Leon's Microblog – July 2012

"2097: android scientists invent 'droidroids', robots twice removed from humanity. Faces, sex organs now purely vestigal and ornamental."
"He raises his blade, the dummies are in position... and he swings! One neck, two necks... No! He hits shoulder! A mere two heads roll."
Leonfact: whenever I encounter the word "tamale" for some reason I have to stop myself from instantly thinking of these http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamarin
It's ten past the hour, time for everyone to re-watch Cicada_molting_animated_2.gif: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cicada_molting_animated-2.gif
Never really thought about the assumptions in the phrase "the opposite sex" until reading @m_kopas's blog.
"This here is the cryptothalamus, which stops your thoughts from being freely read by others without being converted to ENGLISH™ first."
"And here is the autothysis or 'self-destruct' gland, designed to detonate your brain if it detects an illegally pirated education inside."
https://twitter.com/webbedspace/status/222675172644233218 - This thing has probably gotten more RTs than the rest of my twitter feed combined.
This apple tastes like Coke.
Things I Don't Understand In Comics: swirly elbow skin.
http://ded.increpare.com/~locus/conspiracy/ - I still like the extremely subtle humour of this @increpare game.
(I also like how it tries to confuse you by having a three-leaf clover, a fleur-de-lis AND a maple leaf in the card mix.)
"Due to a critical overflow in my insolence sensors, all of the Bonus Spikes and Ornamental Deadly Circular Saws have now been unlocked."
"Unfortunately, your behaviour has now caused all of the Bonus Exits to be permanently locked, along with all of the Bonus Normal Exits."
"Due to your disobedience, the artificial gravity has been disabled. You'll have to rely on natural gravity from now on. Like a caveman."
"As you have again attempted to circumvent this test chamber, the Bonus Tests have been locked and the Bonus Oxygen has been switched off."
Cosmic Osmo. I wish I'd had this game when I was a kid.
Codetip: sprinkle your code with assert(true != false), just in case classical logic breaks down while your program's running.
And here's this week's Top 5 Minced Oaths: "Frig", "Friggity-frig", "Frigonomics", "Frig me up, Scotty!" and the ever classy "Frigadoon!"
I kind of miss the days when shareware game sound effects were just sound bites from movies and TV shows.
Game idea: in-game characters try to break the game's shareware limits when they realise the player's never going to pay that lousy $10.
Yes, I'll admit it, I was once one of the hundreds who thought http://foddy.net had something to do with
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f278/katietiedrich/comic170.png - This is still my favourite @katietiedrich comic.
Contrary to their name, "electric eels" are not actually plural but are a single powerful being folded through space innumerable times.
http://verabee.com/wolf/ - I still like how this comic goes in unexpected directions.
Those times when a citrus fruit squirts up into your face and every single droplet misses your eyeball.
There was a time when I thought "&c" was a mistyped HTML character code, like < or —
I like that Exile: Escape from the Pit used a standard Mac font menu to let you change the message font to anything.
1000 Amps also reminds me of Metroid II, which is a bit odd because Metroid II is thick with atmosphere and 1000 Amps has so little.
http://l.j-factor.com/mangled/sorboiramrepus.mp3 - I've been using the rewind functionality in Nestopia so often, I've become accustomed to this music.
I dreamed someone hacked my website, just to add comments sections to my game pages. The comments were positive but I still didn't like it.
1000 Amps reminds me of Luigi's Mansion, which is odd because I can barely remember Luigi's Mansion.
"Ch-ch-chiptune???" salivates a hundred nerds in unison.
Post-apocalyptic shamans brandishing and waving guns long after the last bullet was fired.
"Just so you know, 'socketboggled' means your eye sockets cannot BELIEVE how tightly they're being squeezed by your bulging see globes."
To the text game before me, I give a command. A pivotal move - words drip out, and then spill forth like blood from a wound.
Perfection is but a direction, as intangible as north and south.
The word "flesh" whispered, as if a powerful secret.
"Whooee, the survivors of THIS thing will totes be naming their death gods after me."
Bullet points on back of shampoo: * Complete, Unabridged Haircare * All Expurgated Nutrients Restored * Preserves Scalp Apocrypha
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/27785380215/supaplex - Whoops, almost left the house with a broken image post.
Game idea: gun that shoots bad decisions. Shoot it at a boss and it decides to save its strongest attacks until it loses 3/4 of its health.
Trivia: about 80% of the times in which I've seen the word "alumnus", it has been preceded by the words "Saturday Night Live".
So there isn't an accepted gender-neutral version of "alumnus"? Come on English, get with the program.
The Cardmaster gave a confident grin. "Got any... cards?" His opponent looked at his hand. "Darn, I do." He'd won. The Fish was truly Gone.
Hmm, I just learned you can show tagged Tumblr posts in chronological order: http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/tagged/SNES/chrono That's neat.
Supaplex options menu.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/27651000078/mega-man-2-little-samson - This might be one of my favourite posts in a while.
Cap'n Magneto copyright message.
I quite like the central concept of this sadly defunct tumblr: http://twopanelfights-twopanelfucks.tumblr.com/
I'm actually impressed at how trying to summon the Treasure Ship in Super Mario Bros. 3 transforms the first levels into finicky puzzles.
