Leon's Microblog – August 2012

Leon news: I scored 37 in http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/PongAntipong/ which I guess is my personal record since I didn't keep track when I was making the game.
Aperture Science Hot-Melt Gluing Device
VESPER.5 feels like the sort of game that would be utterly amazing if more people tweeted about it.
This game has just politely informed me that the gloves are off.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/30541655685/machinarium - It's easy to see what you've got to work with on this screen.
http://mikeluckas.net/Conquistas/comics/2012-07-13-PAGE1.jpg - As far as first pages of webcomics go, this is at least a solid B+. (Source: http://mikeluckas.net/Conquistas/ )
"Suddenly, a fleet of tiny lollipop aliens lands on Earth! Their quest, to collect the most precious substance in the galaxy: human saliva."
"I guess this is goodbye. But, before you go... can your hand hug my hand?"
Leon news: fixed the HTML5 versions of Trusty Assistant and ABOVE v. BELOW on my site that got broken... somehow.
"Doctor!" gasped the nurse as the surgeon pulled his head from the incision. "This tumor's too tough," he spat, his face battered to a pulp.
"No, no, I'm using it for medical purposes. ...Well, it's to cure my The Entire World And Every Hellish Moment We're All Alive Inside It."
Everyone, make more games where the central mechanic involves putting things into bodies that aren't pieces of metal.
Someone make a platformer where you get double jump, and the protagonist is wonderstruck and acts like it's the most miraculous power ever.
Augh, I just realised that the roof party in Thirty Flights of Loving is the wedding party for the couple in this GIF: http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/ThirtyFlightsOfLoving-Borges.gif
A more ominous final column of pixels there never was.
"What've indies been up to this week, Porpentine?" Detonating the whale. Putting steaks on eyes. Fleas haggling rent with dogs. Library sex.
Pirate surgeons burying corpse-stolen treasure in their surviving patients.
Someone should just make a point-and-click adventure where the solution to every puzzle is 'make a crappy disguise out of garbage'.
"noting that [Alan Turing] took "an especially keen pleasure in the scene where the Wicked Queen immerses her apple in the poisonous brew"."
If it moves, shoot it. If it flashes, touch it.
Aah, I just remembered the other main inspiration for Terra Tam, other than Alien Soldier - it was Another World. How could I forget that?
I don't know how long it took Nifflas to get the ball physics working in HyperCard.
First levels are usually more concerned with showcasing the protagonist rather than the world. Hence, they tend to the mundane and pastoral.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/Braid-BWP-Clouds.gif - It took Jon Blow a year to port Braid to the Mac Plus, but I think we can all agree the results speak for themselves.
"The universe is about 75% smashing matter, 20% pulverising matter, 45% pummeling matter, and a shocking 3200% ball-punching matter."
Little Wheel. Odd optical illusion: if you concentrate on the carriages, you stop noticing that the poles don't loop.
Just noticed Terra Tam would be more on-theme if instead of stealing the subtitle of Street Fighter II, I'd stolen the subtitle of Halo.
Those times when your brain feels like it's trying to grow a mouth so it can throw up.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Terra_Tam/ Here's a HTML5 port of my quick-and-dirty combat-comedy black-and-white fight game, Terra Tam. #LD48 #SleepDeprivation
http://www.ludumdare.com/compo/ludum-dare-24/?action=preview&uid=1084 - Here's my #LD48 game ev-er-ee-body! It's really dumb and I didn't have as many ideas as I'd hoped. (HTML5 port soon.)
"It isn't a true chiptune unless it includes SID arpeggios, PC speaker beeps, Apple II disk noises and the 'bullet hit' noise from Contra."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-8H1XOJTEk - I have to wonder about retro-themed background music with samples imitating the arcade, Atari, NES and dial-up modem.
*checks watch* Ah, it's the part of #LD48 where you're procrastinating making the complex art assets for your overextravagant end boss idea.
*burp* *tweet* A fatal e3ror has occ:red in 1h:s univerVe. Pleasz save al! open documeuts a*d proc^ed in sin9le fil~ to the near`st black h+
Nostrils of Flesh and Clay II: Zero Degrees Scentigrade
"Here are my final thoughts. After this it will be impossible for me to think about this subject ever again. I won't be taking questions."
To celebrate 300 updates on http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com, tomorrow's GIF is 10 megabytes large and 128 seconds long.
