Leon's Microblog – August 2011

Retweet this if this is the ten trillionth time you didn't tweet the fact that earlier today you broke into tears in public.
"Guess you'll have to save me a healthkit when I get back!" she laughed as the branch snapped and she fell toward the giant fanblade.
Social norms must adjust to a world of superpowers. Is throwing fire in public as taboo as urination? No one wants to be the first to judge.
Jimmy needs therapy to handle the fact that his children can kill him in an instant. But the therapist's office hovers 40 feet above ground.
One of Jimmy's friends grabs a running buzzsaw. He says it feels like a rainbow is stroking his palm. Jimmy has always feared power tools.
Jimmy's coworkers celebrate Friday by sending flames into the dusk air. A pigeon falls, dead. One pokes its corpse and it returns to life.
Jimmy's wife reaches to stroke his hair. Minutes earlier, that same hand had brought his breakfast eggs to boiling with a touch. He recoils.
Jimmy still takes the stairs to work, even though they are just a memorial to the past... to before The Day Everyone Else Got Superpowers.
"Oh dear! It looks like this chamber's respawn point is a little broken. Well, by now you can solve the test without eyes and hands, right?"
"Why do you presume that shooting the aliens is wrong? They're alien - they're beyond all human understanding."
ATTENTION: Cubic zirconia are manufactured in a piece of hardware called a "skull crucible". That is all.
SimCity Urban Renewal Kit.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/LinksAwakening.gif - The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening.
Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins.
http://l.j-factor.com/gifs/Loom.gif - LOOM's monochrome Mac port.
Trip World.
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1841 - A new game of mine, "Wee" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1839 - A new very short game of mine, "Livestock Longstack" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1835 - A new game of mine, "Disc Gunner" (now with Mac port). A @Vlambeer fangame.
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1825 - A new game of mine, "Operation Lodestone" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1834 - A new game of mine, "Parachute Skiing" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1840 - A new game of mine, "I'm Being Eaten By A Spider Queen (And I Don't Like It One Bit!)". Now with Mac port. #LD48
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1827 - A new game of mine, "Gravity Gunner" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1838 - A new game of mine, "Finderseek" (now with Mac port).
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/1842 - A new game of mine, "Trepidatious Peak" (now with Mac port).
"...Even telling you what genre it is would be a spoiler!" "It's psychological horror, isn't it?" "...Yes, damn you, yes."
http://is.gd/i16gOa - Here are a couple more user-made Super Meat Boy level screenshots, if you're interested.
I just spent half an hour trying to rip this one sound effect from WarioWare: http://l.j-factor.com/misc/wario_spring.wav
Is there a special euphemism to use when skiers die by being caught in a giant snowball rolling downhill? "He was mingling with friends."
"At least I finally showed them, didn't I, Dr. Freeman?" laughs a rebel as her torso disappears in laser fire from an insectoid fighter jet.
"You'll have to go on without me, Dr. Freeman!" shouts a man as a spider-tank crushes his pelvis underfoot.
"I'm sorry I couldn't fight longer, Dr. Freeman!" shouts a rebel as she leaps into a giant robotic crocodile's mouth.
Man who shoplifted lottery ticket wins big, hires world's largest attorney - small town cops say "wuh-oh" as huge shadow creeps over them.
"Lethally addictive" videogame warning premature - game's procedural algorithm becomes stale after just 5 hours of nonstop involuntary play.
Rogue peanut butter factory accidentally creates self-replicating snack spread, vindicating "brown goo hypothesis" and destroying city.
Nun with giant leathery wings and superhuman strength accepts she is a miracle, but insists every human life is a miracle in its own way.
I've worked it out. Homestuck is Infinite Jest but with time paradoxes instead of tennis and chatlogs instead of endnotes.
"I can't deny that Dr. Paul's Anti-Tumor Tonic causes tumors- but only at a decreasing rate that can be outpaced by imbibing further Tonic!"
"But could he adjust to a law-abiding life after centuries of skillful slaughter? Of never knowing when his next blood-meal would come?"
Klik of the Month #50 games completed: 10/50.
Valve developer commentary node just appeared in my bedroom - touching it just plays the sound of a man screaming/drowning for 2 mins.
"For this test we have replaced your blood with a hallucinogen. This will explain the videogame-like environments you are about to enter."
"Be warned, intruder! In my labyrinth, whoever goes in... can NEVER come out!!" *sign saying 'NOT THE' appears to the left of the EXIT sign*
"A critical overflow in the victory confetti release tank might cause this chamber to explode if you don't finish the test very, very soon."
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