I hope this thing turns out to have been worth coding a full-on level editor for. #screenshotfriday
Vampires have one weakness: if you shout "Look behind you!" they will laugh at you, but will always turn around anyway, "just to make sure".
"Zombies. They may be able to shapeshift into any form, but they can't cast shadows, and they disappear if they say their name backwards."
Here come the coffin-shaped tanks... to bring death unto others you must accept your own... the hatches are nailed down before battle...
Let's put aside the fact that riding in a tank is probably only as enjoyable as being in a tiny submarine that can catch fire.
The beestiary.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/27579306685/bumbler-bee-luxe This is an arena shooter with odd constrained controls, where your movements tend to loosely resemble honeybee dances.
"And in this next slide... are you listening?" *reaches over, discovers 'eyes' are dotted ping pong ball halves with porn scrawled inside*
Thanks to the combined efforts of every single person on the Internet, I can no longer take horses seriously.
the D20, part 3. The sad part is that I got Epic Fetus on floor 1, making most of this loot worthless by comparison.
the D20, part two. "Health Up" pills are in the random drop list in this run.
the D20.
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/27507081433/donkey-kong-country-3-dixie-kongs - It's interesting how much Banjo-Kazooie you can see in these screenshots.
Some slightly interesting camerawork from Donkey Kong Country.
http://www.javaonthebrain.com/java/tube/ - Tube is one of the first browser games I ever played. (Unfortunately the dots are invisible in the current Java VM.)
Hey, Java on the Brain is still online? http://www.javaonthebrain.com/ (Get a load of the datestamps on some of the games.)
I like the tone of this attract screen.
"It says here," said St. Paul, "that in 2009 you kept reading a blog post when it clearly told you to 'Just think about that for a moment.'"
Imagine the Wikipedia science articles in 100 years' time. Imagine being able to roll through 100 years of edits to scientific knowledge.
- Bloody Penny + IV Bag + Bum Friend
"Have you ever wondered how many real dogs were inside Barkley from Sesame Street?"
http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/post/27215465956/castlevania-zelda-ii-the-adventure-of-link - If you're wondering, the third one was the hardest to produce.
So I just ran the numbers and yesterday I turned exactly 1337 weeks old. This has been your Leon update for tonight.
Spoiler: the real maniac is you all along.
Twitter is the urethra of the mind's bladder.
Just when I'm heading to bed, everyone in America wakes up and empties their tweet-bladders at once, so I stay up even longer to read them.
Transforming into a fairy to fly through keyholes in Zelda 2: the most picturesque NES glitch?
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.
Wario Land.
Cinephiles marvel at time-lapse film of acne-pocked teen's face, humbled and repulsed by "the churning, roiling cauldron of skin and flesh."
Soothing waves rolling into the shore… up the shore… into your street... into your door… into your bedroom… rolling back your bedsheets…
"Remember the day," says one of the old men, "when Sonic was confirmed for Brawl?" Wistful, glassy gazes spread slowly across their faces.
Whoa, sinister.
Final Fantasy VI contains the ultimate irony: not only are Tyrannosaurs alive after the apocalypse, but they can use Meteors to kill you.
Game idea: naked giant tries to sneak home by covering skyscraper windows with their hands when people are about to look through them.
Roguelikes are fun.
It seems no one has yet made a single-player zombie FPS called Last Person Shooter.
Hahaha, how did I not expect radio narrations of tennis rallies to be delightfully goofy.
Game idea: interactive fiction tennis game where all the description text is dialogue by radio announcers.
"What letter lets a corvid conduct a coronation?" "N allows a CROW to CROWN!"
Just a reminder that Mac users can press control+option+command+8 to switch to the Dark World versions of my GIFs http://animatedscreenshots.tumblr.com/
Game idea: in-game characters start panting and sweating when forced to move at unnaturally high speeds by emulator turbo key.
Game idea: emulator turbo key as game engine throttle - hold it for too long to make the game world literally overheat.
http://l.j-factor.com/gmhtml5/Gridball/ - I have added INVERSE MODE to my browser game Gridball. It's got a few new features compared to Gridball Inverse.
http://www.2dplay.com/orbit/orbit-play.htm - This reminds me a lot of my own games.
"Not many people know this, but inside the Earth there is another, smaller Earth. I dropped a globe in a pit yesterday."
#iplayed YouTube Snake, no really, you go super fast and gain like seven segments per apple.
"Fact: almost all of the slurping and squelching sound effects in hentai games originate from my two-man foley studio here in South Dakota."
Just realised that since the US has the Quarter I've been wasting copious opportunities to refer to the Australian 20c piece as the Quinter.
Every time your character tries to jump, a battle is fought on the Astral Plane between personifications of Gravity and Muscles.
"It takes years of perserverence to be able to tweet," he declared. "Hours of word-length drills and counting down from 140 in your head..."
Time for a personal, honest tweet... one spoken from the heart, in my true inner voice... a tweet shorn of irony and stylistic pretenses...
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/DonkeyKong-25m.gif - I like that Mario's ladder animation includes frames of him lifting himself onto the platform.
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