I played Vesper.5 and had a real pang of sadness when I realised how much real-life work I'd have to do before I'd see the next two flowers.
My #LD48 game is becoming a new kind of masocore that's turned against the computer.
Possible #LD48 contender. It's planned to be a 'fighting' game where you only win through freakish strokes of luck.
#LD48 Abandoned: You download the game then leave it on your hard drive and never get around to it. You win when you finally launch it.
The starry sky shone in the well. The boy dived in. There was no splash, but he was floating.
Leon news: Botanicula has made me feel more joyful than I've been in like two weeks. End Leon news.
"This heist's the big one. We're gonna be lifting maxint dollars." Stunned silence. "Yup, it's impossible to pull a job bigger than this."
The best thing about Jamestown is that it looks like a TIGSource mockup screenshot that magically, impossibly, became an actual real game.
http://nedroid.com/2010/06/battle-ready-extra-ready/ - I still like this @nedroid comic.
"The money reactor had a meltdown. Tons of unstable cents and heavy dollars leaked out. Six megabucks of depleted simoleons, in fact."
"Cat fact: stray cats howl at a frequency that is inaudible to other cats. They just do it to annoy humans."
"This'll be a tough heist, boys. Get a load of the joint - a black hole. But I've got a plan, see." *opens copy of A Brief History of Time*
Arrrgh, I just got the pun in the name "Citizen Abel". I thought it was just a great secret agent name!
2P point-and-click game where each player controls either the pointing or the clicking. Move past this bomb before your opponent can click!
"The true artist finds greater pleasure in venerating copulation than actually doing it."
This Is How The World Ends: Aliens impoverish the Earth by getting the rights to Shave and a Haircut and charging obscene royalties.
"Stand aside," said the programmer as he pushed past the surgeon and saw the patient's exposed organs. "We need to refactor this codebase."
The colony of ants inside your body has noticed you've become aware of them, and will evacuate via the nearest urethra in a few moments.
It's annoying when you're trying to read your own writing and keep getting interrupted by an "oh godddddddd" rumbling from your own throat.
The secret to #LD48 is to think of an idea that only needs 5 hours of work, and then, AS IF BY MAGIC, watch as it miraculously needs 30.
Leon news: I've fixed the few incorrectly assigned sprites in the browser port of Moon Escape. End Leon news.
I've realised that with the advent of 64-bit operating systems, PC games can now legitimately put "64" on the end of their names.
Dynamite Headdy goes Eugene Jarvis.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/29850368606/knytt-stories-white-city - The middle one was so close to being a screenshot that wasn't actually animated. Fortunately I'm a man of principles.
"This creature is your enemy. This is also your enemy. And this, and this, and these. What did you do, game protagonist? What did you do?!"
Top 10 Wireframe-Slapping Virtual Reality Jokes To Tickle Your Mind's Eye's Funnybone
"Unleash your inner nerd's inner party girl with these physics-themed sex tips!"
You step off the Boat of Adolescence to discover that the Island of Adulthood was really just a matte-painted brick wall on a bare sandbar.
https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/201873661093883905 - This #LD48 suggestion of mine still stands.
I love that @WeeklyFrogJokes's profile makes such a straight, no-nonsense offer to all of his potential followers.
I find it neat that @nedroid used to do illustrations for one of the @JohnDiesattheEn web serials.
"Do not attempt to asphyxiate yourself. This causes extra load on the oxygenator and may result in your blood reaching unsafe temperatures."
"Your unusually high fear responses have been identified, and your intravenous dosage of terror suppressant will be increased accordingly."
"Do not attempt to free your arms from their restraints. Your itches have been identified and scratchbots are being deployed on your back."
"Congratulations on completing tutorial 1. For your first reward, a synthetic finger coated in honey will be positioned near your mouth."
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Saucer_Sandys_Moon_Escape/ - Here's a browser port of my new game. Enjoy, report bugs, etc.
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/3949 - Here's a new Leongame!!! Just a frivolous colourful random thing to get me back in the game of gamemaking.
Secret for Wins: Stand in a flower patch to teleport. #SecretForWins
Secret for Wins: Shoot the sun to get Fire Arrows. #SecretForWins
Fire enemies struggle with fire the way we struggle with flesh - its every limitation, its every manner of aging, weakening and decaying.
Fire enemies take less damage from fire, the element that they are made of, that is central to their entire identity and way of being.
