Leon's Microblog – February 2015

http://twine2.neocities.org/changelog.html – Twine 2 users, I've finally added a changelog for upcoming releases of the Harlowe story format here.
"I'm but a voyaging traveler, paying my way with stories of never-quite-was," begins the robed figure in front of you in the checkout aisle.
"Children of poor families would elect to be changed into a wealthy student witch's familiar, that they may at least be near to education."
The reason for the carousing: not that the dragon was slain, but, for the first time, it saw the emaciated village unworthy, and flew away.
You put runes of strength on your boobs, so you can live knowing that they could lift a mountain or split a chasm if they had arms.
"Suckers!" *top hat flies off revealing wizard's hat underneath* "Those weren't magic tricks at all!" *pencil mustache unrolls into beard*
That moment when your muscle memory types the "find next" keystroke from the IDE you and your ex used to use.
The cockroach is unable to type a < sign, so it just jumps on the 3 key over and over and hopes the blog post's author can figure it out.
"I could apologise… or I could grip this cliff edge and stare at your feet for the rest of my life. We'll grow old together, them and I."
You prise off the close box and affix it to your jacket, so that in your next confronting social situation you can press it, and disappear.
A schoolkid determined to ace her primary school geology test, confident that it's her first career step to becoming a volcano.
Professors smuggling balloons and cake down the hall after they set up the head of department's surprise birthday party in the wrong office.
Do not be fooled! This is a lowercase L, and not, as its proximity to these other keys may suggest, a | character.
"Object-oriented programming languages tend to name this keyword "this", "same", "selfie" or "me irl"."
"Every animal body is its habitat replied: a rebuke to a hostile world. We are all that first prokaryote, deep inside our different suits."
You tell the vampire emissary their myths of "sun-walking slayers" who "hunt us while we sleep" are just the MegaBears. "We fear them, too."
Erotically imprisoned in a restrictive API by a powerful outdated library
In my opinion, converting the Map to an Array first produces a more intuitive signature: [...map].forEach(([key, value], array) => ...)
The rationale is that this is interchangeable with Array.prototype.forEach()'s signature: element (≈ value), index (≈ key), array (≈ map).
ES6 tweet: Maps are key-value pairs, however, Map.prototype.forEach()'s callback signature reverses their order: (value, key, map).
Suddenly suspicious that the worlds were specifically designed around the arrows (snow world = fire, sea world = ice, death world = light).
Suddenly remembers the four dungeon equipment items in Majora's Mask are the bow and the three elemental arrows, in order.
Now it's possible to style hyperlinks like this, too. Not sure about that "Hovering" prefix in the name, though.
https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/CSS/filter#sepia%28%29 – I'm not sure why a sepia filter needed to be added to CSS, but I've braced myself for it to be massively overused.
Your ring slides off your finger in a soapy wave, breaking your enchantment. A century's worth of bath wrinkles erupt over your entire body.
Ah yes, the soft restraining hug of the Security Fluffbeast. Now you remember why you catburgled this wizard's tower so often.
I also like leg selfies where it appears as if the subject is standing on a wall, or walking in midair.
I like obvious arms-length selfies where it appears as if the viewer is being clutched in the subject's hand and stared at intently.
*doesn't capitalise the word "boolean"* "Take THAT, George."
You're cleaning two hairbrushes by brushing them with each other, and it may be the 3AM talking but this could be the secret to free energy.
"I'm glad I no longer feel pressure for us to present as a "normal" relationship for her," she says to her giant mech-suit AI husband.
After hard study, you relax your brain with an audiobook of lies. "Frogs freeze themselves in comets to travel in space," says a soft voice.
You make it through the day by turning into a hundred-foot-tall dragon queen on the inside, but not the outside.
How can the fight end like this? Pushed off the pinky finger of a giant statue of your ex… by their pinky finger! A shame no one can endure!
This behaviour unexpectedly emerged: this line forces you to click that link when you visit every single passage.
Adding a new sigil just for system variables would surely result in confusing them, given how you can both (set:) and examine them.
