Leon's Microblog – June 2015

You light a match just for a hint of smoke. The suggestion of incense, to rouse an old memory of this same ritual in a richer time.
The merger executives have all brought their long-muzzled dogs, whose loud sniffles beneath the table confer an air of power to the meeting.
You're in hot pursuit of the pirates who stole your planet's name, forcing its citizens to refer to it as just "ugh, you know, that place".
His ocean castle of magically raised seawater was meant not just to entice you into arriving, but to frighten you into never leaving.
"History was made that day: first human chess player to defeat a sentient mountain, moving their pieces through tiny landslides."
"We found the recipe for this soup on an old scroll in a cave. You're the only one who'll taste it – the scroll was one of the ingredients."
"This version adds the arglfargl syntax, typed like–" *rolls face on keyboard while moaning in pain* "–and that's basically a full MVC app."
After the pro tweeter's death, over 500 unfinished selfies were discovered – some missing only eyes and lips, others merely vacant rooms.
"Utopia was achieved when Smedley's 750,000 Instructive Tales to Entrain Youth eliminated all 750 thousand forms of crimes in a generation."
You lost your key, so you had to take your entire front door with you on your back. Suitcased salesmen pursue you, fists primed to knock.
"Fashion moves so fast in this city that everyone constantly appears as an archaic wizard to everybody else, no matter what style they try."
A gap in your chest twitches – a heartache's ghost? – when you observe your mummified body is now more skin than flesh, a coffin of you.
One seemingly unintentional Sesame Street joke I only just noticed is that the immense Mr. Snuffleupagus refers to Big Bird as just "Bird".
"The only way to "destroy" timeghosts is to do something so very cute that they keep going back in time to watch it over and over, forever."
Frustratingly marooned on a planetoid whose escape velocity barely exceeds your jump. You leap so high, for so long, but still fall short.
A morning so cold that you just plug your robot arm into an extension cable, hurl it out of bed and let it drag itself through your workday.
I'm interested in this movie but I know without seeing the plot summary that there'll be an abrupt cheesy villain fight in the fourth act.
The film Inside Out posits a horrifying fantasy world where, for no reason, your emotions can goof up and wreck all your cognitive abilities
The sad part is that if I looked up the original context, it would all be ruined, right down to the imaginary cadence I've read it in.
Sorry everyone, I just discovered the "he's frozen in there" meme and it's beneficially destroying my life.
You took 10 steps on this planet before being tackled by a pack of xeno-puppies, gleefully licking joules from your suit's energy shield.
The zombie archers had all died from arrow head-wounds. "It's like we suddenly got arrows on the brain or something," they dryly chuckle.
Legend has it that if you see a grey ace person, you will die in 3 days, but then return to life anytime they vaccillate back to sexual.
A page's CSS can be in many places at once. The stylesheet. The HTML. The JS. The browser defaults. The electricity entering the user's PC.
I won't link the image itself because it's mostly underwhelming, but I'm relaying the description to you because I'm jealous of it.
This pixiv image's description roughly machine-translates to "Get giant boobs with this one easy spell! (note: rest of body also enlarged)".
Everything a succubus does brings pleasure to their soul-eaten thralls: doing laundry, reading house prices, waiting for the bus in the dark
Secret Kid Tip: Deliberately misread the word "doing" as a sound effect. DON'T READ unless you're a -kid-.
"My rival and I were equal opposites: I an ace romantic, they a sexual aromantic, but both of us bound by the tug of professional jealousy."
OK, hear me out. What if, when you selected Yoshi, all 400+ Smash Bros. background music tracks switched to their bongo versions
Zelda being at both the very bottom and very top of the Smash tier list feels like a JRPG final boss plot twist encoded in the metagame.
The fact A Prairie Home Companion is sponsored by "coffee" and English majors makes me assume it's in the same universe as Sesame Street.
"Watch out! She's so heartless she cloned herself to claim her own bounty! And so narcissistic she busted her clone outta jail to make out!"
https://cloud.githubusercontent.com/assets/938453/8054369/c586e540-0eca-11e5-97ed-96f971ed499c.png – I can't believe Safari's Javascript engine will finally support the Number() constructor.
"No, our love potions cure love, like our fire spells extinguish fires, and flight spells help people down. Healer-mages solve problems."
8-bit games' lack of motion and lighting cues made it easy to interpret alien terrain as blending the boundary of mineral and biological.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/SuperMetroid-WreckedShip.gif – Consider that these blocks in Super Metroid are more unambiguously furry, or at least chitinous.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/Metroid.gif – I've always headcanoned that these rough blocks in Metroid are covered in blue fur, since childhood.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/ – Recently I was informed some of my GM games had stopped working. They should all be back now, if you missed them.
To protect themselves from retaliation, the judge, jury and prosecution of the Face Mage's trial transformed into talking star-nosed moles.
Writing code is much like writing prose, except you have to solve a fiendish logic puzzle every 10 minutes. So, basically a net upgrade.
resulting in a shovelware race-to-the-bottom, barraging the player with microgames that have just 4, 3, or even 2 seconds of gameplay.
I'm miffed that this development was ignored by Game & Wario, and we didn't get to see any fierce microgame industry warfare plots,
I relished that the backstory of WarioWare D.I.Y. is that half of Wario's staff quit to form a competitor.
"Yeesh, just learn your roommates' names! You seriously can't keep referring to each of them as "Person-X"."
You imagine the shielded Earth – a tiny silver orb, bathed in the blaze of its dying sun. An egg with a trillion souls, waiting to hatch.
The school has retired its latest uniform after yet another heroic student made it synonymous with firing heart-lasers at nightmare beasts.
Until 2010, the only Follow button sound clip was "Welcome to the front seat *car revving* of a wild ride!", far from the 65 we enjoy today.
After summoning what the wizard press kindly called "several" bees, he stomped up and down near his opponent's lectern to make it tip over.
OK, you might have deleted Earth's root node, but don't worry, you're sure someone must have an object that references it somewhere.
You both had to press your phones hard against your cheeks to barely feel your kisses through the glass.
AI programmer putting "//This file is computer-generated" at the start of all of her source files.
$('<p style="color:red"><b></b></p>').find('b').css('color') This evaluates to "rgb(255, 0, 0)" in Firefox and the empty string in Chrome.
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