Secret for Wins: Transform into a pumpkin then flush yourself down the toilet. #SecretForWins
Secret for Wins: Click on the Queen, then drag her through the air and drop her on top of her King. #SecretForWins
"The doctors said it was just a runny nose!" *points at his wife as she is embraced by a slime boy made out of her snot* "I'm hopping mad!"
"This is what fracking has done to me!" *sets fire to own urine stream* "It's not natural!" *urethra is shrouded in ghostly blue flames*
The girl awoke before her family did, and for a few precious minutes she walked through the house as if it was all hers.
His arms, always laden with tools and objects, kept hers away. She could only ever hug her husband in his sleep.
The children had marked their calendars. On the windiest day of the year they tied their kites to trees, climbed the strings, and were gone.
"Note: this work contains jokes of a hilarious nature and may lead to funnybone arousal, pleasurable knee slapping and intense guffaws."
http://brawlinthefamily.keenspot.com/2012/08/17/430-the-best-pokemon-team-ever/ - I adore this episode and I don't care who knows it.
http://kinokofry.com/archive/me-and-g-011-g-is-for-guest/ - I still like this @kinokofry strip.
Cultivate an air of mystery around you by referring to all events in your social calendar as "Event X", "Incident Zero" or "The Confluence".
"Penguins: Can They Smile?" *cut to a clown weeping in bitter defeat at an Antarctic birthday party*
Trick or Treat hot tip: dress up as a giant piece of candy - instead of taking the candy they offer you, just gasp and baby-talk at it.
Space Invaders '95.
http://catandgirl.com/?p=3727 - I like this webcomic, even though it's usually very dry.
http://alternate.smackjeeves.com/comics/94055/chapter-1/ - This webcomic is actually pretty good for something that was allegedly created by a 14-year-old.
Game idea: all of your bullets come from a global online ammo pool. Different players play a boring assembly line minigame to replenish it.
"The Fire Flower was added to Super Mario Bros. to replace the original source of Mario's hand-held fireballs: vicious flagpole rope burn."
"Congratulations! You've solved the first of seemingly many mind-bending physics puzzles. Now step into the Success Flames in the Exit Pit."
Call me crazy but I think the "Art Therapy" co-op bonus course in Portal 2 was actually funnier than the rest of the game combined.
"L'esprit de l'escalier": French for "someone who stood on the escalator too long and got sucked into the top and now haunts it as a ghost".
I like that @ryanqnorth once ran a forum where each instance of "blowjob" was word-filtered to "lingering kiss on a CRAZY part of the body".
I wish I was the sort of person who likes chat. Chatting with basically anybody makes me feel like I've been sent to the principal's office.
When you get to floor 11 in Zaga-33 and that bass guitar is added to the music, is when you know things have gotten seriously real.
"In most clients, if you make 4 tweets in a row that each get 13 retweets they all bounce down the screen leaving trails like in Solitaire."
A flying saucer vigorously trying to incite communist revolutionary fervor in a set of regular saucers.
"I want this body-horror to be as scary as it is sexual. I want my heart to scream all my blood into my genitals."
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8n2xnxzhc1qhttpto1_1280.jpg - I'm fascinated by how strongly this reads "NES cutscene" to me. (Source: http://www.budikwan.com/)
"This next mission is critical. We can afford no mistakes." *tries to turn around, flips over into a handstand instead* "Darn, not again."
"I can't switch off this cloning machine... and each clone is eviler and sexier than the last... oh... oh no... CRITICAL MASS-"
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/29217488796/gunstar-heroes - These things are like 3MB apiece so my apologies if your browser starts to melt.
#EvilComputerNames DOOMVAC. MurdOS. Deep Blood. Calamitron Mk. XIII. K.I.L.
The ghost leans forward to give the curse of immortality to his mortal lover... He screams SO LOUD that her skeleton leaps out of her body.
Brooding, tragic ghosts... possessing centuries of culture and refinement, yet slaves to their hunger to rattle chains and shout 'BOO!'...
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08122004 - For some reason this one stuck with me as well.
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04282006 - Apparently this is Post Your Favourite Achewood day. This one is kinda good.
Here's a Follow Friday: @aliendovecote for heady aromas from your body's dreams. Why do I have more followers than her? Please correct this.
What is going on with these colours...?!
Knytt Stories, "The Machine".
Alien Soldier. Ladies and gentlemen, the showdown of the century.
Rogue virus hacks your SimCity, forces you to build streets in shape of the word "TURDS". Thousands of sobbing children click the Road Tool.