I'm admittedly still loathe to add a system var within the author's variable namespace, but it's probably the easiest way to understand it.
Twine 2: finally making some progress on this page styling macro feature.
"She's coming – quick, hide in here," she says, shoving you into the closet full of the lovers she was seeing before you walked in.
"As a scientist I am delighted by Dr. Peacegood's attempt to destroy my robot army with her own, thus validating my "invincible" hypothesis"
Unaware that wasted electricity can "leak out" and raise the dead, the family is tormented by tiny yellow ghosts for the rest of the movie.
"I'm sorry…" titter the other dinner guests. "Can you just…" Their eyes dart to the open grave in the corner. Sighing inwardly, you leap in.
"No one knew why the new phone company built free booths in the thickest of the woods, until the calls came in from children decades lost."
Your partner mocks you for watching an eclipse on your first day of immortality. "You're free now! You can watch as many of em as you want!"
"Don't feel bad. We're only human," comforts your scout. A rabbit ear slips from their hood, but their words are so warm you miss the irony.
"Urgh, my polymer synth-flesh chassis was meant to stay soft for over 100 reheats!" *sits down, loud crackling noises erupt from every limb*
"I give up, social media uploader," you wail. "I'm a big hairy ape that grunts. That's what you want to hear, right? Now just take my data."
The wizard gave omniscience to the tutorial fairy NPC in your videogame, which it's now excitedly imparting to you dialog-box by dialog-box.
If PHP docs can call search and source text "needle" and "haystack", why couldn't they call string replacement arguments "straw" and "gold".
Continuum. (The W had a messy breakup.)
Huge eels. (The W slid out of the middle and landed near the front of this sentence.)
Iron. (The W turned to look at the r.)
Malignant. (The W is upside-down.)
For the next half-hour I will only tweet words containing the letter W.
"C'mon, peel the bandage off fast! It'll hurt less and be over sooner! I promise your skin won't rip off with it." *AUDIBLY CROSSES FINGERS*
Web development: I will always love you.
"Fear, not hope, is what keeps humans alive. If you are indeed fearless," he said, gently pulling off his face, "you are no better than me!"
The ever-sailing ghosts shuffled into the cabin. Each took their turn to touch the satchel of sand, to remind them of their eternal goal.
The curse kept her from moving an inch more than an acre from her parents' grave. She leaned, tired, against solid air, a tilted human tree.
If humans claim they "discovered" spells they stole from gods, demons and wood-spirits, then the frog-lord indeed wrote this history book.
You recall when your hair fell over your face and sent you to the world of aromatic nutrients mentioned on the shampoo bottle for 300 years.
Over 90% of humanity has Extend-o-Arms now… Vitruvian Man is being amended… The voice command "Extend-o!" has begun to replace "Hello"…
"Hum, yes, I certainly liked being alive, and since I was very, very good throughout it, I do fancy I deserve another go at it, oh Reaper."
*reads code* "Yeesh, I can't believe I wrote such neophyte code. I'm so much more skilled now!" *adds three more layers of indirection*
"You'd think the teens would've learned after 2 films where they 3D-print a woman, only for her to have vast evil power over all 3D objects"
Just kind of stabbing the portal open with the end of her wand, clawing it apart with her hands. "Is that safe?" you ask. She glares. "No!"
"As the Reality Shaker, you will introduce new rules when the game lulls, such as "you eat sand, not food" or "you're all vain detectives"."
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=2645028 – Green and magenta aren't half bad together.
"For a being that spent 10 years as a tiny slimy child," quips the sorceressbot over your flippant ribbits, "this should be like old times."
The kids of Habitation Sector 8 grow up and learn that the "pure air" of Sector 7 which lets people "live to 200" was propaganda all along.
"I injected my brain with prokaryotes, the first life form! Their primordial knowledge has given me pyrokinesis!" "OK, we give up. You win."
Using it in Javadocs or LitCoffeeScript code plays to its strengths in a way that, say, using it for prose blog posts sort of doesn't.
Anyway, these tradeoffs are oft overlooked when discussing where to deploy Markdown. Its design goals are not as universal as many presume.
