryad feeds handfuls of autumn leaves into a shredder – no evidence can remain once winter takes over.
You ring the pizza place and ask them to send "twelve pizzas with guns on top" in "your fastest armoured delivery truck".
Nevertheless, it's fitting that this frequents children's/all-ages serials, like TV shows and games (insofar as those are serials).
Generally, though, this isn't the primary intent for its inclusion: it's usually just a potent reminder of the series's arc narrative.
Through frequent use, this tension permeates the series: regardless of its other themes, it exudes the anticipation of growing up.
So, every time this "goal place" is shown, a juxtaposition is made between the future and the present, of goal and means.
And yet, it is an inevitability that they will, somehow, reach this place - the journey must end, the unthinkable must happen.
and for a hidden land or treasure to finally be in their grasp is for reality to be sundered, dreams to become true.
For the heroes to breach the lair of their constant adversaries is to finally, impossibly, become their equals in power,
and indeed, for them to set foot in it will mean that the power dynamic that defines the series has been destroyed.
This visually striking place is so at odds with the world the heroes know, that to picture them even inside it is unthinkable,
which is usually the ominous, alien-looking villains' headquarters, or a fantastic, renowned locale of legend or dream.
One thing that's always fascinated me in serial fiction is the trope of being repeatedly shown the heroes' "final goal place",
You carefully remove the hot dog from its bun, untie the sausage's skin, and sift through the meat to find the succulent crystal Dog Core.
Despite being curled-up asleep, the dog somehow keeps sliding forward on the running treadmill, preventing you from using it.
"That's actually a "GO HOG WILD" sign that mistakenly has the word "STOP" painted on it instead."
Her grip on your mind is released. It seems you've won the bet – even with full-body possession, she still can't make you roll your tongue.
I love these npm dependency warnings, informing me just how awful the package I foolishly chose to install is.
Actual dungeon room design from A Link to the Past.
"Aww," you hear the ghost doctor sigh, head halfway inside your chest, "looks like you won't be dying for a long time yet."
"We're not going to be besties. Or even top-tennies. But we can be cool-friends-of-the-day. Now for a sunset selfie! Our only one, ever."
You wake up to find your bed on a crane-suspended girder, then lean over and grab your earplugs off your dresser as its girder swings past.
"I wished my new school would be real and not an illusory testing ground for cosmic beings to realise they aren't human teens. I really did"
"It's time to play in dual-stick mode." *confidently presses Num Lock and coils hands over the arrow keys and numpad*
"The game ran out of points to give me, and is giving me bone ammo instead. I now have 100,000 bones, enough to hurl for 27 straight hours."
Your partner's tail isn't prehensile, so when yours clasps it in the street, it makes you look, misleadingly, like the dominant lover.
This is the last day before you become an adult and lose all your facial features, so you make sure to do as many eyelid pulls as possible.
As you grow tired, you both roll over in midair, and now she's the one flying and carrying you in her arms.
"Ha! There's no ceiling that won't burst apart from the force of my rapidly enlarging body!…" *suddenly bends knees with a worried look*
"These are the diffs of all my friends – made from our root codebase – who couldn't fit on this escape drive. Someday… I'll recompile them."
"I, a human raised in giggly slime world, will shatter the crystal wall and reunite both worlds!" *rolls over and bounces belly against it*
"I'm sorry… Even looking at a globe makes my eyes shimmery… I just love this damn fool planet so much… Would that my arms were the equator!"
You don't have any friends to fight for, so you invoke the name of your awful moody cat to spur you through your nemesis's flame pillars.
"The teeth marks on my plate armour… mean… that I slew the beast by slamming it in the jaw, with a somersault," you explain to the scribe.
In Medias Res When you play this card in real life, design or choose a CCG ruleset, and assemble a match around the card in any legal state.
http://tasvideos.org/5076S.html "Procedurally generates every input accepted by SMW and keeps resetting the Bowser fight until the end is reached."
"Yeah, I don't like my face, shoulders or height, so I'll just have to wear this huge papier-mâché head to fix my head-body ratio, forever."
The strides of ancient warriors are inside the feet of fleeing archivists: the weight of the world, equal to the weight of cradled scrolls.
"Bury me upside-down, legs in the air, so they grow boughs bearing fruit: tiny heads murmuring my poems until silenced by a juicy bite."
https://www.twitch.tv/tasmalleo/v/58323896?t=01h08m49s – Explanation of a major Paper Mario tool-assisted speedrun shortcut discovered today after a year of work.
"Latin. You know, like they spoke in Latinopolis." *language scholar slides under table in dismay*
The slime's poison stirs up discontent in your veins. Soon, your brain is deposed in a coup and your body becomes the slime's vassal state.
"People are baffled there's 60 seconds in a minute and 100 cents in a dollar. My plan to average them to 80 each has, alas, been shunned."
The phrase "L-lewd" is a reference to the game Killer Instinct, where the announcer would shout "L-LEWD!" whenever a fighter broke a combo.
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