I wish the Stussy S symbol was an item in Binding of Isaac. Feels appropriate for a game about a doodling kid.
The Potential Comix challenge has put me in a mood to upload a few very rough comics I did many years ago. Take a look: http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?p=1153693
I decided to try the Potential Comix challenge: http://potentialcomix.tumblr.com/post/29030758844/hello-i-am-leon-arnott-i-run-http No formal training but I used to doodle a fair bit when I was younger.
Browsing sound clip collections from old shareware CDs. @terrycavanagh can you replace the VVVVVV flip sound with this: http://l.j-factor.com/misc/Holy_reverse_polarity-1.wav
#GrimdarkPuzzleGames Brain Torturer. Cerebrum Incinerator. Logic Shiv. Crates of Suffering. Logic Shiv II: Modus Tollens.
"A peanut sat on a railroad track, his heart was all a-flutter, round the bend came-" sang Scheherazade just as the sun began to rise.
"13-14 HOURS ENDING: The Toads brokered peace with Bowser (letting him annex Worlds 5 to 8) and your arrival is an act of guerrilla war."
"15+ HOURS ENDING: Mario's taken so long that the Princess has merged with the castle's stone. Mario's kids have ionic columns for heads."
"The <blink> tag is largely regarded as pointless, as the same effect can be accomplished by just using the <wink> tag twice."
Just a reminder that if you play Hero Core, there's a neat Easter egg if you open the save file in a text editor.
I discovered that even though @wolfhard's Cat Rackham site is broken, you can still read the comic files here: http://www.catrackham.com/comics/
>TAKE PEN You incinerate the pen. >TAKE PAPER You incinerate the paper. >WRITE LETTER OF COMPLAINT TO YOUR CREATOR You incinerate your desk.
http://strangeinvestigations.smackjeeves.com/comics/1325669/chapter-one-the-woman-in-the-window/ - Something about this webcomic reminds me of @madamluna. Maybe it's just the faces.
"Unlike our competitors, our bathroom scales include the crushing weight of dread and anxiety on your shoulders - correct to the gram!"
Measure Your Stress Levels By Number of Hangnails Chewed Per Day
Is it still plagiarism if you're quoting from memory a tweet someone deleted one minute after they posted it? How would you even cite that.
Darn @ConorTripler deleted the tweet about thoroughbred lizards before I could favourite it. Now how can I get my absurd lizard racing fix.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7ikjcbivZ1qhttpto2_1280.jpg - There's something about this picture that I like. (source: http://imageblock.blogspot.com/ )
Dynamite Headdy.
Coming up next on @auntiepixelante's tumblr...
"How large is a god? As it turns out, they are just two microns tall. Pure, distilled beings - no waste, no excess."
I haven't felt this upset at myself in months. I can barely remember the last time I woke up sad.
Here's a Follow Friday: @Iron_Spike. One of my earliest twitter follows. An informative and interesting webcomic artist.
LOOM. I need to remember to hide the flashing cursor better.
I can't believe my luck that these clouds just happen to line up every 20 seconds, thus making this GIF possible.
A space-station dungeon action game?
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/Gimmick-Shadow.gif - On closer rumination, I really quite envy these projectile graphics.
It's kind of neat that they made this game an unlockable in Donkey Kong 64, of all things.
Contra III.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/28507632845/cosmos-cosmic-adventure - My classmates played this loads of times in primary school yet I never knew it had music until just now in DOSBox.
Watch in horror as I make a sequel to Ultimate Game where the New Game button gets stuck to your cursor and you try in vain to peel it off.
Logically, I should be really happy with my life given how many times per day I mutter "THANK CHRIST" under my breath.
You are in a room with a photo. >TAKE PHOTO You take the ripped photo. >INV You have a torn-up photo. >DROP PHOTO You drop the tiny shreds.
I just heard that today is "the Horse's Birthday" here in Australia. Way more interesting than the Queen's Birthday, in my opinion.
Thanks to NetHack I cannot look at the '&' key without ascribing Satanic influences to it.
Some people think the World Wide Web spider puns have faded away, but maybe they just became so omnipresent that we can no longer see them.
Ugh, it's been over a month since I've made a game... how disgraceful... how I can keep calling myself a Leon Arnott is beyond me...
http://shotcontext.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/the-mouth.html - Now someone make a first-person Pac-Man game.
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