Also, its promise of intuitiveness may make authors less careful about escaping it, especially when discussing things like JS's "__proto__".
And, its lack of memorability means that issues arising from its ambiguity are more severe: knowing when a list item ends, for instance.
But, the tradeoff is that many of its syntax structures are more readable than memorable: the [link text](URL) syntax being most infamous.
The sort of parsing bugs that, for instance, lead to things like "&amp;" appearing in the final text are much less of a deal in Markdown.
This is in one sense liberating in that you can input MD in a service that *may* support it, and worst is it remains as ASCII decorations.
Markdown was designed with one overarching principle: that it must Look Good Even When It Isn't Being Parsed.
"Feeling sorry for yourself for 20 minutes counts as a power nap if you do it with your eyes shut."
The under-kingdom's map bears relics of past wars: tunnels trace surface nations' old borders; shafts open to atolls in international waters
Well, the Queen's photos got deleted again and the royal time wizard is smirking at you as you sweat over her PC. No, old man, not today.
The soaring delight as the humans felled the tree imprisoning your soul! The crushing defeat as its log was made into a telephone pole!
"No! This cannot be!" you mumble, "how could a mere 10:30PM defeat me?! No… I had so much to do… So much…" Your eyelids overpower you.
"Consumers have grown slovenly, lacking the "prey fear" that companies can charge them extra fees anytime for any reason. That ends today."
"Sadly, Heal Zap VIII leaves some mana scars," says your latest healer, "so I'll refer you to someone who can remove them with Heal Zap IX."
You spend minutes combing your hair just right, so that it inconspicuously covers your brain's pressure gauge.
Every duel with her ends in a learning experience. Once, she punched you into a snowy mountain. The next, slammed deep in the Earth's crust.
The orbital colonies don't have wind or mana, so you might as well remove "wind mage" from your résumé and replace with "no qualifications".
"Alas, the twist of replacing his rival's sheet music with Circus Galop was as alien as the premise of a "piano duel to the death" itself."
The Arena in Kirby Super Star implies that characters like Twin Woods, Halberd's reactor, and Computer Virus entered a fighting tournament.
Your sword only fires deadly beams of light while you're out of debt.
"If venom is in your veins, put something else in there! Antivenom is the best, but milk, toothpaste or a rich veal stew can help, too!"
You could have won, but now that she's used a speed powerup, you might as well just let her tear you in half vertically with her bare hands.
(A scant few of them are kind of gross though, so take heed.)
http://shrines.rpgclassics.com/snes/ct/eattacks.shtml – In other news, these fan poems are surprisingly good if you imagine Gruntilda chanting each of them.
JSYK the game does not crash if you use cheats to make Flea cast his "♡♡Magic" on someone other than Crono.
"Food selfies, conversely, are photos of things that are about to become part of my body."
You end the date as elegantly as possible: scrambling out a window onto the street where your cronies are dragging a mattress back and forth
You remember being inspired by the bulge of tree-roots buckling concrete. Now, you discover to your horror, it simply looks untidy.
Even into retirement, your dreams are still filled with your work. Waking leisure flows out of your mind like dust – only labour remains.
(Note that (link-replace:) in that picture is actually the current (link:) macro's behaviour. Some say the top behaviour is more desirable.)
Twine 2: I'm trying to nail down the names of these potential new macros.
Unfortunately, their first glimpse of the spectacular alien countryside was dampened by the sight of nearby Earth cows looking indifferent.
You try to cheer yourself up by reading old gushing blog posts you'd written about your now-ex, after find-replacing all the names.
"This backache of mine was 10 years in the growing," the warrior warns his masseur. "Don't think your hands can crush a mountain in a day."
"Wizardlords are, of course, expected to marry their most powerful summoned demon. To marry another human is the height of indignity."
"Look: the mightiest telekinetics don't have buttons on their clothes. They just tear them all off on a whim and repair them in an instant."
"The scientific community is under mounting pressure to have Extend-O-Arms users re-classified as "the next stage of human evolution.""
