http://is.gd/6Ru7FU - I applied the Fast Foes patch to Normal Mario Bros. to produce Normal Mario Bros Extreme. It's... great!
http://is.gd/Pxj37J - In this Super Mario Bros. ROM hack, something seems to be very wrong with Mario.
"No! Don't use magic to save your puppy! You're only twelve! That's your father's spellbook! You'll just make things eventually get worse!"
http://is.gd/eRLkvI - This Super Mario Bros. ROM hack is indistinguishable from the original, except that the enemies are _slightly_ faster.
Little girl possessed by extradimensional demons correctly counts to infinity: "...shcesnaffr, tharthorlu, inshnair, inshnazahar, infinity."
"He may have been a Markov chain running on quotes from various male celebrities, but before that, he was my best friend."
Man correctly recites 50 decimal places of 1: "...Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero... zero... oh god... zero?"
"The gold ring will make its wearer shivel up in pure sunlight. The silver ring does the same, but literally instead of figuratively."
"If you're lucky," said Big Tim, "I'll kill you. If you're unlucky I'll Big Tim you, which is a thing I invented that's worse than killing."
"Today my cellmate said that he sometimes gets itches while he's asleep, and has to endure several hours until he wakes up to scratch them."
"When I was six, that swamp cost me my favourite pair of yellow boots. And now," he said, "I'm about to build a ten-lane motorway over it."
"No, I'm staying. Most people would quit here, but just you watch. I can still win the Not Humiliating Myself Entirely game... aw fugeddit."
"I have no excuse," his voice boomed from the chest-mounted speakers of his chrome android forces. "And I just want to say that I'm sorry."
His wife spat into his wine as she stormed out. Not wanting to throw it away, it went into a cupboard to puzzle his children 30 years later.
"This gun is good- it can shoot foes that are even 9 feet away! The downside is the string to reel the bullet back to you sometimes breaks."
The helicopter accidentally poured blue paint on the forest fire. Afterward, they followed the blue footprints to find burnt deer carcasses.
They lost the CD containing the launch coordinates. With only moments left, he made up new coordinates - starting with his son's birthday.
The sky is shining. The sun is blue. Birds are green. Grass is singing. We're all going to die today.
"Even I am limited. I can't, for instance, convince these welder droids that you are not pristine sheet metal. They're just too stubborn!"
"My omniscience simulator tells me that you will survive the next test, no matter how dangerous and unsafe I make it. Isn't that good news?"
"Rest assured that this test is not a death-trap. My precognition cores tell me you will definitely be alive at the moment you finish it."
"Did you know that even computers can have nightmares? I had 267 last night. All of them involved you. I just wanted to put that out there."
"You. Are all. Weirdos! ...Jus' quotin Sam the Eagle there. Case y'aint a cool kid who knows bout the Muppets. Or, as we call em, Da Mupz."
To open the door, rub the statue of Gentle Wix the Kind One. If the door's already open, kick the statue's ass, because screw that smug git.
Her potion, she said, would make him certain to slay the wolflion. It had in fact made his flesh deathly toxic to his victorious foe.
With a snap, you fall through the Pale Bridge made of the bones from those dashed on the rocks before. With your help, the hole is repaired.
"Physics put the stars in the sky and your feet on the ground. It is the ultimate artist, and it is a joy to be one of its creations."
The dungeon door only opens to the word "ingress" uttered in a full moon. The treasure chest within will unlock if it is told a racist joke.
"Are you boys all packed and ready to be melted down and reforged anew in the crucible that is the local camping grounds?"
"Let me tell you," he said, "that you won't BELIEVE how easy it is to give up lifelong dreams, until you've done it, like, 5 or 6 times."
Two insane men, long-lost twins, meet on a bridge. Each believes the other is Satan. One kills the other, and departs in joyous jubilation.
"You PRESUME? You know what happens when you presume, don't you? You make an ass out of... of... oh goddamnit."
According to Wolfram Alpha, the "Baphomet pose" is the evilest limb position in all creation, ranking at about 1.21 gigabirdflips.