"Dogs smell evil first. Then, parakeets will flap. Tamagotchis will be incontinent. Finally, Bonzi Buddy's scream will rouse the whole camp"
"The first cameras could only capture teeth, requiring the rest of the figure be painted in. Smiling caught on like wildfire, however."
"Wait! Before you go. I… I love you!" "Hey, thanks! I love me too!" *exits* ":o :o :o" *hours later* "He agreed with me about something!!!"
(flashing colours)
Somehow, I knew it would be loaded with self-indulgent tomfoolery as soon as I saw the cover.
Finally, I own an artifact befitting a Twine developer.
Humans walked on the moon, you think, but we can't speed up this eclipse so you can flub this once-in-a-decade spell yet again and go home.
You gave the other two magic rings to your friends, but it didn't stop you drifting apart. Now there's two omnipotent strangers out there.
"Yes, I'm made of sugar. No, I don't know what sugar tastes like. Yes, I grow back if someone licks me. No, no one can, not even my lovers."
"You're good!" you chuckle when the candidate mind-mancer makes you forget how to open doors. "I'll be kicking myself after this for sure!"
The team's fire-themed hero is too nervous to be bombastic. He asks if someone else can be fire. They reply that fire can be demure, too.
A certain Twitter username is available, so if you wanted, your name and username could together read "Starfy, why did you @​evencomehere"
"…Hey you, c'mere," murmurs the market barker, discreetly beckoning you. "Listen," she whispers in your ear, "I think bargains are garbage."
"Did you hear about the ocean?" "Yeah." "Let's lie on the beach with our feet in a bucket of water, and remember it."
"What if you blew open that door, and my mainframe wasn't in there – just a huge spring-loaded boxing glove? You'd feel pretty silly, huh?"
"Every monster has its matching hunter. Ghosts have exorcists. AIs have hackers. Armpitbeasts have the League of Ticklers. Humans have me."
"There are many things that God intended," she replies. "That so many of them are daunted shows disappointment is cosmically inevitable."
The richest politicians afford a "head-minder" to stand over them and cover their eyes or ears when opposing speakers spout heated rebukes.
"Where do itches go after you scratch them?" *UV light revealing all of our clothes, doorknobs, and possessions are really, really itchy*
Locked in surveillance stalemate for decades, the all-spy population of Spooksville longs for its only source of new intel: town visitors.
"If your friends are mocking you for not buying a yellow computer, simply shout "COMPUTER, BE YELLOW!"" *the casing turns bright yellow*
Another bittersweet case where we can ride the wave of the future until it crashes against the jagged rocks of the past.
You'll be glad to learn ES6 iterates over strings by code point, even though indexing and .length are still broken.
Dozens of letter-writing ghosts grumpily fuming as you write a "P.S." in an email instead of just editing the infinitely malleable text.
You wonder what's happening in the incredibly long dreams of all your friends who announced "I'm done, wake me when it's 2016," last month.
OK, here's the hashtag for real:
I can't get into my real #4childhoodcrushes so in the interest of irony I'm posting Thing, the AI cube from Truckers http://www.toonhound.com/torritthing.jpg
The wizards reacted to the fire alarm by turning to stone, but not before shielding their tomes with as much of their flesh as possible.
"And here's the point in her oeuvre where humans disappeared and cats, trees, spiders, slugs and the evening sky took their place."
Finally, your party's adviser fairy is helping out, you think as you pluck her out of the air and use her leg as a tablet stylus.
God, when you delete a circle in Google+, it does this awful cheesy CSS rolling animation.
A science-fiction space setting where the word "global" means the opposite of what it currently means.
A Mac OS-themed sentai team whose members are named Essential, Hot, In Progress, Cool, Personal, Project 1 and Project 2.
"If in a dream you're seduced by the nightmare demon Alfeasance: go for it. No matter what, you still have your real soul when you wake up."
If your sleeping partner's nipples stiffen, they're cold. If they glow with starlight, they're sleep-astral-projecting to the Cosmic Zone.
"See that dog who's half black and half white? Do you think it has memories from both of the dogs who fused into it?"
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